My resolve to write this book became fixed when I decided to end my Temple marriage, resign my membership in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and requested my name be removed from the membership roles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
This book is not an expose of the Church but a call to healing for myself, a gentle voice to the Church leadership, and to the membership. It is written to all people who seem to struggle in their understanding of the homosexual experience. To reveal discomfort and pain may in some small way raise the consciouness of those who preside over others. Once the understanding has been accomplished I hope to hear the still small voice of God teaching all of us to better love one another.
I appreciate the missionaries who first taught me the discussions or ( doctrines ) to the Mormon Church. They saw in me, what they called a golden person to convert. I feel gratitude for the faith of these missionaries for seeing in me a love for the truth and my desire to progress spiritually.
I acknowledge my children's love and acceptance of their father, knowing they too must struggle as all of us do with life's puzzling circumstances. And yet they too must build precept upon precept of faith as I have to gain and regain a testimony of the Restored Gospel ( Mormon Church ). I love my children. I acknowledge my children as the most precious part of my life.
Thank you to my son who provided his computer and encouragement just when I needed to start this work. I acknowledge my other son who by his love and understanding withstood an onslaught of negativity concerning my lifestyle and my life. I am praying that this book will bring neither shame nor blame but enable them to know that they were loved by both of their parents through a difficult stormy period in all of our lives.
My thanks to June Reading an author in the history of the families that settled San Diego, California. She encouraged me by suggesting new emphasis within the book, adding hours of feedback and support which influenced the completion of the work.
Gerard W. Arthur-Wong, Psy.D. did in depth editing which included punctuation, syntax, and composition. Dr. Wong can also be credited with balancing friendship and professional resources enabling me to begin to heal many wounds from past occurrences in my life. Thank you for your participation in the refinement of this writing.
My deep appreciation to Dana Bruce for reviewing large sections of the manuscript, giving me numerous suggestions concerning the appropriate concepts, word usages and context.
I acknowledge my conscience which awakened me sometimes daily extremely early to help me contemplate every side of this dilemna imaginable.
My lack of embellishment of the physical description of many of the people in this book is out of respect for their privacy. Names have been altered to protect them from any consequences of their forced hypocrisy. Public names used are a matter of Church, State and Local records implying no blame to them for their behavior.
It may appear there is an extreme detailing of my biographical information. This is due only to
the anticipated disbelief many members of the Church and the Church leadership may have in
believing my life and circumstances occurred. When I remained an anonymous writer previous to
this book, many members of the Church tried to discredit my experiences and writings. I want
them to understand I am a real person whose experiences are revealed in this work.