"Body Piercing - Jesus Christ! He Was Pierced For Us All"

"Dusty Bibles Lead to Dirty Lives"

[Seen right after the legalization of same sex marriage and approval from the PM] "Is The Prime Minister's Soul in Jeopardy?" (This was at a United church, which was a sect I thought was a major supporter of gay rights...what's the deal here?)

"Kindness is Simply Loving People More Than They Deserve" (Ouch)

"Big Bang Theory: God Spoke and -Bang- It Happened" (Actually does seem to suit the name - but then what would we call the astronomy theory?)

"Stop Drop and Roll Will Not Work in Hell"

"Friends Don't Let Friends Burn in Hell" (These two were both outside of the same Baptist church. Both really pissed me off. Then the week after this last one...)

"Community Supper: All Welcome" (I'd be too scared to even go on the property!!!)

"Are You Afraid of Jesus?" (Is it good to be? Is it bad to? I'm confused. o_0)

"You Never Get a Busy Signal on Heaven's Line"

"Do You Know The Most Godless Book in the Bible?" (I'm guessing this is some know-your-bible trivia..? If you know the answer, email me and I'll put it up here.)

"Christmas Bizarre" ("Bizarre"ly, this typo was on only one side of one marquee on the property. The other side of this sign and both sides of the second sign had the correct spelling of "Bazaar." I'm sure there's a story behind this one.)

"This Church is Prayer Conditioned" (They all say this at least once every summer.)

"Sign Broken, Come Inside For Message" (I actually liked this one a lot.)

[On a permanent sign in a parking lot] "Prepare To Meet Thy God" (See what happens when the municipality doesn't fill in potholes?)

"Exposure To The Son May Prevent Burning" (May?)

"Keep Your Face Towards The Son" (Same church again.)

"We Are All Invited To A Heavenly Feast But We Must RSVP"

"What If You Don't Believe In Me And You're Wrong? - God" (Because obviously God wrote this sign, rather than people who put words in His mouth.)

"Turn or Burn"

"God Answers Knee Mail"

"Come To Church And Get A Faith Lift" (Groaner)

"Are We Sheep?"

"Are We Servants?"

[At Thanksgiving:] "If You Pause To Think You Will Have Cause To Thank" (This works as a secular message as well.)

"Service Of Hymns - Bonus No Service" (I thought this was hilarious. "All right, we won't have to hear a sermon!" Lol)