Kid and Caboodle: Musings of a "Split-Shift" Mom
By Peggy B. Hu
December 2006

Isn't it ironic that the winter holiday season is such a stressful time for so many people? Even though the holidays generally involve a break from the 9-to-5 routine, they aren't particularly relaxing. Depending on your family traditions, there are so many extra tasks to take care of at this time of year -- from gift buying, to holiday letter writing, to cookie baking, to house decorating, to party hosting -- that it seems as though you are working an additional job.

Take gifts, for example. Not only do you need to think of all the people for whom you are expected to buy gifts, but you also need to think of what each one of them would like and find something appropriate that still fits within your budget. If you do find the right gift for someone (not always possible), you still need to wrap it, and in some cases mail it early enough to reach the intended recipient before the holiday.

Hosting holiday parties is another complicated task. At my workplace, holiday parties are handled by volunteer committees who take care of everything from decorating rooms to coordinating food-and-drink donations (or collecting money to buy enough food and drink for everyone), providing entertainment, and cleaning up the party site afterward. At home, holiday parties are much more challenging to manage.

For me, the holiday season starts the week before Thanksgiving as my husband and I annually host a party with an ever-expanding number of people to celebrate our son's birthday. Next comes Thanksgiving at my sister-in-law's, then Christmas with my parents, then the New Year with friends (we alternate hosting), and finally the Chinese New Year with my parents. This year will be even more complicated than usual, as we also have to fit in an informal class reunion for me in late December, and my son's attendance at a classmate's birthday party in mid-December. My husband's birthday also is in December, though he has not yet expressed interest in doing anything major to celebrate.

These are some of the tips I use to keep myself sane during the holiday season:

1. Shop for gifts throughout the year. That way, the holiday season won't be so hard on you -- or your pocketbook!

2. If you write an annual holiday letter, keep notes for it throughout the year. It helps to keep your calendar intact (don't remove any pages) until you have finished writing the holiday letter to remind you of significant events throughout the year. Also address your cards throughout the year rather than waiting until December.

3. When hosting a party, divide up the work. Ask family members or some of your guests to prepare side dishes or desserts, help you set up, or help you clean up. Also consider ordering some dishes from your favorite restaurants or buying some prepared foods rather than cooking everything yourself.

4. Keep lists for everything, and keep them somewhere you can access quickly and often. On my computer, I have an inventory of gifts cross-referenced with potential recipients that I update every time I go shopping, an address book for holiday letters, draft party menus, and lists of party invitees. Getting organized can be difficult at first, but it really saves me time and stress in the long run to have everything written down.

5. Be honest with yourself about how much you can handle. It's hard to say "no" sometimes, or delegate some tasks to others, but every so often you have to do so to keep yourself from going crazy.

So how do you deal with the holiday season?