Life Diary,
People have different struggles. We have a lot in common and differences. We pass and fail the challenges life has given to us and we still are unsure if we are going to pass the future challenges. Things that will make us strong are actually the things that will make us experience storms, cyclones in our lives
These things will make us even wiser. I'm actually too dumb because I'm only looking on the good side while on the other hand, I am not even imagining it because my life would be a total mess. I know I'm too young to be thinking this kind of stupid things but, we can't just wait for that to happen. Sometimes, it's even greater if we keep looking forward even if there's a storm that's waiting for us because life isn't unfair. It's fair enough for us to understand.
After the storm there will be rainbow. After the rainbow there will be also a cyclone waiting for us to come and the same cycle goes. Tears, pain, and sadness will guide us to our life but we always lose something, someone in our lives but then life must go on. We have to keep moving or we'll miss the things that have might been our only chance. Even if we don't want to still we have to keep moving on. Keep moving, and moving, and moving and so on... until he world is no more
One must know our essence, our importance because once we have not know that then, our life will remain as one big question mark, it will remain as a puzzle that needs to be solve and waiting to be solved. And when you solve the puzzle, that's where the journey of your life has started. Our failures and success will start there. The tests will start. The challenges will start. Our tears will start to shed. Our hearts will start to tear up like pieces. But, also happiness, opportunities, and great things will start.
I'm so young yet so stressed. Thinking of my future makes me crazy. Thinkin' what will happen to me after ISED would be a total mess. I'm lazy, I know. I don't deserve things that I know I didn't exert so much effort with. But, I know if I would be wreck, I know Allah(S.W.T.) will guide me. But, first i have to show him how much I deserve his guideness. I must do my best. I know what I'm saying is too messy. I can't even identify what I'm writing. I don't even know what I'm talking about.
Entering my current school is actually one of the great decisions that I have made because I found the real me, I met myself in clearer view. I know I might regret my decision but it makes me happy knowing that in a short period of time people in ISED have known me, met me, or even loved me as one of their family. They teated me so well that it actually makes me cry. Because I know I have to leave my school sooner or later. It's one of the challenges that's waiting for me but, for now I'm to do my best to pass his challenge that I wouldn't hurt the people who are close to me.
Meeting cyclone and storms in ISED is quiet challenging and actually made me a strong one, a better one that realization itself hit me. But unfortunately, the realization that hit me made me even weaker. It made me a stupid one. It made me a monster. Mentally changed as a monster. but behind that monster is the soft side that I should've shown others so that I shouldn't have hurt their feelings. I still want to go back but then i realized it's too late for me to go back where I came from. If only I could go back to where I started so I could change what's in the future, which is actually the present time.
Only if, and then I remembered the Filipino's saying 'nasa huli ang pagsisisi'. It made me realize that all our ancestors have told is all true. It is all based on their experience. Experience that 'young generations' are still going through. Our ancestors are actually guiding us so, we couldn't commit the mistakes they've gone through.
In all of my struggles, I have learned plenty oof lessons that only life can teach. It cannot be learned in school because life itself will teach us. One of the lessons I have learned is that 'Life is the best teacher because it teaches us the most important things in life'. Life teaches us the respect to others, our care for others' dignity. The importance of our lives depends on our self dignity. The journey of our life depends on our own decisions, that will betray and make us strong once again. Life is a road that has many stops. The 'stops' are the uneven ways, where you will experience the traffic in your life,
traffics are the challenges that will make you express your emotions, express how you feel at that moment and being honest on hhow you feel. There are also times where you could get tired from moving forward and continuing your journey 'coz you've lost your energy or your motivation. By that, it will break down your world and it'll wreck you.
But, let us not forget that past is always a part of our present and future. It guides us from our journey, it teaches you how to make decisions, on what you will choose. Ancestors are from the past, people who have reached old generations are the people who guides us. And let us not forget that it doesn't have to be our ancestors for us to be guided beacuse, our experience is enough for us to analyze what choice you will choose.
Past is always going to be our guidance. It is always going to be one of the keys to our freedom. My life has always been messy and useless, it is just like an infinity sign 'coz it's constant. I can never go back and choose the other path instead. i've alreday made a decision. The action has been done, it has been sealed. You can never go back. But, we can make a new path and that's accepting. Accepting what will be your fortune is the key for you stress-free life, key for our freedom and happiness.
Happiness that has always been the twin of sadness and pain. Pain that'll provide for future happiness. Sadness that'll reveal the persons who are real and who cares about you will come.
I have always hope that life would be as easy as happy familieas are. but if I know they also came from what I'm being through. Happiness are only achieved by the people who's been through a lot that deserves freedom and happiness. This life maybe hard but, if you will always give your best and always show that you can do it even if it kills you, will be worth the pain, sacrifices, and the wait.
Waiting is a sign of true love, a sign of braveness. Sacrifices will be reborn as its opposite. And then, life must go on and so on... until the world is no more.