In the first match of Xero Slade took on both Bidnessman and Dark Timmy in a game of Hide and Seek. After counting to ten Slade found Bidnessman hiding behind a couch. Not content to simply tag him, Slade picked up Bidnessman off the ground and threw him onto the hard floor. Timmy jumped from his hiding place behind a bookcase and attacked Slade from behind. Slade stimbled for a second but regained his footing, turning with a punch into Timmy's stomach. Timmy went down and Slade emerged victorious, having "tagged" both opponents.

Before the team Red Rover match MXG official Linda D. asked Eggplant Girl what she hoped to achieve with her undefeated streak up the MXG ladder. Eggplant Girl stated that she would stop at nothing short of holding every MXG champsionship. One after another she would consume the titles until every one was hers.

Once the interview was over the Jedipimps defended their L33t Team Championship against the Drunken Butterflies. In a surprisingly fast game of Red Rover, the Jedipimps called Ravenslarke right over. Ravenslarke's attempt to break the two man chain was unsuccesful, as X'2001 and Datafox used their positions to lift Ravenslarke into the air, sending her flying. As she came down, the force of Ravenslarke's bosy crashed through the Jedipimps arms, causing their grips to break, and leaving the championship to the Drunken Butterflies.

Both Youtea and Eggplant Girl exercised their vocal chords in a Karaoke contest. The audience ultimatley chose Eggplant Girl's rendition of "Hey Jude" to be superior to Youtea's warbling of "The Crying Game".

The second title defense took place with a game of pool. Evil Penguin seemed to be committing suicide, scratching the cue ball more times than seemed proper. Wabut steadily put balls in pocket after pocket. With only the eightball to go, Wabut seemed ready to become the new Bastard Champion when Psymon and Wesley attacked Wabut and Evil Penguin with pool cues. With both men down Psymon and Wesley laughed heartily until Eggplant Girl hit Wesley on the head with an old modem. Psymon turned and seemed ready to counterattack when Neon rushed in and pushed a bookshelf onto him, thereby winning the "make it fall on the other guy match" Neon and Psymon were scheduled for.

Jon Wang came out ready to defend his Ownage Championship with a game of Risk. Jon Fung seemed ready to play the long boring war game. To everyone's great surprise Fung stayed up for the entire game. Even more surprising is that after the sixth hour Wang showed signs o fatigue. By the tenth hour Wang was beginning to tire. At the end of the thirteenth hour Wang forfeited, leaving Fung the new champion.

The week of June 12, 2000: Bat Outta Hell

As Bat Outta Hell opened up Dark Timmy was being treated for his injuries from Quicksilver Spiral in a cryogenic chamber. He was guarded by Datafox, X'2001, and Wabut. Suddenly Slade crashed through the door and tore through the guards like they were tissue paper. He ripped the lid off the cryogenic chamber but it turnned out to be empty. Dark Timmy hit Slade from behind with a lamp and told him that he could take on Jon Fung in a Shady SOB match, and die trying to rip away Fung's number one contendership before he got a shot at the Title. Timmy then turned on his guards, claiming they were incompetent and booked them, and himself, for a fourway, best out of three, game.

The first game of the week was Stratego. Eggplant Girl took on Neon in her latest attempt to climb the ladder of success. All was going well for Neon until he accidently exposed his flag and Eggplant Girl took it out wiht a bomb.

In team competition Ravenslarke and newcomer Princess Adiana faced Psymon and Wesley Fong in a fifteen minute game of hide and seek, the winner going on to face the Jedipimps at Xero Chance the next week. The losing team would be whoever was "it" at the end of fifteen minutes. The game started off with Wesley Fong "it". He was able to find Ravenslarke behind a statue, Psymon under a gurney, and finally Princess Adiana under some newspapers. Princess Adiana counted to ten and the others hid. Adiana let Ravenslarke run by her to home base and safety. She then found Wesley hiding near a table, but was unable to catch him after he left behind a decoy, tricking her into tagging his false self. Luckily Psymon was hiding rather obviously behind a lamp. She tagged him and he was "it" with only two mniutes left in the game. Foolishly he counted to a hundred before shouting "olly olly ox and free". He was still searching for his first victim when the match ended.

The Four-way game ended up being Tetrinet. Dark Timmy won the first match using gravity and switch Fields. Timmy declared that the winner of the best out of three would go on to face the Bastard Champion for the title at Xero Chance. In the second round Datafox was quickly eliminated, followed by TImmy. Ultimate victory went to Wabut, who usedd the "add line to opponent" feature for clearing lines to his advantage. X'2001 then dropped out of the game, claiming it pointless since there was no chance he could get enough wins to advance. In the final round Timmy was quickly disposed of by Wabut with blockbombs and add lines. Timmy was soon followed by Datafox giving Wabut the best 2 out of 3 wins he needed to face the Bastard Champion next week.

Evil Penguin defended his Bastard Title against Youtea in an arm-wrestling competition. After distracting Youtea momentarily, Evil Penguin was easily able to defeat the challenger.

Jon Fung, angered that Dark Timmy wanted to foist his troubles on the number one contender by taking out Slade, was in bad spirits as he took the newcomer on in a game of Deuces. But before a single card could be dealt Slade smashed Fung's face with an elbow. Fung fell back and pulled out a knife. Slade deflected the blade again and again, pausing only to take another blow against Fung. Weakened by the constant barrage of fists, wlbos, and feet, Fung fell back. In response Slade advanced, unaware of Dark Timmy and Bidnessman sneaking up behind him. As Fung got up Timmy and Bidnessman pummeled Slade with blunt objects, giving the newbie a proper welcome into the MXG League. Once Slade lay still Timmy turned and cracked a quick hit against Fung's skull, knocking the number one contender out as well.

The final game of the week was a non-title match between Bidnessman and Jon Wang. Wang laid out the board for Risk and began to distribute the cards when Slade entered the picture. The enraged player tackled Bidnessman and proceeded to pummel him. Dark Timmy came out and tried to tackle Slade. Slade was able to dodge and left a battered Bidnessman to concentrate on beating Timmy. As Wang watched the carnage unfold he was attacked from behind by Jon Fung. Wang recieved multiple shots to the back of the head before passing out. As Wang, Timmy, and Bidnessman lay helpless to the beatings of their attackers Datafox joined the bloodshed, kicking Bidnessman in the kidneys. The three unconcious men were finally rescued when Ravenslarke and Princess Adiana appeared armed with sword and bat. The two immeadiatley took down the member of the Jedipimps, striking Slade or Fung if they got too near. In the confusion Bidnessman got up and jumped on Slade's back. Slade struggled violently to get the unwanted visitor off. Fung swatted at Bidnessman with a chair, but only succeeded in hitting Slade. Slade fell to his kneesleaving the only people standing Fung, Ravenslarke, and Princess Adiana.

Quicksilver began with Wabut coming out and demanding that the Ownage title be returned to him since he had forfeited the match, not because he was a weaker opponent but because if he hadn't he would have fallen asleep. But then Jon Wang came out accompanied by the MXG Senior Executuive, Dark Timmy. Dark Timmy declared that if Wabut wanted to regain the Ownage Championship then he would have to become the number one contender. Then he might get a chance at the title at the upcoming Xero Chance in two weeks, provided he didn't lose next week. Jon Fung then came out with a steel chair. Dark Timmy backed away quickly, keeping away from the angered number one contender.

Fung shouted angrilly that he was getting annoyed at Dark Timmy's constant offerings to other players to become the number one contender, a distinction he had rightfully earned. He was going to Xero Chance for the title shot, not Wabut, not anyone. He would destroy Wabut tonight, easy as 1-2-3, but if Dark Timmy didn't stop trying to give away the number one contendership spot there would be hell to pay.

Visibly shaken Dark Timmy continued, claiming that there were too many titles out there. According to the MXG Charter only five individuals could hold belts at a given time. And since there couldn't be only one Team Champion the Remote Championship was going to have to be destroyed.

Suddenly an enraged Ravenslarke came out and hit the Senior Executive with a wooden practive sword. Dark Timmy fell to the ground and Ravenslarke began shouting at him. If he wanted to get rid of a championship he should get rid of the retarded one he held on to, the Shady SOB Champsionship, not her own Remote Title. Angered himself, Dark Timmy got up and put his face inches away from her own, he said if she was so certain she had a better championship then she should put it on the line. They would plat a game that very night, the loser's Title destroyed, and it would be a Shady SOB match. Ravenslarke agreed, and then hit him with her practice sword again.

Youtea and X'2001 started off the actual fighting with a game of Poker, best out of 5 hands. Youtea won the first hand with three kings to X'2001's two pair. The seond hand went to Youtea as well, a spade flush to a pair of jacks. X2k+1 won the next hand with a full house, easily beating Youtea's three eights. But the game ultimatley went to Youtea who won the last hand with a crappy hand, Ace high to X'2001's nothing, ten high.

Next up Bidnessman, still angered about the Team loss to the Jedipimps last week, took on Datafox in a game of Connect Four. The action was furious, although not fast, as each player took careful time to plan their moves, going back and forth. Whenever one player was able to gain three in a row the other would quickly block off the forth space. The action finally ended when Bidnessman was able to get three in a row horizontally with an usable open space on either end. Datafox, seeing the trap, submitted.

For the match of the number one contendership it was Quake III, Fung's game of choice. Although Wabut put up a good fight he was out of practice against someone with as much expierience as Fung. Fung began eliminating Wabut again and again, resulting in a 30 to 10 victory over the former Champion.

Eggplant Girl, eager to climb the ladder to the MXG Championship took on Psymon in a game of Trivial Pursuit. Psymon, almost a decade the junior of the MIT student, stood no chance as Beijia correctly answered question after question about obscure facts predating the ninties. Psymon, for his part, was able to answer two questions correctly, but it wasn't enough to defeat Eggplant Girl, who moved one step closer to her hopes of MXG Gold.

Wesley Fong came out and challenged Jon Wang for the Ownage Championship. Wesley told Wang to bring out any game of his choice and be defeated, provided it was a video game. Wang, who is inexpierinced at video games came out and astonished the crowd by agreeing to the challenge. Wesley smiled and asked what game Wang wanted to play, Super Smash Brothers? Street Fighter? Quake? What game could Wang bring out that Wesley wasn't better at. In answer Wang revealed that he had an obscure Eurpoean import, Risk: the video game. Within an hour Wang held the world and Wesley had lost.

For the main event both Dark Timmy and Ravenslarke came out carrying their Title Belts. Since Timmy had decided it would be a Shady SOB match Ravenslarke got to choose the game. Her decidion: Martial Arts with practice swords, first one unconcious loses. Timmy tried to use what fencing skills he had but was quickly taken down by Ravenslarke and her near relentless attacks. Scrambling to his feet Timmy ran to the nearest table and picked up a chair. He hit Ravenslarke square on the head. Ravenslarke fell, a little woozy but not unconcious. Slowly she began to stand up but Timmy hit her again. She fell once more, on the verge of unconciousness and Dark Timmy raised the chair for another blow. Suddenly Slade burst into the room with a broom handle and relentlessly hit Timmy before he could react. Timmy fell unconious moments before Ravenslarke dropped off. Slade stood over both triumphantly, having eliminated the Shady SOB Championship in his introduction to the MXG League.

Davis is War started out with a bang as the JediPimps defended their L33t Team Championship against Bidnessman and Wesley Fong in a team game of Super Smash Bros. Datafox was Samus, X'2001 was Mario, Wesley was Ness, and Bidnessman was Fox. The condition to win: have the most combined kills at the end of the game. Competition was fast and furious, with X'2001 adapting Evil Penguin's usual strategey of suicide by killing Ness before jumping off the side, ensuring noone would get the points for his death. The plan wasn't perfect, as Fox succesfully killed Mario, not only once but twice. Soon only Samus, Ness, and Fox were left, leaving Datafox in a bad situation. But crafty usage of his character's weapons allowed Datafox to triumph over his two opponents, finishing them both off while only losing one life himself. With a final score of 9 to 4, the JediPimps emerged victorious.

Youtea came out and demanded to know why he had no championship even though he was far better than any of the other contenders, not to mention the Ownage Champion himself. Youtea then began to go on a tirade about how many times he had owned Wabut at such games as Panty Raider and Starcraft. Suddenly Wabut came out and declared that Youtea was the biggest dumbass in all of Davis. Youtea responded that there were too many dumbasses in Davis to ever varify that. Wabut agreed, and said that if Ut wanted a title shot then he would have to take on the current conteder, Jon Fung. Youtea agreed to the match and then left to watch in amazement as people left their car doors unlocked without any dire consequences.

Remote Champion Ravenslarke took on challenger Eggplant Girl to a game of Tetrinet. Unused to Tetrinet, Eggplant girl made many mistakes, including using gravity on Ravenslarke no less than three times before Ravenslarke told her what it did. Ravenslarke was relentless in her attack on Eggplant girl, throwing Blockquakes and Clear Random Blocks at the challenger's field. Eggplant Girl looked to be in quite a situation until Ravenslarke felt sorry for her opponent and used a nuke field to clear Eggplant Girl's field. The charity turned out to be a ploy however, and Ravenslarke switched fields and then Blockquaked her opponent, leaving the newcomer from MIT to take a quick fall.

Next Neon and Dark Timmy played a Shady SOB match of Tic Tac Toe. Using the rule of all cheating is allowed, Timmy covered the board with X's before Neon could make his first move. With three X's in a row, not to mention everywhere else, Timmy retained his championship. But just as he was leaving Neon hit him in the back of the head with a wooden chair, leaving the once gloating champion unconcious.

Behind closed doors Wesley Fong and Bidnessman argued over who was responsible for the loss against the JediPimps, almost coming to blows before Jon Wang seperated them.

Psymon came out to defend his Bastard Championship against the original Bastard, Evil Penguin. Playing a single hand of Blackjack, Evil Penguin got a twelve and stood. Psymon recieved a twelve, took a hit, and bust when he recieved a king. Laughing like a true bastard, Evil Penguin took the Championship plastic toy and ran.

Youtea returned to take on Jon Fung in hopes of becoming the number one contender for the Ownage Championship. They played Quake III Arena, almost always ignoring the bots, prefering to blow each other away over and over and over again. Neither one seemed to gain the upperhand for long. Towards the end Youtea led by two frags, only one away from the thirty needed to win the game. Not waiting for that to happen, Jon Fung ignored the need to kill Youtea, and fragged two bots stuck in a duel with themselves. Now tied, the two competitors searched franticly for any bot, or human opponent, to frag. Youtea came upon one first, but was unable to kill it before Jon Fung came behind him and fragged him.

In a fit of boredom Wabut offered to put up his Ownage Championship against anyone who wanted to try, at any game they could bring. Surprisingly the one to answer this challenge was Jon Wang. His game of choice turned out to be Risk. It wasn't soon before Wabut became even more bored than before he started. Just as Jon was about to take over Europe, a mere thirty minutes after the game had started, Wabut forfeited, leaving Jon Wang the new Ownage Champion.