Waffle Issue #2


by Noel Tolentino, 1992


Noel: Give me your name, age, and your favorite pro wrestling star.
Trevor: We're Mr. Bungle, we're 35 years old and ...
Trey: Bob Oster.
Trevor: No, no. Moon Dog Mane. He's old school.

Noel: Why Mr. Bungle? Why not run a bait and tackle store instead?
Trey: Trevor?
Trevor: What? For a name?

Noel: No. Why be in a band?
Trevor: So we could grow long hair. I had a job in a store once and they made me cut my hair, and it really pissed me off. I really wanted to have long hair, so I joined a band.
Theo: Is that why you cut your hair?
Trevor: Yeah, Shakey's Pizza.
Theo: You know, you could get a lot for your hair?
Trevor: Really?
Theo: For the glamour.

Noel: Is everybody from Eureka here?
Trevor: He's from Crescent City and that's just way north.
Trey: It's all the same thing really.

Noel: Isn't Eureka just some hick town?
Trevor: Yeah.

Noel: What do you do there for fun?
Trevor: We stand there between Nazis and hippies.
Trey: Drive around in the back of pickup trucks.
Theo: Hang out in parking lots and such.
Trey: Dive onto a freight train, ride from one hick town to another.
Theo: Get your arm cut off.
Trevor: Hitchhike with a couple hicks.
Trey: You know, timber.
Trevor: Sometimes Dan Hicks plays there.

Noel: Are you into monster trucks and tractor pulls?
Trevor: We're into tractors.
Theo: Anything yellow.
Trevor: We like farm equipment. We're into farm equipment.
Trey: We like power tools, too. We were thinking of making that a side band with power tools.
Trevor: And garages are... we're into garages.

Noel: So is that Travolta project (with Grotus), was that just like a once off thing that you guys did?
Trey: Yeah, it was sorta spur of the moment.
Trevor: The reason we did that Travolta thing is cuz we had Rock Wars after this and we didn't wanna play Rock Wars, so we decided to do a gig.
Trey: We probably would've done better with Lynch Mob, man.
Trevor: Fuck yes.

Noel: What's the weirdest show you've done, the most memorable Bungle show?
Trevor: Uh, Bizarrenival. Eureka High. Danny wasn't there. It was a little carnival at Eureka High School and we played acoustic, like acoustic bass and all that. And we did a Ratt song, "Round and Round," and our trumpet player sang.

(Vlad Drac enters.)

Trey: We're talking about Bizarrenival here.
Vlad: Oh, Bizarrenival! Well, continue. Definitely an event.
Trevor: Well, we will.

(Vlad Drac exits.)

Noel: When was that about?
Trevor: About four years ago. It was in a cafeteria.

Noel: It was a school event?
Trevor: Yeah, it was like a Kids Night or something. It was so great to go back to high school after you're in college, man.
Trey: Go back to your roots. Yeah, Theo likes to go back to college after you're out of college.
Trevor: Yeah, drop out of beauty school, go back to high school.
Trey: Trevor here, after he graduated from college kept going to college.
Trevor: Yeah, man. It was great.

Noel: Wow. You guys started out as this death metal band, so how did you evolve into this carnival type terror?
Trevor: Well, death metal was always kind of a carnival thing to us because up in Humboldt County when you ride the Zipper they play Slayer.
Theo: Cuz "carne" means meat. And meat is death.
Trevor: And death is death metal. The equivalent of death is death metal.
Theo: Remember on the inside of the (?) album: "Death, the heaviest metal of all." [silence and then laughter]

Noel: Okay, if Gary Coleman was in your band, would he play the tamourine or the kazoo?
Theo: You mean the "criminal guy"?
Noel: Yeah, the criminal guy.
Trevor: I think he would be the bass drummer tank.
Danny: He'd be the conductor.
Noel: So why is that?
Trevor: Well, it's kind of a kidney thing.

Noel: How did you hook up with John Zorn?
Trey: Just called him up.
Theo: We gave him a tape.
Trevor: Actually, he came to us.
Danny: Single White Male, mid-30s, seeks six young boys for fun.
Noel: Did you like working with him?
Trey: Yeah, we sorta gave him his start.
Trevor: Yeah, we liked him. He's a nice guy.
Theo: He was a virgin.
Trey: I taught him everything he knows about playing guitars and stuff. I taught him everything really.
Trevor: Major scales, minor scales, all that stuff.
Bar: He doesn't know shit.

Noel: So what are your feelings on Pee Wee Herman and that whole incident?
Trevor: Good timing with our album.
Noel: Do you feel any kinship with that guy?
Trey: Sort of.
Noel: Sort of?
Trevor: Well, you know, we can relate to his situation.
Danny: He kinda left the topic when we were in jail for the same thing so I don't see why we should support his ass.
Bar: That's true.
Danny: What goes around comes around.
Bar: We never got our picture in the paper for going into a porno theatre, that's for sure.
Trevor: Yeah, and we're known for being ... well, you know.

Noel: Weren't you guys just working on a video?
Trevor: Yeah, we just finished a video.
Noel: For which song?
Trevor: For "Travolta," which is now called "Quote Unquote," but on the video it's gonna be called "Barbarino."
Trey: There's gonna be three titles.
Noel: What's with the title change?
Trey: They thought he might sue us.
Trevor: So we decided to change it and --
Noel: So are all these copies right now collector's items?
Theo: They're already worth millions.
Noel: Yeah, that's right.

(All sorts of noise from the Grotus dressing room next door and stranger enters)

Trevor: Hey, opening bands aren't supposed to have any fun.
Stranger: Cheer up.
Trevor: Dammit! Christ, man! Get signed to a major label and nothing fucking changes!

Joey: Any plans to tour?
Noel: A major tour like Monsters of Rock with Van Halen or something like that?
Trey: Oh, yeah. Probably in December and such.
Trevor: We're probably gonna get all of our touring out of the way for our ... see we have a 7-up deal so we're going to do all the touring at once. We're gonna tour for like five years straight and then never tour again.

Noel: So what are some safety tips you have for the kids?
Trevor: For the kids?
Bar: Don't take acid.
Trevor: How about "don't take strichnyne".
Theo: Make sure when you're hanging yourself to achieve a better orgasm to make the noose be able to fall off the beam or else you'll end up like our good friend.
Trevor: And that thing about wearing mom's underwear, don't even bother, you know.
Danny: It's not worth it.
Bar: It's too fucking embarrassing.
Danny: You're blowing it if you don't floss.
Trevor: Totally blowing it if you don't floss.
Danny: Big time.
Trevor: Because you can get gingevitism, er, gingevitis. Genghis Khan.
(Klingon-looking member of Grotus interrupts briefly)
Trevor: Sorry, little kids? Floss. Definitely floss.

Noel: Do you guys write your songs as a whole group?
Trevor: We actually write them one minute at a time.
Trey: One minute per month.
Trevor: Actually, three songs, we do it so fast and so well that each song is actually hundreds of segments, broken into seconds, like twenty, thirty seconds.
Trey: Then there's those little micro seconds that no one else hears except us.

Noel: What's the stupidest thing you would do for publicity? Or have done?
Theo: We'd start punching cops.
Trevor: Theo's a smart ass. You can't get a straight answer from that guy. Have we ever done anything stupid? I don't think so.
Danny: Are you trying to say we're stupid? You know, this interview could end real quick if you keep implying that we're dumbshits. (laughs)

Joey: What's your favorite form of pornography?
Theo: Live.
Trevor: Bondage.
Trey: Something where people are getting hurt.
Trevor: To the point where it's not about sex anymore.
Trey: Where it's about pain, not like pain-pleasure but pain-pain.

Noel: Any 70s TV shows that rub off on your music?
Trevor: Commercials. Tide commercials.
Theo: Zoom!
Danny: That was a cool show!
Trevor: I'd say detergent commercials probably gave me the most, you know...
Danny: Cheer.

Noel: So how did all the Halloween masks and all that come about? Was it there from the beginning?
Trevor: Actually a better question would be how did the band become incorporated into the whole Halloween mask thing?
Noel: Okay, how did the band become incorporated into the whole Halloween mask thing?
Trevor: Well, it got pretty shitty just standing there onstage for an hour with a mask on. So...
Bar: It's easy to hide behind masks.

(Grotus vocalist Lars Fox makes a grand entrance.)

Trevor: What's the name of your band again?
Lars: GROTUS, GROTUS, GROTUS, GROTUS.
Trevor: Really?
Danny: Where are you playing soon?
Lars: Slim's. With you.
Danny: Do you guys have an album coming out or anything?
Lars: Yes! Album in October.
Trevor: What are you influences?
Lars: Uh, Black & Decker power tools and...
Trey: That was funny, we said that too.
(Lars exits.)

Joey: What's your favorite Operation Desert Storm t-shirt?
Trevor: We don't got no t-shirts. We just have playing cards.
Trey: He's got quite a collection going.
Trevor: No I don't. Danny collects a lot of bullshit.
Trey: A lot of garbage he can't be proud of.
Trevor: Nothing that has to do with war though.
Danny: I have a lot of books.
Trevor: You've done a lot of books?
Danny: I think if we all read a little bit more, we'd probably be a heavy political band.

Noel: So is there like an inside joke in your music?
Trevor: It's one inside joke. It's all connected to one fundamental ...
Trey: I don't think we've ever played outside so all jokes would have to be inside jokes. I don't know, what are we gonna do when we start to play the US festival?
Trevor: Us?
Bar: I think there might be some inside joke going on but I don't think we'd ever...
Trevor: It's like humor without the laugh.

(the notorious Yeesus Krist makes an entrance talking business with the crew.)
Kristin: Can you finish up in like two minutes?
Noel: Yeah.
(Kristin exits.)
Trevor: She's a total hard-ass. And the answer is yes, we have.

Noel: What's your advice to future rock n' roll bands that want to be just like you?
Trevor: Kill yourself.
Trey: [in meathead voice] "Keep practicing, man, you know! Gotta have the right equipment."
Trevor: Talk about two-handed technique, three-handed technique.
Trey: [in old scruffy hick voice] "Goddamn rock stars! Fucking turn your hair blue and make a million fucking dollars!"
Trevor: Start growing your hair *now*!
Trey: "I put in a goddamn 14 hour day every day! You fucking goddamn play your guitar and twisting your finger and goddamn you're on welfare!"
Theo: Read the book.


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