*Warning* HUGE spoilers dwell here. It's a continuation, what did you expect? ***************************************** The Vision of Escaflowne: A Return to Gaea ***************************************** Part One-- The Boy King And thou were sad- yet I was not with thee; And thou wert sick, and yet I was not near; Methought that joy and health alone could be Where I was *not*- and pain and sorrow here! It is not in the storm nor in the strife We feel benumb'd, and wish to be no more, But in the after-silence on the shore, When all is lost, except a little life. Lord Byron **** Sometimes on late summer mornings a pale ghost of the Mystic Moon still hangs visible in the sky, above the sun. Folk wisdom, whose truth is taken lightly because it is merely practical, warns that these morning-moons promise a hot sticky day, and the people of Fanelia spent their mornings slowly and indoors, practicing a sort of forced leisure to avoid the worst of the heat. On days like this it was unfortunate to live in the Fanelien Valley where there was no shelter from the sun and it beat down without distraction. It was better to live in High Fanelia which used to be a forest and still kept hints of woodland cool. In the old days, when the kingdom had fit snugly in the valley alone, there was no high Fanelia. Now, after the war, after Fanelia had been rebuilt into a kingdom where-- everyone's neighbor swore -- wheat was gold and vinu ran in the streets, people had poured into Fanelia until they had overflowed into the neutral territory bordering the central city. Fanelia was the kingdom of wonders, and people came for the wealth, for the tranquility and, although many might not have seen it as their reason, because Fanelia was Van-sama's kingdom. It was Van-sama, after all, who had streaked across the sky like a falcon those five years ago, so intent on something outside himself on a day of inexplicable, controlling greed so gruesome many of the survivors chose to die rather than live with the memory of it, those passionate, blinded soldiers looked up as one, knew they were witnessing something holy and dropped their swords. It was Van-sama who ended Dornkirk's power although no one knew exactly how and that secret would follow Van to the grave. Van remained painstakingly careful to give credit to those he fought beside, claiming their victories were of far greater significance than his own, but people, desperately needing a hero, clung to the idea that Van was the sole bringer of this fledgling peace. Van-sama was the only one they were willing to listen to. And so it was Van-sama who told them in simple, reasonable words about ideas so sweet and hopeful they glowed like honey. He spoke of his martyred brother and Dornkirk and their ideals of peace and utter contentment. Peace should be striven for, he said, and Dornkirk's trying in itself was admirable although the methods he used were wrong, but this was not a war started by one lone madman. He described Gaea as a tapestry and people were the threads, and tapestries, everyone knows, can only be made by weaving. You could not fight with a neighbor or hang an innocent and then beg your king for peace. Looking down from the sky, there were no boundaries, only rivers that flowed through town after town, twining and interconnecting, providing everyone with the same water. Van told them true peace was not a result of war or domination or fear of fighting back but when people let go of their dragons in order to hold each other. And the tired, hungry crowds-- crowds made of entire nations-- could see both the work needed and the brilliant result of that work, and they cheered Van and the new age they would help him bring. It was Van-sama who rose Fanelia from its ashes in just a year and a half, digging foundations and welding plumbing himself as often as not. It was Van-sama who traveled around Gaea to ask the wise men about their theories on human nature and industrial improvement and combined and revised their ideas before making them law. It was Van-sama who negotiated the peace treaty with Zaibach, keeping its borders and most of its previous wealth intact, because he claimed petty grudges did not produce harmony. It was Van-sama who organized the nine-kingdom alliance, arguing for equal rights for each with conviction that resembled rage in its urgency. Van had been an eager and inexperienced boy king of what was then a small country. He had grown into himself a little since the war but most of his development had gone toward his eyes and hair years ago, and he would never be a very tall or physically imposing presence. They used to say he was short of everything except delusions. Such a person should never have won the respect and loyalty of old, settled kings like Aston. Van was such a novelty, his complete lack of pretense, proper etiquette or self-regard so astonishing, that the fat, established kings, worn and somber from the war, allowed him to bully and badger them into compliance simply to humor the lad before realizing that many of his ideas worked. Now when there was a dispute over trade or the peasants seem ready to revolt, kings traveled to Fanelia to ask Van for guidance. Van would never be imposing; he had no need to be. The king of Fanelia was known to be a worrisomely thin, wild-haired boy with ancient eyes and a tender, infrequent smile; handsome in the careless, windswept way some people who don't bother with such things are. Van was quiet upon first acquaintance. Most people saw it as the unobtrusive, trusting quiet of the inherently kind, but those who knew such things recognized in him the focused calm of all good soldiers. Van was both the source and the symbol of this exciting new era of peace and contentment and he was adored violently, protectively, reverently. So if Van-sama chose to spend a few morning hours of this hot, irritable day lying on the palace roof, staring at the remaining hint of the Mystic Moon and clutching the pendant he always wore but never explained, no Fanelian would begrudge him the time. He saw a page running through the courtyard below out of the corner of his eye, searching frantically for-- Van could assume-- him. The page was probably only six months at court and it had been a few years since he snuck onto the roof regularly. If he could have had his way Van would have spent those first few excruciating months as an owlish, brooding gargoyle, eyes raised eternally upwards. Merle-- kind, ever practical Merle-- had reasoned and prodded and occasionally downright nagged him into activity. Of course, if he ever had any hope of having his way, Van would have... He jumped down and landed before the page in a bent kneed crouch before finishing the thought. The page, unused to falling monarchs, took a few stuttering paces back before steadying himself, unrolling a parchment and reading in a clear, rehearsed voice with only a slight tremor, "Van-sama, Perione-sama requests your presence in the study to discuss matters of vital importance." "Which ones?" The page looked up. "Van-sama?" "The vitally important matters," Van elaborated, hoping he sounded patient. "Did he tell you what they were?" The page scanned the paper desperately. "It... doesn't say, Van-sama." Van sighed, making sure the page didn't hear it. "Thank you. Tell him I'm coming." The page nodded and sprang off in the opposite direction, tripping over his legs in his haste. Van darkly suspected that giving him a message or bringing him a drink for the first time was considered a right of passage among the pages. The squires certainly kept yearly tallies of who he complemented the most. Being respected to the point of idolatry by his future Samurai like this was dangerous. The loyalty essential between a leader and his soldiers was not a matter of awe. A man could only wave a name before him like a flag and crusade out of faith that a person is a cause ephemerally. True loyalty, loyalty which men died for, was a comfortable thing. It was when a man saw his superior as a person, but as a person he understood and trusted and admired. Van resolved to talk to the pages more, let them see he wasn't a walking myth themselves. Decision firmly in mind, he wiped the sweat off his forehead and rang it out of his shirt before he went to speak with Perione. Any leader worth his salt had an advisor like Perione, who could only sleep three hours a night tortured as he was by unceasing anxiety over the two percent drop in grain production or a ten-member gang of thieves who had raided three hen-houses already. Being near someone obsessed with minutiae was a key element of keeping perspective. Even Van who, out of deep-seated suspicion of people who would choose a career telling other people what to think, had only three advisors, three of whom who had known him since birth, kept Perione around. He had grown fond of him in a patient, condescending sort of way. The page was reporting to Perione when Van walked in the door, then scurried to the corner when he saw him. The study, which Van vastly preferred to the great hall, was large and brown and full of comforting nooks where a small boy could hide. Van had spent countless hours in there playing hide-and-catch-can as a child. Perione bowed deeply, sagging with relief. "Van-sama, thank you for coming at once. This really is most urgent." "Uhuh." Van sat down at the table, his arms behind his head. "Well-- this is just first, it isn't really the important thing-- this heat is supposed to last at least three more weeks." "I'd hate to think what a thunderstorm would be classified as if that was the important thing." "Yes, Van-sama," Perione said politely, humoring him. "The king of Basram's had his first grandchild two weeks ago, and you still haven't written him a letter of congratulations. It would be very rude not to take care of this i--" "Is something wrong with the mail?" Van interrupted as a memory sparked in his brain. "It's been at least a week since I've gotten a letter from Merle." Perione's lips thinned. "That is... unfortunate, Van-sama, but to get back to the matter at hand--" "Ano . . . " said the page cautiously, looking up from a pile of paper across the room. Van swivelled around in the chair. "Yes?" "Would... Merle..." The page faltered, withering under Van's intently serious eyes. "Is Merle... is she--" He stopped again. "Just spit it out, boy," Perione snapped. Van looked at him sternly from the corner of his eye, brows raised, before lacing his fingers under his chin and refocusing on the page. "I'm sorry that Perione was so rude. Is Merle the sort of person who would what?" "Would Merle send a pink letter and use a seal with a paw-print on it?" the boy got out in a rush, holding up a cheerful piece of paper retrieved from the drifts of documents floating around the room. Van reached for the envelope, its bright delicate colors contrasting with his coarse, faintly scarred hands. "She's exactly that kind of person. How did you know where to look?" Uncertain how he was supposed to act, the page safely stared down at the floor. "I'm just good at finding things, Van-sama." "That's a very useful talent to have." The page looked up with an excited little gasp, and Van nodded affirmation. The boy's grin was a thing of rainbows. "You've done me a great service and I thank you very much. What's your name?" "Lewilren," Lewilren said, lost in wonder. He added impetuously. "Lewilren Yarda. I came from the west end of Fanelian Valley and I've been at court for four months. Most people call me Ren." Van bowed on one knee before him with deliberate ceremony. "Thank you again, Ren de Fanelian Valley. If you have no pressing duties, you can spend the rest of the day at the water butt. It's the best place to go on hot days if I remember right." Ren nodded, mute as some children are in the throes of excitement, before dashing out of the room. Van stood up immediately, facing Perione, his face drawn in fierce, thin calm. "To even put this with the rest of the paper--" "I'm sorry, Van-sama," Perione said miserably. "Don't interrupt me," Van nearly growled. "To put this with the unimportant papers... You obey me unless it means being kind to beastmen?" "I don't know who is responsible," Perione said, knowing 'you' was a collective term for society in general. "But I will find out quickly..." "Yes, you will," Van snapped. He sat back down, cradling his forehead in his palm. "Unimportant..." he said as if to himself, mournfully tired. Perione bowed his head, painfully unsure of what to say. Instinctively, he wanted to offer comfort but he knew it wouldn't be appreciated if even acknowledged. He couldn't ease the unnatural, debilitating, vitally necessary responsibilities on this boy-who-wasn't-a- boy. And then Van looked up as if startled by a strange, private noise. He leaned back in the unbending wooden chair and tilted his head slightly like he was listening to something, smiling a small, alien smile and staring unfocused at some lovely spot in infinity. Van looked peaceful, not just trapped in his normal iron-focused calm. He turned back to Perione and shook his head softly, still far away. "No, its all right. She'll always understand if I give her an explanation and you had nothing to do with it anyway. Just if it happens again have it looked into. If there's nothing else to say, you can go... I mean, you're dismissed." Those very close to Van were familiar with his habit of gazing off at the far walls of the room, usually when he was upset or angry although sometimes just at random, and losing himself in some personal, hazy fulfillment. There had been a few small meetings of which Van would never be made aware about this momentary disorientation. The spells had started shortly after the war, and it had been decided that they stemmed from mild post-traumatic syndrome and that they weren't worth the worry. Van was proving himself to be a more than competent ruler and it could threaten the entire system of monarchy in Fanelia if, at that delicate point in history, the king was thought to be insane or simple or both. Besides, royalty was known for its eccentricities and Van's was quite innocuous compared to some. Perione was among the perhaps five people in all of Gaea to have seen these spells and even he thought they were fairly mundane. He stood quiet and still until Van focused on him again when he said. "Van-sama, I haven't gotten to the important news yet." "What is it? I think that's the sixth time I've asked that and don't make me do it again." Perione puffed himself up with the pride of being responsible for good tidings. "The pending prince of Asturia and his sister will arrive at Fanelia tomorrow afternoon!" Van stared hard, opened his mouth, thought better of what he planned to say and closed it again, then took a long, deep breath. "Perione. Remember our discussions about telling me _very_ important news as soon as possible after you hear it yourself?" "Yes, Van-sama. Next time I'll be sure to tell you right away." They both knew it was a hopeless cause. Perione was a good advisor, had become an advisor, because he found all knowledge about the inner mechanics of things infinitely fascinating. He collected it like a magpie collects trash, not for its inherent worth but for the shine and could not conceive how Van differentiated between important and trivial information. "They're coming tomorrow," Van thought aloud. "When did you find out about this?" "Just a few hours ago, Van-sama." Van sank back in his chair and folded his arms, thinking out loud. "They must be taking the Crusade then. Whatever they're coming about must be fairly urgent if they need to get here this soon." "But it will still be nice to see Alan-san and Celena-san, in any case, right?" Perione asked hopefully. "Yeah," Van blinked, counting back the months. "I haven't seen them in a while. Have a banquet prepared for dinner tomorrow. No, banquet's not the right word, is it? Just make sure there's lots of food." "Of course, Van-sama." "Oh," Van sat up slightly. "And make sure there are lots of vegetables. As many vegetables as possible." Perione looked confused. "I was led to understand that Celena- san is allergic to most vegetables." Van smirked. "She is. She turns bright red and her face puffs up. Especially green ones. Make sure there are lots of those." Perione looked down the length of his nose, disapproving but hesitant to show it in front of authority. "It's only teasing," Van said defensively when he noticed. "Celena'll think it's funny and if she doesn't she'll get revenge somehow and then we'll both forget about it." Perione paused, debating something internally for a moment before he next spoke. "You... enjoy Celena-san's company, do you not?" Van, who had considered the morning report over and moved on to a little paperwork, trying to savor a little indoor-cool before the day really began, didn't bother looking up. "You would know if I didn't." "That's true," Perione conceded. "She is an attractive woman, isn't she?" "She's a Shezar," Van pointed out as if it was a full explanation, which in many ways it was. "Yes. They are quite an influential family in Asturia, especially with the upcoming marriage. Your... friendship is quite... symbolic, don't you agree?" Van flicked his gaze upwards and said, not unkindly, "Do you plan to get to the point anytime soon?" "Well, Van-sama," Perione steeled himself, as if expecting to get kicked. "It's only that you _will_ need an heir eventually and Fanelia would like a queen, especially someone as genteel and attractive as Celena-san..." Van looked at him in with complete incomprehension as if he didn't understand the language. Then, his eyes widening almost imperceptibly in understanding, he put down his quill carefully, blinked and acted genuinely amused for the first time in at least six months. "Marry _Celena_!" he crowed, shoulders shaking with silent laughter. It was always silent laughter and no tears of any kind. "I'm sorry, Perione," he said with a little closure sigh. "But the day Celena and I agree to marry each other will be the day... well, there won't be one. We're not... like that." Perione, personally wounded by most laughter, drew himself up with full dignity and said with more candor than he originally intended, "Still, Van-sama, Fanelia needs an heir and you are in the... full bloom of your youth, so to speak, and the kingdom is under control and prospering. It is a good time to start thinking of marriage." "I have at least twenty years to produce an heir," Van said, clear and cold. His shoulders were knotted and his hand crept up to hold his pendant tightly, to keep it secure. "Ye-es," Perione agreed cautiously. "But, it's always best to plan ahead and if something were to happen to you--" "I don't want to discuss it." Van was angry; a red irrational anger, which after developing the emotionlessness of good negotiating with the reluctant but dogged determination he showed as a child learning how to improve his fighting by channeling his anger, surprised them both. "If you have nothing left to say, you should leave." Perione, strangely and perhaps showing the depth of his convictions, stayed. "It is unlike you to be this selfish, Van-sama." Van stood halfway out of his seat, slamming down a hand on the table and clutching his pendent so tightly the other had turned white and now was slowly turning red. "I'm not being selfish! How can you dare accuse me of being selfish!" His face was contorted, almost snarling. Perione had known the king only after Fanelia had been mostly repaired. This was the first time he could believe Van was as capable of destroying as he was of creating; that Van was someone deserving of fear. Van put his hands on the table, resting his weight on it and bowing his head until its only visible feature was the all-defining blackness of his hair. "I'm not being selfish," he repeated, calmer now, but thick with sorrow. "You just don't understand. You can't understand how selfish I'm not being. If you don't leave this room now without another word, I'll exile you." They both knew Perione was incapable of calling a bluff, but he stayed for a fraction of a second to watch his king with the horrified fascination usually reserved airship accidents. "I'll cut off your legs," Van added, voice dead. "Myself." Perione left. Van focused on breathing deliberately and deeply for over a minute before he felt in control of himself. He had forgotten how easy it was to be cruel, how exacting it was to show kindness to the undeserving. The memory was too painful to keep. Did Dornkirk begin with an honest wish to help everyone before his sympathy dwindled to those he thought appreciated it and then only to those he could control? He hadn't meant to yell. He didn't quite understand what he had been yelling about but there was a small hard core of resentment at things denied in his speech. It embarrassed him. Hitomi thought they were making sacrifices and that Van was making acute ones, by the measure of his exhaustion and his loneliness. He sat back down, fingering the pendant lightly, accepting solace and offering the same to a person he always felt but never touched. ***** If spring sings of rebirth, summer is a melody bright with second chances. The next day Van had written a formal letter of apology to Perione, who had accepted, before waiting in an empty field just outside of Fanelia, scanning the sky for an airship. He brought a few retainers and his sword to maintain the degree of ceremony needed to keep Allen from being insulted but he was relaxed, expecting friends and not diplomats. The airship, nimble and elegant as Van remembered, skimmed over the mountain range and landed delicately in the airfield shortly after midday. The hatch opened with a small hiss of steam, and Allen appeared in full, formal uniform, hair gleaming with sun and floating behind him like a separate being as he knelt at Van's feet before rising and taking the king's hand in both of his own. Allen's smile was as potent as always, the rest of the world faded into a background of its warmth, and his voice was still rich and gentle. "It's a pleasure to see you again, Van." Van tried to smile back as they shook hands, knowing how flat it was in comparison. Since the war-- since the last day of the war, really --Allen had been nothing if not kind and uunderstanding and eager to help with any task he could, and there was no greater proof he hadn't forgiven Van yet. Allen still respected him, even liked him, but the knowledge of what they could do to each other when their inhibitions melted was always strung taunt between them. Still this was Allen, a man who had accepted him immediately, fought by his side, saved his life, even betrayed his country for Van's cause. Van trusted him implicitly. "It's been a long time," he said. "Too long, but you're always so busy..." "Still, you can always consider yourself welcome in Fanelia. How's the wedding coming?" Before Allen could go into an extended account of guests and choosing priests and caterers with the enthusiasm of most engaged couples and newborn parents, who believed the world found the newness in their lives as fascinating as they did, a lyrical whine threaded its way out of the airship. "Gade-eth, they're not even doing anything formal I would get it in the way of, which is a very insulting suggestion in itself, I'll have you know, and Allen's going to regale him with _wedding_ stories. You can't dislike Van enough to do something like that to him." "Well, Celena..." "Please? Don't force me to stomp on your feet, Gadeth, neither of us would enjoy it." Allen rubbed his temples lightly, his strain only evident to those who knew him well. The hatch opened again, suddenly and with a pop, and a blur of white and blue and grey bolted out before Gadeth had time to close it. Celena, in small white slippers and a grey and white lace-trimmed dress, her hair tied back with a dawn-blue ribbon, yanked up her skirt as much as was seemly, nearly tripped over herself on the small steps and dashed across the field to give Van a quick, tight hug. "Thank goodness," she said with composure, releasing him. "I thought Gadeth was never going to let me off that thing. Sorry about that, Gadeth," she called over her shoulder, to be answered by a vague, amused snort from the airship. "Hi, Celena. You missed me?" Van asked dryly. "Did I miss you?" She clasped her hands over her heart, swooning a few steps backwards. "Oh, my darling Van, since we last spoke I could only think of your sweet face, your eyes, your voice, your, um, unkempt, silly-looking spiky hair." Van took her hand in his own, staring deeply into her blue-glass eyes. "And I could only think of your smile and your loud, obnoxious mouth." Celena sighed, turning away suddenly. "Roses had lost their sweetness for me, the sky had no luster, the stars had no sheen..." "The moon was just a big flat white circular... thing... in the sky. Yes, I know that despair," Van finished. Celena collapsed into laughter while her brother sighed laboriously behind her. "I win," Van said, placid but smug. She turned around with a little stomp of her foot, trying to raise some indignation. "One of these days I _will_ outlast you, Van Fanel." She smiled her brother's sweet smile but without his awareness of its charm, straightening Van's shirt with absentminded concern."How have you been?" Van shrugged. "All right." Celena looked up at him skeptically but didn't dispute the claim, although Van knew she would probably bully him into details when they were alone. He couldn't remember when they had settled into an uncomfortable truce in favor of completely ignoring each other's existence, or when that truce had bloomed into a genuine and valued friendship. He was only supremely grateful that it had. Celena was the one person who treated him playfully, one of the few who had ever tried. Hitomi would have if he had let her, if he could have recognized whimsy as a form of kindness back then. Celena must have seen him looking lost and firmly pinched his arm. "Oi, Van, snap out of it. You've got diplomatic visitors and we might declare war if you ignore us." "Are you two quite finished yet?" Allen asked testily. "If I must remind you, Celena-chan, we came for an actual diplomatic visit, not just to make inane conversation." Celena rolled her delicate eyes, privately mouthing, 'hair troubles.' For someone who looked like a porcelain model of herself, she had a very odd mind. She didn't have Dilandau's twisted, uncontrolled malice, nothing like that. Celena was just intelligent and not afraid to point out when other people were not. She approved of Van's direct bite and focus and he of hers. "Did anyone say anything amusing?" Allen asked, correctly suspicious of their snickering. Celena waved her hand in a broad, vaguely reassuring gesture before linking her arms in each of theirs as they started walking toward Fanelia. "Oh, nothing at all, Allen darling, nothing at all." "So this is a diplomatic mission then, Allen?" Van asked over her head. Allen only shook his head. "There's a time and a place for everything, Van. We'll talk after dinner." Van was strangely torn between relief and annoyance that Allen refused to take his request as unquestionable command. "Is there a carriage or something coming to pick us up?" Celena asked abruptly. "No." Van squinted at her. "We walked up here. I expected you two wouldn't mind walking down." "Van," Allen said, gently reproving as if to a small child. "You must remember that Celena is not as strong as we are. She is too frail to make such a hike comfortably." "Yes," Celena agreed solemnly. "Very frail. Unable to take a good twenty paces without fainting. Weak as something very, very weak." "You're overdoing it," Van told her under his breath. She shrugged, whispering, "Oniisama... sometimes he's, well... purposefully dense. I think he believes that I really need that kind of coddling" "In case I must remind you, Celena-chan," Allen said, admirably unruffled. "You did fall down the stairs three weeks ago and stayed unconscious for a good hour and a half. That's not a sign of physical prowess." "You fell down the stairs?" Van asked, concerned. Celena, cursed with honest, pale skin, blushed crimson but didn't say anything. "Maybe we should call a carriage," Van decided, calling over an attendant. While he was so occupied, Celena stamped her foot and glared at her brother. "I asked you to keep that a secret!" Allen fingered a section of her hair, his face a mask of tender worry. "I won't hide it if you need help. I promised you, Celena--" "That you would take care of me," she finished for him. "And you have and I love you dearly, but I'm not a child, Oniisama." "Then stop crying to me every time Van teases you," Allen said mildly, walking toward the carriage. ***** Allen and Celena had been shown to their rooms without incident and Allen currently was supervising the unpacking of their things. From the brief glimpse he had, they didn't bring much clothing, which concerned Van on several levels. Morally exempt from real work by the obligation to entertain guests, he took Celena on a tour of the garden which she could navigate perfectly well herself, by now. She sat on a swing, talking to Van, who leaned against the tree it was attached to. "So, how are you really? I warn you, if you tell me you're alright again I'll blackmail you in someway. You've never just been alright in your life." That felt true although, like many things Celena said, it was a muddy, niggling piece of honesty. "Tired," Van admitted, hiding his eyes under his bangs. "Really tired." Celena knew the rivers of Van's mind and she heard the shame deep in that answer. "Of course you're tired. You work harder than anyone I've ever met." Van shrugged. "Not really. You get used to what you always have to do and that's alright, but then new things are always coming." "What new things?" "You Shezars, for one thing," Van sat down, crossing his legs. "Do you know what Allen's worried about enough to come to me?" She shook her head. "No. He asked if I wanted to come see you, but he wouldn't tell me why he wanted to go in the first place, no matter how much I asked. I couldn't even get it out of Eries. He must have told her not to say anything." She scowled. "The dork." "He looks tired." "He is. The wedding preparations are pretty stressful. Marrying a princess takes work." Van looked at her. "That's right. You'll be the king's sister. Will they make you a duchess or something?" Celena laughed. "Can you imagine? It would be hilarious. I think they actually might since Oniisama's been hinting about my marriage offers getting a boost." "They _need_ a boost?" Van asked incredulously. "Haven't you have six or something?" "Eleven," she corrected. "Since the last time we've met." Celena kicked the loose dirt off the ground. "They were all gits. I know Allen's a little annoyed that I'm not happily settled yet, but I _won't_ marry any man who would wear tights." "You know, Perione actually suggested _we_ should get married," Van said, not really minding that a source of rage had trickled into an anecdote. Celena stopped swinging. "Me marry... you?" "Yup." "That's... that's...," she wrinkled her nose, trying to think of an apt description. "I really want to say sickeningly wrong, but I don't want to offend you." "It's okay. That was pretty much what I said." "I mean, you're a prime catch and everything but you're... Van." "I know what you mean." "Besides," she added, starting the swing again. "You're too skinny for me." Van leaned his head back, face to the sun. "He does have a point, though." She stopped again. "Oh?" Van toyed with his pendant absently. "Fanelia needs an heir who's old enough to rule when I die. I don't want him to go through... It would be better if he was ready to take the throne when the time came." Celena looked down at him, the loose stands of hair which had escaped her ponytail framing her face. "Well..." she said finally, cautiously. "You could get married if you really needed to." He didn't answer, just stared at the ground, a portrait in repose. Allen had told her that Van used to... shut down like this often when they first met. He wouldn't move, wouldn't speak for sometimes hours, face dark and struggling to keep itself blank. Allen had said it was understandable, considering how his high sense of duty must have scorned anguish, that Van would only allow himself to mourn silently and efficiently. But he shouldn't need to do this now, long after everything had been set right. He had won. Van had won so much more than anyone thought he was capable of and he had kept winning long after everyone else forgot there were things left to be achieved. He should be happy now. But a great gain is not necessarily the whole gain or even the gain truly desired. Van's eyes were screwed up tightly, his fists clenched. His position could be mistaken for one of prayer. Celena couldn't bear this stoicism. "I'm sorry," she tried gently. "I'm... so sorry she was taken away from you." "She wasn't taken," Van said. His position hadn't changed so Celena could not see his mouth and his voice sounded disembodied. A graveyard voice. "She... We decided she should leave. I _helped_ her leave. She had too much influence on Gaea and I think... she was worried that I wanted to protect her too much. I didn't just know any other way to show... I was so _stupid_." Celena sat beside him, putting a gentle hand on his arm. "You were a kid. You only did what you had to do." Van looked up at her then and his face was terrible because it was not crying. He stared down at his knees drawn to his chest. Van looked so tired. It wasn't exhaustion or anything physical. Van had won and he knew he had won and now he wanted an end. "We thought it would be alright," he said, although he wasn't talking to Celena or to even whatever part of Hitomi he communicated with. "We knew it would be hard to be apart after we had just really found each other but we thought we would be able to... I guess we thought we would be able to actually talk or see each other, but I didn't know what it would feel like to be constantly reminded of her and not able to be near her, really. I can feel her. I know if she's sad or happy or lonely but I don't know why. I can't... see." "I thought you said she... comforted you or gave you advice... or something." Celena felt horrible for asking, for even wanting to know. But it seemed to help in some small way, as Van collected himself to think of an answer. "She's better at it that me. She knows more." "Is... is she... helping you now?" Van shook his head. "She wants to, but I made her sad. I shouldn't make her sad. She doesn't know what to do either about an heir and she doesn't really want to think about... the details involved. It's stuck." "You could always adopt." Van stared at her. She stared back, expression smoothed blank. Van smiled, a weak, wry little thing, but Celena could count the times she had seen Van smile with real joy on one hand. Resting his forehead on his knee, he said, "I think Hitomi's a little jealous now. She's denying it. Yes, she's definitely jealous. But she hopes I'll tell you it's not in a romantic way, she just wishes she could be in your place to cheer me instead." "It seems to me you guys can communicate pretty well." Van stared off, fixated on something in the nothingness. "It's not that clear, usually." They stayed like that, side by side and unmoving, until Van finally sat up poker straight. "I'm... Celena, you shouldn't have to listen to me..." "Yes, I should. I'm your friend. And I know about two people in one body as much as anyone can." She trailed off in a bare whisper. Van's expression turned stony. "You're not who he was," he insisted obstinately. "I still dream about him sometimes," she confessed. They never talked about this. Dilandau's was a death never mourned. Still, it seemed to be a day of revelations, and the little hot white bubbles of someone else's memory threatened to drive her mad. "About what he did and how horrifying it was and how he felt... he was miserable. He craved perfection and the only true perfection was in that destruction... but sometimes it felt so awful too... and he despised what he was, really, deep down." Van's eyes were flat. "You can't expect me to forgive him." Celena shook her head. "I'm not asking you to forgive him, but I can't help knowing who he was. It's dinner." "What?" She gestured with her head. "Dinner. Last meal of the day. It's almost time for it to start. We should probably be there or Allen will think dirty things and try to kill you in defense of my honor." She stood up, reaching out for him. "Come on." And he took her hand. ***** After they ate Van went to Allen's room to get him because diplomacy should not be conducted anonymously. He knocked lightly on Celena's door on the way back. "Goodnight, Celena, sweet dreams and I'll see you in the morning." There was a muffled screech of, "I'll _kill_ you in the morning, you bastard!" "Now, Celena-chan," Allen said gently. "Be rational for a minute." "Rational? He had greens put even in the _bread_! He could have killed me! Now I'm starving because I would have been _violently ill _ for _weeks_ if I ate dinner!" "Well, we can have always have the kitchen bring you something on a tray," Allen suggested, trying to smooth thing out. Van added, "We've got plenty of leftovers." "I'll take Sherezarde and crush him like an ant!" "Van didn't mean that," Allen said hastily, shooting him a silent warning. "And please don't joke about Sherezarde that way." Celena sulkily said a string of rude words about her brother's apparent familial and sexual preference. Allen blushed a bit in her stead. "Celena!" "Sleep well, Celena." Van turned and continued down the corridor. Allen blurted out a formality of his own and hastened to keep pace. Van loathed closed little rooms where kings bargained with their stench of smoke and vinu and their constant, purposeful darkness. Mostly, he hated what they symbolized; that decisions that affecting entire countries could be made by two old men in tiny rooms. Van tried not to have private meetings as a principle, but if he had no choice he conducted them on his balcony. Outdoors where there were no shadows things were harder to distort. Allen made a trivial complement about the view and sat down on one of the solidly cushioned outdoor chairs. Van walked to the edge, resting his elbows on the railing and staring at the jagged line of mountains, which were not darker than the sky so much as they lacked its shading. "I don't understand how you do it," Allen was saying. "Do what?" "Tease Celena without out a hint of tact, yet manage to finesse entire countries. How you can finesse in the first place, when you sometimes have trouble stringing three cordial words together." "They're not all that different," Van told him, mildly surprised that he didn't already understand. "You just need to know people and how they'll react to things and then work with what they react to the most strongly. You're trying to do that now by appealing to my vanity although its probably just force of habit. You should know that I don't care about that by now. Just tell me what you want." Allen nodded, lacing his gloved fingers together. "Van, I... Asturia has a request for you." "Yeah?" Allen wished he would turn around, display readable body language. Van had always talked with his face and arms more readily and more truthfully than he could with words. Allen was on unsteady footing if he could not see Van's reactions, which he conceded was probably the point. "Daedalian bandits have been raiding Asturian villages near the border for month. We have reasonable suspicion that these are government ordered attacks, and they are moving further inland by the week." "Okay." Allen waited, then tried to explain further to cover the continuing silence. "We have sent delegates, of course, to talk to the king. I have even gone myself. He claims he has sent his soldiers, but he cannot control the bandits in his country..." Allen shook his head. "But the last delegate sent has not returned in three months, and I can feel it in my bones that these are intentional provocations." Van rested his chin on his folded arms. "Do you know what they could be trying to do?" "That's the frustrating part. Daedalus is as wealthy if not wealthier than Asturia and our two countries have always stood on friendly terms. I can't understand this sudden aggression." "If you can't understand it, maybe it _is_ just bandit attacks," Van suggested. "No, Van. I've spoken to most of the heads of their state and they barely tried to hide their knowledge on matters about this situation that they should not know. Besides, I trust my instincts." Van again said nothing. The moons had drifted further behind the castle since when they first came out, and his outline was ever-blending into the night. "Anything you have to say at this point would be helpful," Allen said, his tone deliberately light. Van straightened slowly, cracking his spine. "If I have to say something... you have my sympathies, I guess." "Although I appreciate the sentiment, I didn't come here for your sympathies, Van." "What do you expect me to do about it?" Van said, a little petulantly. "It's an Asturian affair. You know how to fight off a few thieves, no matter who sent them. Fanelia doesn't even border Daedalus." Allen stood, trying to at least physically balance the power here. "Van, you couldn't have possibly fooled yourself into thinking you're the king of Fanelia alone." Van snapped his head around, surprised. Allen pressed on. "Fifteen people have died so far and more than forty houses have been destroyed. This is probably the worst conflict on Gaea since we settled into the alliance. Do you want all that work to go to waste? Do you want people to suffer because you couldn't be bothered?" Van bowed his head, mouth twitching. "You're a fast learner, Allen." "So will you go to Daedalus for an official conference with me?" Van raked his fingers through his hair with a nearly inaudible sigh. "I wo... I can't spend the rest of my life hopping from country to country to smooth every little skirmish. It'd be harmful in the long-run, and my priorities will always be in Fanelia." "I know. I wouldn't even approach you about it, except, this peace is still new and... unusual. I think this violence is simply an expression of disapproval of the terms of the alliance. Most of the nobility still, well..." "Think the whole thing's a stupid idea and having to be on the same economic level as the rest of the _aristocrats_ even is a direct affront to their sensibilities," Van finished for him. "That's an easy one. Just a few vague threats of a peasant uprising or another war and hint that bleeding to death from a pitchfork or dissolving in a ball of light is probably a worse fate than having to wear the same dress twice in a month, and they shut up." "Not impressed by your opposition, I gather." "Not most of it." Van's eyes glimmered faintly for an instant, reflecting the cool trembling light of the stars. The solid, gentle assurance of his voice coupled with his thin, hard, beautifully disturbing body was helplessly fascinating. Allen understood how the thousands dirtied and stained by the war would willingly follow this beacon through his uncharted worlds. " I've heard every single reason why this system won't work," Van continued. "And I only agree with one of them." "Hm?" Van picked at some of the dirt eternally ground into the lines of his palm. "People are selfish. Selfish, greedy and cruel. They think I'm too young to know that." Van must be in some strange introspective mood. Allen had never heard him talk about his philosophy-- Van barely acknowledged he had a philosophy when he wasn't fighting for it like a blood-crazed wolf. It was similar to his pretensions of ignorance whenever the extent of his influence and power was discussed. "So what do you propose to do about that? You can't just cut the selfishness out of people." Allen wanted to grab his words and scrub the oily slyness on their corners clean. He wasn't trying to manipulate Van or pervert his trust, only wanted to learn what this bruised, sad-eyed man, whose friendship he had won only grudgingly when he was a angry, fatally gentle boy, thought about the true nature of human kindness. "No, it doesn't go away," Van agreed, sourly regretful, as if the real point was to change that. "And you can't ignore it. A dam lasts only so long before it bursts and it takes years for the river to calm again." He picked a leaf off one of the trees framing the balcony and shredded it absently. "But if you dig runoffs for the excess water, channel it out, the river won't change depth and it can flow on course for much, much longer. And sometimes, if you're lucky or if you're careful, the runoff can even nurture the land." "So you're attempting to control negative emotions," Allen surmised, faintly wondering when Van had started speaking in metaphors. He nodded. "In a few months you won't have many excuse if you can't make things better either and being not quite sure of what you're doing isn't an acceptable one. Which is why I'm going with you on your damn diplomatic mission." He dropped the pieces of leaf over the railing, and they both watched the thick summer wind stir them into a long chaotic flight before finally letting them rest on the ground. ***** it worked. yes, so far. the true challenge is still to come. worried? it would be insane not too. don't have the brunt of the load though. it will go according to plan, assuredly. probably right. so much at stake though. been waiting too long to fail now. yes. just don't forget about the girl. don't be overconfident. of course. placating. only a human. what can she do? human behavior has resulted into the reason we're doing this. never forget what they can do. ***** Van woke on a bed he did not know in a room he could not see, drops of sweat stinging his eyes as he sat up, gasping for air. For a time he was simply panicked until a reasonable worm of thought reminded him that although this was the expected and diagnostic behavior of a person waking from a nightmare he had not had one in over six years and that had been only a purposeless and vivid dream. Besides, Van had never cried out or bolted upright out of terror, even when he was young enough to be truly afraid of dreams. Sudden movement and noise could give you away, and Balgus had always been a firm believer of saving fear for loftier purposes. So he closed his eyes and focused on his breath and heartbeat until it stopped pounding in his ears. Calm again, he crawled out from underneath the blanket to sit at the foot of the bed and make sense of all this. The room was black, although Van couldn't tell if that was simply due to an absence of light or if this was dream blackness filled with inky depths and nameless demons. He crossed his legs beneath him and waited to see if his eyes adjusted to the light, if there was any light to adjust to. He leaned back against the footboard, frowning slightly at the overstuffed mattress on the bed. The word bed hung in white before his eyes, where he was tempted to touch it, then winked out. The bed, the fact a bed existed here, seemed to be a vital hint of something. Fanelia did not have beds, or at least these obsequious, overdone beds, which were considered a sign of wealth used unwisely. Van had slept on pallets, on futons, on the ground, all his life as was only sensible. These mattress-and-pillow beds were only popular in Asturia, where the gild was considered more precious than the gold. Spending eight dark hours attempting to sleep on one was one of the little sacrifices Van was always forced to make while traveling in other countries. This must be a dream because there were no beds in the palace, but he was not in complete control of the dream as mattresses did not take up an important section of his subconscious. Of course, that he was rationally debating whether this was a dream at all probably meant it wasn't. There was a sweet, haunting whistle of a folk-song long forgotten except by the impatient hum in the chest, which resonates with the passion and longing of all songs that don't need words. And perhaps this was not a dream but Van knew that it could not be real. Folken's thoughts and dreams and songs only quivered something deep in his soul because Folken had been responsible for them, and Folken's death had physically pierced into a deeper place than any of the guymelefs he had been fighting at the time. The song still played, each note precise and clean. Van could imagine them floating towards him in a single line, sparkling like gems, their colors infinitely varied. It was a slow song, a sad song that might have been cheerful once, somehow. He put his feet down on what surprisingly, considering the off-tilted design of the rest of this place, turned out to be a simple, plank hardwood floor, and padded out of the room. The next room was too bright compared to the room with the bed, all smooth white surfaces and sunlight slanting through the windows. There was furniture of varying sizes and textures scattered all over but all if it was rectangular and strange. Van was only able to recognize a table and two chairs tucked into the corner of the room. The room radiated ease in its uniformity, as if this was the only way such things could be done, and the soft earthiness of Folken's clothes and skin felt unwelcome in this impossible white. Folken stood, propping his elbows on a counter and whittling something Van couldn't see. His grey-green hair perpetually flopped in front of his eyes which must have been irritating when doing precision work with a knife, but the song never faltered and the knife never slipped. "A... Anuae," Van's voice cracked, and he suddenly felt very small, unsafe and in need of comfort. Folken looked up from his work and stopped whistling long enough to smile his old gently innocent smile. Then he started his work again, his forehead slightly wrinkled in concentration, still whistling their mother's song with unconscious ease. Van rubbed his arms, more for reassurance that something could change in the monochrome of this world than out of cold. "Anuae?" he tried again. Folken put his knife down and gestured to the table. "Sit down, Van." Van realized how tightly he was hugging himself and murmurs from the strict things inside him thought he should stop. "But..." "Van, you should sit down," Folken's tone was even, sensible and, to Van's annoyance, slightly chiding. Very little else left for him, Van sat in a chair directly perpendicular to his brother. He crossed his elbows on the table and tried to look, not stern, that would be dressing up in his father's clothes, but skeptical and expectant, like a man and a king. Folken smiled again and shook his head with affectionate but pronounced amusement. Van blew out a sigh and leaned back in the chair. Folken once again picked up his knife but remained silent. Van toyed with the idea of out-waiting this apparition of his brother, teach Folken a thing or two, before he saw the futility of it. Folken had always been a creature of silence, blending into the edges of quiet no matter where he was. Van's signatures were his brashness and his ability to storm through old established ways without a damn for tradition in his desire to set things right. Van would always regret the naive vindictiveness of his boyhood judgements but right now he would feel a great deal better if he yelled. But he didn't and he wouldn't. Somehow, perhaps it was Folken's calming presence or the serene whiteness or the sunlight without a visible sun, he knew this was not a place for such things. "Is this a dream?" he asked finally. "I mean... I know it's a dream, but is it a normal dream or one of those... vision dreams?" Folken shook his head. "I don't know. Do you normally dream about things like this?" "I don't dream a lot," he looked around him. "But when I do, its usually about things I know. I've never seen this place in my life." Folken put down the knife and picked up a polishing cloth "But do you recognize it?" "What?" "You heard me," Folken sat down across from Van, but his hands never stopped moving. His two-- Van noticed for the first time-- graceful, human hands. He thought he might cry, he thought he might start laughing, and he desperately wanted to avoid the weakness associated with both. He looked up at Folken's face through his bangs, childlike and sheepish. Folken reached over to hold Van's hand in both of his own, waiting for his brother to collect himself before he continued. "So, do you recognize this place?" he asked again, after a time. "No," said Van. "And its not like I haven't been exposed to a lot of visions and disembodied voices and just don't know what they're like. I don't know this house." "You knew it was a house," Folken pointed out. "No one ever told you what kind of building you're in." "Can I wake up now?" Van asked brusquely. "This has been a long dream and I have a lot to do." "Why?" "What do you mean why? I'm the king of Fanelia now. It's a lot of responsibility. A lot of work." Folken returned to whatever he was doing. "But you're making a lot of that work yourself, aren't you?" Again Van wanted to yell and hurt and feel better and again he didn't because that sort of thing was not done here. "I... but... I'm doing my best to carry out your ultimate vision! You don't know that?" Folken shook his head again. "You know I'm not really Folken. I'm just a representation of some of the things he meant to you." Van blinked hard. "I... guessed." Folken stood up and walked over to stroke his hair. Van let him. He wished he was surprised at his display of passivity but it had been too long a day to pretend. "You'll wake up soon, Van. Take this before you do." He held out his carving. It was a land dragon, thrusting out his chest just before the flame. Van took it gingerly, turning it over in his hands. "You're a dragon, Van," Folken said gently, so very gently. "Yet you slay them." "No one else knows how to do it better." Van's voice was hoarse. "But you kill them because you can understand them, ne?" Van started to protest, but Folken interrupted him before he could find a line of thought. "Because you remember when you were nothing a shell for your rage, how the bloodlust rang through you and death was the only gift you thought you could give. And now you are ashamed of those feelings and want to make amends for them, but you suspect nothing you can do will ever be enough. You have saved the soul of an entire world, Van. That isn't of equal value to the actions of a scared, lonely child with too great a responsibility and too many enemies and who was confused about every single aspect of his life? You had been taught to respond to anything negative with violence. How should you have reacted to the destruction of your country less than five minutes after you were given responsibility for it?" Van said nothing. "And the person who burned your kingdom to ashes is now one of your closest friends--" "Celena wasn't responsible for what Dilandau did," Van protested, grasping for a response he knew how to give. Folken smiled again, sadly now, as if the point was not one he wanted to prove. "And you know that because you let yourself forgive her and what she represented. I know you suspect its only because you wanted to show you could make peace, but you saw her when she was lost and sad and your immediate reaction was to offer comfort. Do you think many people are that generous?" "Well, they should be," Van said, almost sulking. "Well, they aren't," Folken's voice rose a degree, before he calmed again. "I claimed loyalty to Zaibach because I could see what an unusual, beautiful soul you had and I wanted to protect you from the devastations of war. But I was foolish, and I ending up causing you as much pain as was in my power to cause you. It's a pattern in your life, isn't it? Those that love you most and want the best for you come the closest to destroying you." Van... hurt. Trying to organize this anguish would only amplify it so he simply hurt. "Why are you telling me this?" he said, taunt as a wire. "Do you think you're helping me?" "For whatever reason, you claimed personal responsibility for Gaea and you must stand by that claim. If you resent this obligation, as you are beginning to, you can only create harm. If you must be a dragon slayer, please be a merciful one." Folken closed Van's hand firmly around the carving before stepping back. "Hitomi is a dragon tamer." "Hitomi isn't here anymore." Van answered icily. "Recognize this place, Van," Folken said again, and Van was awake and breathing hard in his dark, hot room. Tiny wooden scales cut into his palm. End Part 1