My Wedding Night

 

By

 

ColdDarkMatter

 

Disclaimer:  The characters of Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, and Perdicus are copyright to their owners, not me.  I’m just manipulating them for my own wicked purposes.  As for warnings of graphic sex or violence…get lost if you’re under age.

 

Spoilers: Return of Callisto

 

 

My wedding night.

 

I shudder when I think of those words.  It should have been different.  Not like this—not like it is now. 

 

I turn my head and see him passed out beside me.  We put her in the next room a short while ago.

 

 A cold wave of clarity washes over me as I ponder my predicament.  How did it ever come to this, my wedding to my childhood friend?  I seem to remember fighting, swords clashing, and an admission I’ll never forget.  Who said it?  Him?  Her?  Please, let it be her.  A battle raged around us and hurried words were spoken.  Only in the frigid light of day did I realize what I said, to whom I said it, and what it would mean. 

 

Artemis assures me she won’t remember anything in the morning.  He will have the memory of getting drunk and tripping over his own feet.

 

The look in his eyes told me everything I needed to know.  He wouldn’t let me out of his sight until our wedding day when he happily released me to prepare for the ceremony.  As the women of the village fussed over me all I could think about was her.  Where was she?  Why had I not seen her all day?  Finally, only minutes before I was to enter the temple, did she show up, full of excuses.  I didn’t want her to see how perturbed I was so I simply smiled as we entered the sanctuary proper.

 

As I stand here gazing out the window I hear him in the next room, washing, preparing himself for whatever is to come next.  He had too much to drink during the celebration, but I know it won’t deter him.  I run trembling fingers through my long hair, trying in vain to calm my jittery nerves.  It is useless and I know it.  There is a tree just outside my window and I wonder how easily it would be to jump onto its limbs and…

 

And, what?  Run?  To where?  To her?

 

Let me take the memory away from you…

No, my goddess…I need the memory…I never want to forget.

 

You won’t forget.

 

She must be in the next county by now, happily on her way to her next adventure—one without me.  She avoided me during the festivities after the ceremony, pretending to watch over a drunken Joxer.  Once, when she thought I was distracted, I glanced over to her and what I saw took my breath away.  Her eyes, so stoic at most times, burned in their caverns as she glared at me, her want clear and present.  For the briefest of moments I met her stare, heat for heat, until the reality of it hit her and she physically took her leave of the celebrations.

 

I hear him in the next room, still preparing for whatever this night will come.  He’s humming a tune I’m not familiar with and I find it slightly annoying.

 

As I resign myself to my fate there is a loud noise outside my door, in the hallway.  I open the door slowly and I see her stumble over a pail of water.  She curses and puts a hand on the wall to steady herself.  I can smell the wine clearly, its odor pours off her in waves.  She looks up and tips the wineskin again, downing a good portion of the beverage.

 

“Xena?”

 

“Ah, Gabrielle…just the woman I wanted to see.”

 

She is drunk with wine—and with something else.  I can see it in her eyes.  I look over my shoulder before stepping out into the hallway.  “What is it, Xena?  Are you all right?”

 

“Oh, I will be.”

 

The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.  There is something in her voice that frightens me to the core.  I back away from her and reach the door but she is quick, too quick for me.  She has me pinned to the wall in a fraction of a second.  Her hot breath tickles my neck as she leans down to whisper in my ear.

 

“I was thinking of you, Gabrielle, and that ridiculous ceremony.”

 

“What?”

 

She runs her hands up my arms and I shudder.  She presses her body against mine and I can’t help but moan.  But she is drunk, and I am now married.

 

Why would you want to carry that with you forever…?

 

I need to remember how much I hate…I never want to forget the hatred.

 

I turn my head because I cannot bear to see her eyes.  “Please, Xena, come back in the morning.  We can talk then, okay?”

 

We both hear a sound coming from my room and in an instant she pushes me aside and enters my room.  Before I can even move I hear a crashing sound and I push my way into the room.  Perdicus is lying on the floor, knocked out by a strong fist.  There is blood slowly oozing from the side of his mouth.  I rush over to him and cradle his head.

 

I look up to her in horror.  “What have you done?”

 

She downs the last of the wine and throws the wineskin aside.  “What I should have done when that fool proposed.”

 

I cannot believe what I am hearing, but it is too late.  She should have stopped this farce long ago, before the words were spoken, the vows made.  “What are you saying?  You didn’t want me to marry him?”

 

“Fuck, no!”

 

She reaches me to two strides and pulls me away from my husband, sending me flying to the bed.  She doesn’t move.  She just stares at her hands, looking at them for something I do not know, before finally looking up and pinning me with a hard stare.  She steps over Perdicus and stands at the foot of the bed.  She doesn’t say anything as she unsheathes her sword and throws it on the floor.  Her chakram comes next, then her scabbard and knife.  She takes the bag from her shoulder and tosses it on the bed.

 

I know what is coming.

 

I should have known it the minute I said ‘yes’ to him.  I knew it then and I know it now.  She would never let anyone take what was hers.  Why did I marry Perdicus?  I knew I loved her but thought she didn’t need me the way he did.  He was never shy with his words, they flowed from him freely, their intent clear.  She was never like that, never was.  Sometimes she would drive me crazy with her silences.

 

“Please, Xena…”

 

Her brow rises.  “Please, Xena…please what?”

 

“Don’t do this.”

 

“What am I doing?”

 

“For god’s sake, Xena, you’re drunk!”

 

She casually unhooks her breastplate and lets it drop to the floor.  The last of my hope soon follows when she pulls her battle dress over her head.

Hatred of her?

 

No, not her…never of her—of him…

 

I hop off the bed when she is momentarily distracted.  It is a huge mistake.  She throws her clothes to the floor and then grabs my arm as I try to get past her.  She pulls me hard against her body.

 

“You can’t run from me, little girl!”

 

Her eyes are like burning embers and I cannot look at them.  When I try to look away she grabs my jaw in a vice like grip and forces me to look at her.  There is no compassion there, only an obtrusive fury.

 

Her mouth crashes on mine with such force that I know I’ve chipped a tooth. Her tongue invades my mouth so deeply I want to choke. She transfers her grip to the back of my neck with one hand and with the other she tears at my simple shift, shredding it to nothing.  With it goes my dignity.  I use my hands to try to push her away but I’m nowhere near as strong as she.

 

She pushes me away from her and I land on the bed again.  She is on me in a second; her breasts fall onto mine and my mind screams at me to stop this.  This is not what I want.  I do not want it like this.

 

Then she stops and just looks at me; the way you would look at something for the first time.  She looked at me like she was seeing me for the first time and a small smirk spreads across her face.  She reaches over next to her and pulls something out of the bag and shows it to me.

 

How can you blame him alone; his manipulation only enhanced her inner wickedness.

 

I know…

 

My breath hitches in my throat and my eyes widen.  The phallus is long and thick.  Too long, too thick, I think to myself.

 

“Oh, no…”

 

“Oh, yes…” 

 

She pulls something else from the bag and sits up, straddling my thighs.  “Move and I’ll break your arms.”

 

I believe her and I try not to move.  But my breath is coming is short gasps now as I watch her and my fear grows.  She attaches the rod to a leather harness and it is then that I notice the smaller part, protruding from the other side.  She wraps the leather around her hips and pushes the small end into her moist cavern.  When she parts her thighs to do this the evidence of her arousal is clear.  I see it running down her thigh.  She groans as she pushes it in deeper and I can only whimper in fright.

 

“Please, Xena, its too big…I can’t…oh, gods…”

 

She grabs my arms and pins them to my sides.  She uses her knees to spread my legs far apart and then positions herself at my opening. 

 

“Did you really think I’d let that boy have what was mine?”

 

There is no preamble, no tender words to ease the pain and fear.  In one swift move she enters me and tears past my maidenhood.  I scream at the unbearable pain and humiliation.  But it is no use; my tears only enrage her even more.  She thrusts mercilessly into me.

 

This is not my Xena; this is not the woman I love.  What this beast has done with her I do not know, probably will never know, and I am grieved beyond measure.

 

There will be a reckoning for her. 

 

I know there will be. 

 

I can still take the painful memories away…

 

I don’t want you to.  I will take them and keep them safe…

 

She hooks her arms under my shoulders and presses her full weight down on me.  Then something truly perverse happens.  She slows her movements and looks me directly in the eyes.  I see something there I had not expected, and it almost makes me believe she is making love to me.  She almost has me snared when the smirk returns and her thrusts become uncontrollable.  She is grunting now and I know she is finding her pleasure.  When she lifts on her hands I feel the deep rumbling in her as she throws her head back and screams out her release. 

 

All movement stops and I realize she has passed out.  I am too weak to push her off me and tears burn at my eyes.  It is then that I hear the laughter; it is deep and masculine.

 

“What a sight you make, bard.”

 

I turn my head and see Ares standing there.  His presence tears me to the core.  I find my strength and push Xena off of me and wrap a blanket around me.  “What are you doing here?”

 

“Thought I’d pop in and see my handiwork.”

 

I run shaky fingers through my hair.  “What are you talking about?”

 

“That wine Xena was drinking well, I spiked it with a little something to make her a little more aggressive.  Worked pretty good, don’t ya think?”

 

I feel my rage for the first time that night.  “You bastard, why would you do that?”

 

“Simple really.  Xena wakes up and remembers everything.  She gets so distraught over what she did that she leaves you and well, naturally, comes back to me.”

 

I scream and lunge at him but he is gone.  Only his voice remains like an echo—an unrepentant, hideous laughter.

 

Artemis, please, I need you…

 

I am here, I can take your memory of this away.

 

I need to remember.  But please, undo what Ares did and take hers away…

 

The next day Callisto killed my husband.  She did us both a big favor.  He will never know what really happened that night and I’ll never have to tell him. 

 

Xena was silent for most of that week.  I know she feels guilty that she couldn’t save Perdicus.  I’ll never tell her she couldn’t even save herself.

 

 

 

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