The following is a tour of the Salt Lake Temple in 1972 similar to one I went on with Steve Hansen as we did security checks of the Temple. I write this in an effort to let others know that there are gay and lesbian members in the Church and The Lord is merciful to them in His house. I have always been a gay person. I was a gay man when I worked in the Temple. I expected to be a gay for the rest of my life at that time.
This doesn't make the Church false. The Church was on a course of persuasion. They wanted me to give up being gay. My realization was that was not possible.
It does testify that this gay man at this time in my life was apparently worthy enough to be in The Lord's House receiving further " inspiration, revelation and gifts of the spirit " as attested to in my patriarchal blessing. My desire to be in the Temple is still with me.
I'll dispense with the entrances, the underground tunnel hallways we referred to as " the yellow brick road. " Often I would see the Brethren speeding around on golf carts down these tunnels as they made their way to conference. Many times I would see Elder Kimball after he became prophet being whisked to the back of the Tabernacle by way of the south extension of the yellow brick road. For safety purposes I will not describe the security headquarters underground in the Tabernacle area which I entered on numerous occasions.
The main entrance to the Temple was below ground. This led to the main hallway of the Temple. There above me were crystal chandeliers with rows of tear drop crystals. I believe they were Tiffany glass or Austrian crystal. I remember the many hours I spent making them shine with beauty with a mixture of vinegar and water. Then came the most imposing part of the hallway with the grand staircase which circled up and around into the next floor. It was situated at the end of the hallway.
To the immediate right was a room which preceded the Baptistry entrance. It was in or near that room I made a strange discovery concerning the fire extinguisher glass encasement.
There was a dark blue apron. It was safely stored there not being used between endowment sessions. I remember the design of the apron as a visual artist would observe. I intentionally do not discuss the particulars of what I saw on that apron or the endowment ceremony itself nor teachings recieved in the Temple ceremony because they are a sacred trust to me.
The Baptistery was the next room on the right side as far as I can remember. The baptistry opens up into quite a large room with twelve oxen in brass, holding the molten sea, now filled with water.
I was baptized there, as were my children, in behalf of our relatives who had passed on to the next life and who had not been as fortunate enough to hear the gospel with their earthly ears. I remember painting the interior of the fount with a blue resin paint as a sealer to protect this magnificent work of art. It was very imposing and took up a large part of the room.
Across from the Baptistry were two endowment rooms. The Creation room was the first room closest to the Temple entrance on the left hand side. The seating was arranged similar to a movie theater. They were constantly having problems with the seats which was one of my many odd jobs to repair them. The creation room to me always felt austere and cool with its mural of the ocean. Large rocks lined the coast of the picture. This is where I used my oil paints to cover scratches made by vacuuming cleaning ladies. Patrons too, sometimes got too close to the walls causing minor damage.
A door-like entrance in the wall in the midst of the ocean scene led from the Creation Room to the Garden Room. The Garden room was similarly set up like a theater. The murals were bright with greens and yellows and were filled with birds and animals of the jungle or rain forest.
One fascinating feature of the Garden Room was its elevator in the front stage area. It was a marvel that Brigham Young had these shafts built into the Temple even though the elevator was not prevalent in 1880's.
While I worked in the Temple I had visited the alcoves which were somewhat hidden in the Garden Room next to and behind the heavenly elevator. My work exposed me to many nooks and crannies that most people would not be able to explore.
Upon leaving the Garden Room there was a beautiful grand staircase. I always felt the spirit of the Holy Ghost as I ascended to the upper rooms and chambers of the Temple. There is a beautiful Tiffany window half-way up the staircase. The staircase turned 180 degrees at this point as it ascended to the next floor. The stained glass window pictured Adam and Eve by the Tree of Life. Through the figures depicted on the window I experienced a feeling of banishment as I ascended the stairs. Completing the staircase I turned left being on the next floor to enter the World Room. This area depicted the world in which we now live.
After ascending the grand staircase to the right was the matrons office or the registry. In this office are large oval type windows, the shape of which can be seen exhibited on the exterior of the Temple.
In this Matrons office and registry is a Tiffany window which went from the waist line to the ceiling. It is to the left forming much of the wall. I figured it out that this is the window which completes a large section of one wall of the Holy of Holies room directly behind the window. The light coming in the Matron's office provides light for the Holy of Holies stainglass window.
On many occasions, as I vacuumed I would reach up to touch the window with awe in my heart. I knew many beautiful revelations had occurred to the prophets in this room. I never thought for a moment I was unworthy to touch and be that close to holy ground even though I was homosexual. I felt that my Heavenly Father must love me to let me know His spirit and His holy dwelling place.
Proceeding along the hallway there was a spot where Christ appeared to the Prophet of the Church, Lorenzo Snow, on September 2, 1898. That seemed special to me for I was born on that day half a century later. I was told by Temple workers all the time that the Savior was seen within the walls of his holy dwelling place. I too had known the spirit of the Savior within these walls.
The Church is the program and it's time for an update to the program. The Church is missing out on our testimonies and the good we could do. I cannot believe the church would be the author of anything not praise worthy. Ignoring gay and lesbian members if they wish to do good seems to be not praise worthy to me. If we have testimonies we ought to have a place to bear them in honesty
of ourselves and without hypocrisy. We are your Teachers, your Bishops, and Leaders. Just think you may have passed us on the grand staircase in the Salt Lake Temple.
Just outside the World Room there was an elevator. Very close to the elevator there was a large buffet-sized table. It was always covered on its top and sides with a lace cloth. The reason for the covering became apparent when I brushed it one day as I was cleaning. Under the lace cloth at the joint between the legs and the table top were gargoyle-looking faces, mouths opened ready to bite. These figures were out of place for nothing else in the Temple is unpleasing to the eye or the spirit. I asked why this particular piece of furniture was in the Temple. I was told it was part of a collection given to the Temple and had been there for a long time. I can testify that NOTHING in the Temple occurs that has any evil type quality in the slightest.
Upon entering the World Room I was impressed by the height of the ceiling which appeared larger than those of the previous Endowment Rooms. I also touched up an area on these murals done by another famous Fairbanks in the Church.
The room has a western American type desert scene with lions fighting in the front, waterfalls, and sagebrush. It gives a feeling of coolness. There are altars in most of the Endowment Rooms which are used in the service. The movie house type chairs are also in this room as well as the Terrestrial Room north of the World Room.
The most prominent object of the Terrestrial Room swirls into view upon entering it, The Veil of the Temple. On one occasion another worker in the engineering department and I were summoned on an emergency. When we arrived on the other side of the Veil other engineers were feverishly repairing what appeared to be broken lines holding the Veil in place. Working together we were able to quickly repair the problem just as the Veil was to be lifted.
The next room to enter was the Celestial Room. The ceilings are very high and gothic. There is gold leaf ornamentation and pastel painted rococo fruits and other sculptures coming out from the ceiling. I watched German and Swiss craftsmen gold leafing these beautiful ceilings. They also were experts in painting the pine benches in the Tabernacle to look like oak. The furnishings were similar in style to the gargoyle table in the hallway but with out the gargoyles.
To the immediate left was an entrance which led into a series of marriage Sealing Rooms.( where marriages are performed for eternity ) This section of the Temple was added on in this century. To the immediate right was the hallway that led to the grand staircase. Next to that doorway in the Celestial room was a sealing room with an altar. Another sealing room sandwiches the Holy of Holies entrance going east.
During my work at the Temple, the Holy of Holies double doors were guarded by a very expensive vase perched on a small table. The door was also locked. One day the Holy of Holies was being cleaned and all the furniture was brought out into the Celestial room. There was an altar, table, chairs and a lamb's horn with a dipper in it, and the horn was filled with consecrated oil. As I looked into the Holy of Holies through the doors that opened occasionally as workmen labored, I saw a hallway which led to a small stairway and to a second set of double doors. The room beyond the second double doors appeared to have beautiful red draperies and the focus of the room was the Tiffany window depicting the first vision of Joseph Smith kneeling before God the eternal Father and his Son Jesus the Christ in the Sacred Grove. ( the window I touched cleaning )
I am prayerfully discussing this information not willing to offend God but I do want to show how close I was to Holy places of God. The Lord found me ever so slightly acceptable that he did not destroy me nor stay my hand. I believe he did so that I might report these very experiences and beliefs mentioned in this book, and to testify that now is the time for Gay and Lesbian members to serve in the Church. I don't ask to go into the Temple, nor to be considered anything to the leaders except as a person with a testimony and a desire to serve. One thing I will not do is deny nor lie for the Church before God and man that I am not who I believe myself to be, gay.
The ceiling of the Holy of Holies was capped by a dome with up to six small stained glass windows which seemed to be in a flower pattern. This dome protruded into the next floor's dressing rooms of the Twelve Apostles and other General Authorities in the Church.
Back to the Celestial Room and next to the Holy of Holies was another sealing room, this one with a stained glass window. At the very east end of the Celestial Room, off to the right-of-center was a stairway that seemed to go nowhere. In reality the mirrors which covered this door facade lead to the Sealing Room where my former wife and I were married for time and all eternity. It had an altar. There was a large slit window on the east wall. On the exterior of the Temple above this window was an all-seeing eye, and above the eye the words, HOLINESS TO THE LORD.
There was an exit close to the sealing room near the Holy of Holies which exits to a hallway on the eastern most part of that floor. It was there that I vacuumed and during breaks looked out the main east doors of the Temple's circular windows. Except for a quarter of an inch border they were frosted. It often reminded me that while I was in a most sacred place I could still look out and see the world. On one occassion I watched a Primary Children's parade through the clear section for a few minutes.
On either end of the hallways were circular spiral staircases. One day as I was walking down one of these staircases which ended below the ground I found a dead bird which I removed Going up one floor from the Celestial Room floor on the staircase brought me into the room directly under the angel Moroni statue in which James E. Talmadge wrote the book Jesus the Christ. I can not remember the exact steps we took to the room where the dome to the Holy of Holies was located. There were pictures of many leaders of the church on its walls. There seemed to be wooden railings around the room. The dome came up into the room and lamp-lights were attached to the dome, which lit up each stained glass window. The room was filled with lockers belonging to the Apostles.
There was a corridor and it led to the meeting room of the Twelve Apostles and the First Presidency. ( The President and Prophet of the Church, and his two counselors ) There were large soft chairs for all of them set in a semi-circle. Pictures of the prophets of the church were on the walls. In that area if I can remember there was a pitcher in the form of a swan with basin.
I was informed that this dealt with a ceremony in which the Prophet of the Church washed the feet of the other Apostles. Just off this Counsel room was a dressing room for the First Presidency. There was a large wall armoire with the First Presidency's Temple clothing. I touched the clothing slightly in awe and wonderment.
Down the hallway toward the west end of the Temple on this same floor was a dining room with the most enormous table I had seen in the United States. There in DaVinci type ambiance, sup the Twelve Apostles, the Prophet and God knows who else. It's magnificent in the most humble of ways.
At the top of the spiral staircases the rooms appear to be unfinished. The roof was entered through a door in the main east steeple. Once I was eating in the old Hotel Utah top floor restaurant and saw a man walking across the Temple roof. There is a walk way. I never thought I would be walking there on the top of the Temple someday. I could see how the lights were positioned on the spires.
The final ascent occurred when some repair was being made on the Angel Moroni statue. I was taken to this area that looked as if each room needed a paint job and purpose. Finally I was just below the statue looking at the famous pendulum type rod and ball that kept it in place. I was surprised to find the last slabs of the Temple tower leading to the angel's feet were rough and jagged much like the slabs below the main east stairway leading to the east doors.
This is my recollection of the Salt Lake Temple. That was twenty some years ago. I feel it's fair
to say I have been the same person yesterday and today with the normal amounts of
improvements most people receive with maturity. I imagine I will be very similar to the person I
am now in the future.