Author's notes and apologies at end. All previous notes/disclaimers apply. Rated G. btw..."PT" is "physical therapy." -------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter Three "Come on, give me a grunt!" Sakura encouraged as she pushed down on Usagi's leg, bending it at the knee. She reminded Usagi of a perky American cheerleader. She was only about Usagi's height, with shoulder length blonde hair and a youthful appearance that made her appear more as one of Usagi's school friends than of her actual occupation. Which was torture chamber expert. "*Aaaaaaaaaah*!" Usagi screamed in response. Her back, lying flat on the floor, tensed up and she shut her eyes tightly against the pain. "Girl, you need to learn to grunt," Sakura scolded. "That was not a grunt." Usagi just glared back at her physical therapist until she stopped the excruciating exercise. "Why does it have to hurt so much?" Usagi complained, lifting up her head. "No pain, no gain," Sakura said cheerfully-too cheerfully in Usagi's opinion. Usagi groaned again. "Seriously, Usagi," Sakura said more gently. "We've only been working together for a week. I told you, the first few weeks are always the hardest." "And then it stops hurting?" Usagi asked hopefully. "No, then you just get used to it." Sakura grinned as Usagi groaned once more and let her head flop back down on the mat. "Sadist," she muttered. Sakura laughed. "I'm sorry...princess," Sakura said sympathetically. Her words produced the desired response from Usagi, a smile. "Why do you call me that?" Usagi asked. 'It's so funny. You don't even know my true identity.' "Well...you just look like a princess," Sakura said, only half- joking. "Tell that to my friend Rei," Usagi laughed. "She would say I'm more like the court jester." 'Though not lately.' Usagi pondered this thought for a moment. Rei had been uncharacteristically nice to her since Usagi's admittance to the hospital. Usagi couldn't remember the last argument they had had, a fact that seemed incredulous to her considering it had been a month since her accident. Usagi wouldn't be concerned with it except that it was obvious Rei's congeniality was forced. Conversation during their visits, which was only about once a week, had become strained and uncomfortable. Usagi lamented the fact that her injury was driving a wedge between her and one of her closest friends. Sakura's voice brought her back to the present. "Then I would tell her, 'A cheerful heart is like good medicine,'" Sakura said. Usagi gave her a small smile. "I'll have to remember that," she said. In truth Sakura's quote, or rather her non-bungling of it, caused Usagi's thoughts to shift towards another friend who was exactly the opposite. Minako had been visiting faithfully during her sickness, as much as three or four times a week. And once she had been convinced that Usagi didn't need an extra nurse, her visits had actually been rather enjoyable. Unlike the PT that Usagi was subjecting herself to at the moment. Usagi made a face as Sakura prepared to move her towards another apparatus. "Not the parallel bars," she protested. "Usagi, you know you need to build up your arm strength," Sakura reminded her. "But it's my legs that won't work," Usagi said bluntly, knowing she could say such things around Sakura. She wouldn't dare voice such thoughts around her friends. They were uncomfortable with any mention of her injury. Usagi respected their feelings, but it was nice to have someone like Sakura, whom she could be honest to. Sakura and Mamoru both, she thought. "And it will be awhile before the do work properly," Sakura said gently. "until then we need to build those biceps and give you some strong muscles to push your wheelchair." She teasingly felt the muscles in Usagi's upper arm. "Are you telling me that these scrawny things are going to push that?" She nodded towards the metal wheelchair Usagi had come in. "I made it here, didn't I?" Usagi said. Sakura nodded. "That you did," she admitted. "I'm proud of you for pushing it that far by yourself." Usagi smiled in pleasure until Sakura added, "But you're going to have to go farther than 100 meters in most places." "Do you always have to be so pessimistic?" Usagi whined. "I'm not pessimistic, I'm realistic," Sakura said. "Achieving a goal is great, but you have to keep it in proper perspective." "I know," Usagi sighed. Sakura leaned down and hugged her. "But being realistic doesn't mean you can't be optimistic. Remember what I just said about a cheerful heart? It's a proven fact that happy people get better faster than grouches." Usagi grinned. "Then I think Minako's recovery would be instantaneous." Sakura laughed with her. Minako had brought her down to physical therapy the last time and Sakura had gotten to meet her briefly. "I think you're right there," she agreed. "Now let's speed up YOUR recovery by going over to the parallel bars." "OK." Usagi gave in. She lifted her arms up and placed her them around Sakura's neck as she was transferred to the wheelchair. She still felt awkward doing this without the function of her legs. It was just that she was uneasy of the fact that if she fell, she would be unable to catch herself. In physical therapy the knowledge that Sakura was trained for this type of activity reassured Usagi. Sakura was not likely to drop her. A couple times other people had needed to move her though, and it made her extremely nervous. Not only that, she realized that her injuries were not so serious that she would be staying in the hospital until she could walk again. She would still be in a wheelchair when she left. Who would carry her then? Sakura carefully set Usagi in the wheelchair, then rolled her over to the parallel bars. Usagi made one last desperate plea. "But Sakura, I can't even move my legs yet." "That hasn't stopped us before," Sakura grinned. "Besides, that's not true. Didn't you say you moved your big toe three nights ago?" Sakura asked. "That was nothing. It was just a toe," Usagi insisted. Smiling, she said, "Besides, we have to keep our achievements in perspective, don't we?" "Touché," Sakura laughed. "You're using my own words against me. Still, though, that's better than you think. It shows your nerves are still responding to your commands. You should eventually be able to walk as well as before. The doctors believed this with their tests earlier but your movement confirmed it." Usagi didn't say anything but her blushing cheeks told Sakura that she had heard her. Sakura remembered how excited Usagi had been when she had told her. Usagi was just happy to have control over her legs again, no matter how small a control it was. Sakura didn't try to call her bluff. Instead she simply rolled the wheelchair under the parallel bars and turned it around so that Usagi was in between the two bars. She then reached down to help Usagi stand up. Usagi allowed her to. As she had said, she was not able to feel her legs or put any weight on them yet, but she was able to support herself some with her arms. Sakura took up the slack as she said, "Besides, I'll hold you up." Usagi felt self-concious at needing someone to help her stand. "Am I not too heavy?" "Nope, you're light as a feather," Sakura said. "In that case you must be as strong as my friend," Usagi said. "But she's a lot taller than you." "Well, I'm trained for this stuff. What's your friend's name?" Sakura inquired casually. She knew the role of physical therapist was twofold; one was to help the patient physically, and the other was to support the patient emotionally. And she had seen a light go out of Usagi's eyes at the reminder of her friend. "Makoto," Usagi said, "But we call her Mako-chan." She didn't add anymore but her eyes shone with unshed tears. 'Why hasn't she come to see me?' she thought sadly. 'All I've gotten is cards from her. And treats, but delivered by other people,' she reflected. 'She says she'll come to visit but she doesn't. What is she so afraid of? I didn't think Mako-chan was afraid of anything.' Sakura noticed her retrospection and tried to draw her out of it. "You want to talk about it?" she asked. "What? Oh, no," Usagi said. If she didn't want to talk about it, the next best thing is to take her mind of if, Sakura thought. "OK, then in that case push up for me, Usagi!" she chirped. Sakura's trick worked, though it wasn't what Usagi wanted to do. Usagi sighed, then gripped the bars tightly and locked her elbows. The exertion required made her concentrate solely on the task at hand. She strained to push herself up, letting her legs hang uselessly beneath her. "Push harder," Sakura demanded. Usagi did. Her muscles felt shaky and her elbows ready to give way but she kept pushing. "Harder!" Usagi tried but was almost at her max. She gave one final push, accompanied by a tremendous "Ugh!" "Now that's what I call a grunt," Sakura said approvingly. "I knew you had it in you." Usagi looked at her in exasperation. The distraction caused her to lose her grip on the bars. She opened her mouth in shock as she started to fall. '...I'm falling...I can't catch myself...something is laughing. ..it almost sounds like a roar! I'm about to hit the ground... Mamo-chan, catch me....' Usagi blinked as she was suddenly jolted out of her flashback by strong arms actually catching her. "Alright, that was five seconds longer than yesterday!" Sakura encouraged as she lowered Usagi into the wheelchair. "Yipee," Usagi answered sarcastically. Her heart was still pounding from both the exercise and the scare. 'These flashbacks are getting freaky. What was that thing I heard?' "You can have a minute's rest. Then we do it again," Sakura declared. "But I'm tired...ahh, that feels good." Usagi's whining changed to contentment as Sakura began massaging her shoulders. "You're having a terrific workout today," Sakura complimented. "Come on, one more set then I'll let you into the whirlpool." "OK." Usagi was appeased by the thought of the warm, soothing whirlpool that completed her therapy each day. "That a girl. You ready?" "Sure thing." Usagi squared her shoulders. Sakura smiled and began to lift her up again. "Now, do you remember the formula for squaring binomials?" "a^2 + 2ab + b^2," Usagi replied obediently. Ami tried to cover her surprise. "That's right," she said with obvious pleasure. "Your studies really *have* picked up recently." "Sakura says that a tragedy can make people more responsible," Usagi said absentmindly, her mind not really on the studies. She lay on her bed, open book in her lap, examining the frayed edge of the blanket covering her. She picked at the an unraveling thread listlessly. "Uh-huh," Ami said uncomfortably. "I keep telling her to stop calling me tragic. I'm a person, not some Shakespearean play," Usagi wisecracked. Ami gave her a small, distracted smile. "Right. Now, to cube a binomial you..." she returned to the previous subject. Usagi sighed at Ami's business-like demeanor. Not that it was unusual; she was the most disciplined in the group, at least in regards to studies. Ami had seemed to be even more so, though, since they had been working together. Poor Ami was extremely concerned about Usagi falling behind during her hospital stay. She had faithfully visited three times a week, bringing Usagi her homework and tutoring her in the math and sciences. She made herself available in the evenings so that Usagi could call her if she needed. Usagi was grateful for all her help, but Ami restrained any conversation during their visits to what pertained to their studies. Everytime Usagi even hinted of her paralysis, Ami shied away from the subject. But she wasn't the only one. All of her friends were doing this. At first everyone, including Usagi herself, had been optimistic about a quick recovery. Then, as the weeks wore on, and Usagi still couldn't walk, reality had set in, and each had found different ways to deal with it. Usagi had professional help to deal with it, not only in Sakura but also the psychiatrist, ('shrink,' as Usagi put it) her parents made her see once a week. Her friends had to come up with their own defense mechanisms, by trying to shut out or deny the truth: that it would be a long time before Usagi was completely better. 'Though I will get better,' Usagi thought. 'Sakura just said so today.' "Usagi...earth to Usagi..." Ami waved her hand in front of Usagi irritably. "Did you decide to take a trip to the moon? Because you sure were spacey there for a moment," she teased. Usagi groaned. "Everyone's a comedienne today," she said. "Sakura was in rare form in PT today." PT was still a touchy subject for Ami, but one she felt she could deal with. "How was PT?" she asked casually. "Good," Usagi answered. "But Sakura sure is a slave driver! She made me do three sets on the parallel bars. This was after she said I only had to do two," Usagi pouted. "Well, it will help you out in the long run," Ami said practically. "Yeah, when I am using my wheelchair regularly," Usagi sighed. She noticed Ami stiffen at that remark and decided to confront the problem. "I'm going to have to, you know. I won't be able to miraculously start walking again. It has to come in stages." "I know," Ami said softly, her head bowed to hide the sorrow in her eyes. "It's just so hard for us to see you this way." She blinked back tears as Usagi looked at her in surprise. It was the first time any of her friends had discussed their feelings about her injury with her. "I'm sorry, Ami-chan," she said sympathetically. "It must be a big adjustment for you too. It was for me," she said wryly. Ami smiled, but her tone remained serious. "That's the problem. I don't think I've quite adjusted yet. I don't think any of us have. I...I just try to ignore it, by concentrating on your studies and mine. And when I do think about it, I bury myself in the medical jargon, because it's so impersonal. Spinal cord injuries can happen to anyone, so I'm able to pretend I'm just studying for pre-med, instead of remembering that I'm reading about what happened to you." She almost maintained her composure but a tear managed to slip out onto her cheek. Embarrassed, she took a tissue and dabbed at it, then stared off in the distance, avoiding Usagi's gaze. "I'm sorry," Usagi said. "I've caused you guys so much pain." She started to sniffle herself. Ami looked up, startled. "No, Usagi," she said. "It's not your fault. We feel guilty too." "Don't be," Usagi said. "It's nobody's fault, it just happened. Well, I take that back. I think we can blame it on the daimon," she grinned. "Probably so," Ami agreed, relieved at the meaning behind Usagi's words, that she didn't blame any of them for not being able to be there for her. "Still, you'll have to be patient with us." "Don't worry, I'll be a patient for a long time," she teased. Ami looked unsure of what to say. She wavered between remaining serious or laughing, and finally couldn't hold back a giggle. "Now who's making the bad jokes?" she said. "You haven't changed a bit." "Thanks," Usagi said dryly. Ami blushed. "I didn't mean it that way. I'm mean you're still the same on the inside. You haven't let your injury get you down. That speaks highly of you." Usagi smiled and looked down at the praise. "But we still have to bring your grades up," Ami finished good-naturedly, switching back to academic mode. Usagi groaned. "I think I'd rather go back to Sakura, the perky barbarian," she said, and Ami laughed again. "Really, Shingo, I can do it myself," Usagi said in exasperation. "But I'm just trying to help!" he protested. Usagi reminded herself to count to ten before answering. She appreciated his concern, but this was a little much. "I know," she said. "But really, I can feed myself. Promise." She smiled at him. "OK," he resignedly agreed, and handed her the spoon filled with mush that he had been trying to shove in her mouth. Usagi examined the contents critically, then looked at the tray full of hospital food it had come from. "Besides, are you trying to poison me?" she exclaimed. "What *is* this stuff?" Shingo grinned. "It is pretty gross," he admitted. "But I figured the 'bottomless stomach' could eat anything!" "Hey, no fair! I can't retaliate in this contraption!" Usagi patted the metal bed vehemently, then smiled to herself, her anger fading. Shingo had been very nice to her while she was in the hospital, she thought. They hadn't fought once in the full month she had been there. Her accident had brought them closer together. 'At least one good thing has come out of it.' It was funny, she mused, that she was happy that her and Shingo's fights had stopped, but she wanted for Rei's to start back. She knew that in spite of her antagonism, deep down Rei cared for Usagi, and Usagi felt the same way back. But right now, with Rei's forced passiveness, Usagi wasn't sure what Rei was thinking. "I have something here that should be edible, though," Shingo said, oblivious to the fact that his sister's thoughts had taken a 180 degree turn. He pulled out a sack he had concealed from the nurses. "Mako-chan packed this." "Yum!" Usagi said, snatching the bag from him while vaguely wondering when Shingo and Makoto had gotten so close that he could call her "chan." She opened the bag to display a delicious array of muffins and cake. She prepared to dig in when a thought struck her. "Want some?" she offered to Shingo. His eyes lit up. "Yeah!" he enthused. Usagi patted the bed next to her. Shingo hopped up and sat down beside her. They munched happily on the treats. "Mako-chan has been visiting us a lot lately," Shingo noted. 'That's a lot more than she's been visiting me,' Usagi sighed inwardly. 'Which would be never.' Curious, she asked. "When has she been visiting?" "She comes over, like, three or four times a week," Shingo said, and Usagi stifled her surprise. "And then she calls the other days." "But why?" Usagi asked. "Mostly she wants updates on your progress," he said. "And sometimes she brings treats like this," he said, indicating the cupcake he was enjoying. "Really?" Usagi asked. Shingo nodded. His comments had managed to further confuse Usagi on Makoto's odd behavior. It was obvious she still cared, not that Usagi doubted much on that point. But it didn't make sense for her to be visiting her family so much and not Usagi herself. "Well, tell her she can call me anytime," Usagi said, and Shingo nodded his head again. "OK," he agreed. He finished off the cupcake and slid off the bed, then walked around the room a little, bored. He turned back to his sister. "Hey, you want to go for a walk around the hospital?" His eyes widened a bit as he realized what he said. "Um, I mean, that is, I'll push you in your wheelchair," he said lamely. "Sure," Usagi said. "Just push it over here. And you can call it a walk, I know what you mean," she assured him. Shingo smiled his thanks; he had been worried that his careless words had made Usagi feel bad. He wheeled the chair over to the bed while Usagi pressed a button to lower the bed to the same level as the chair. "Now push it right up to the bed," Usagi commanded. He did, and as soon as the bed had finished lowering, she leaned over and gripped the arms of the chair. "Hold the back of it steady," she said, and as soon as he had a firm grip, she pushed herself out of bed and twisted her body so she landed sitting in the chair. She gave a relieved smile; she had done it again. She leaned down to adjust her legs, then pulled a blanket down off the bed to tuck it around her. It made her self-concious to have people stare at her legs, so she covered them up. She started to wheel herself away but Shingo stopped her. "Can I push you?" Shingo said eagerly. "OK," Usagi relented. He grabbed the handles in the back and pushed her out the doorway into the hallway. "Hi Usagi!" Nurse Miaka waved from her station. "Out for a ride?" "Hai!" She yelled back. "Have you meet my brother, Miaka-sama?" "San, Usagi, Miaka-san," she gently scolded. "Hai, Shingo and I have met before." "Hi Miaka-san," Shingo waved back shyly at the pretty brunette. Usagi noticed his embarrassment and realized with amusement that Shingo thought she was pretty. "Bye now, Miaka-san!" Usagi waved as Shingo started pushing her away. "Good-bye!" she called back. "Don't go too far!" "We won't!" Usagi yelled in response as they rounded a corner, out of sight from Miaka. "She's married, you know," she told Shingo. "Lucky him," he mumbled, and Usagi laughed. "Hey, onee-chan, let's go down the elevator," he said, pushing her towards the doors. Once they reached them he pressed the down button. "If you want," Usagi agreed. "Doesn't look like I have to much of a choice," she grinned. "Which floor did you have in mind?" "The second. It has that cool ramp." The elevator arrived for them and they got on. "Hai, the doctors curse that thing," Usagi laughed. "It slopes for almost ten meters and wraps around a sharp corner besides that. A bunch of them have lost their footing going around that curve. It's kinda steep too...are you sure you'll be able to push me back up?" "Hai! Of course. Here we are," Shingo said, as they reached the second floor. The doors opened and he pushed Usagi out. "Umm... which way is it?" "Go left," she told him. "You have to go through those double doors down there, then after a short plateau it starts." "OK!" he said. "Let's get there fast!" He dug his heels in and started running so that he could push her through the hallway faster. "Careful, you little speed demon," she laughed as they whizzed by. She gripped the wheelchair's arms tightly. "This isn't the race circuit, and you're not the champion driver Tenoh Haruka." "Aww, you're no fun," Shingo teased. He slowed down as they came closer to the doors, though. When the reached him he came to a complete stop, and held the door open. "You'll have to push yourself through the door," he said apologetically. "I can't hold the door otherwise." "No problem," Usagi said. She pushed herself to the small landing on the other side, then took her hands off the wheel to let herself drift to a stop. There was one problem. She didn't. Shingo was making sure the door shut properly when he heard his sister's shriek. "Shingo!" she yelled. "Oh, man," he said and shook his head. The wheelchair hadn't stopped before reaching the ramp and had started rolling down on its own. Usagi was trying to apply the brake but wasn't using enough force so she kept gaining speed in spite of her deceleration. "I'm coming sis!" he yelled, and started after her. Usagi was trying in vain to navigate. The corner was coming up and she wanted to be able to take it at a reasonable angle. She finally managed to slow herself down enough and started to lean into the curve. Shingo reached her just then and grabbed the handles to help her steer around it. They still had enough speed so that Usagi's wheelchair popped up off the ground and they were driving on two wheels. "All right!" Shingo yelled. "A sideways wheelie!" "Shingo!" Usagi yelled back. "This is not funny!" "Yeah, yeah, whatever...uh-oh." Shingo's eyes widened at the next sight. He dug his feet into the ground in a desperate attempt to stop. Usagi saw it too and screamed. Their victim, a nurse pushing a cart full of laundry up the ramp, looked up and stopped dead in her tracks in shock. The resulting crash was inevitable. Usagi was knocked off the chair and into the cart, as the wheelchair went careening off to the side. She promptly crumpled to the floor, looking up towards the ceiling and vaguely aware of the fact that her ankle was throbbing badly. Towels went flying everywhere, and the nurse pushing the cart was knocked backward onto her backside. For good measure the momentum caused her to slide halfway down the ramp going backwards. Her eyes narrowed. "What are you kids doing?" she said angrily. "We didn't mean to..." Shingo started. "No one ever does," the nurse spat out. "Someone could get hurt..." "Ow." Usagi's groan directed their attention away from the argument. "See?" the nurse couldn't resist saying. "Onee-chan!" Shingo cried worriedly, running to Usagi's side. "Are you OK?" "No. My ankle is killing me," Usagi answered, annoyed. "I'm sorry," Shingo said with remorse. "It's not your fault. You stupid oaf," she said affectionately, tousling his hair. Shingo backed away with a smile. "You're the one who couldn't figure out the brake," he threw back. "Let me look at that ankle." The nurse said, proffesionally ignoring her aggravation. "Which one is it?" "My right." Usagi pointed. "I see a nasty bruise forming," the nurse said. "Where does it hurt, here?" "Yes, right there--ow!" Usagi glared at the nurse when she touched it. "Interesting," the nurse said. "It really hurts?" "Of course it does," Usagi said. "Why do you ask?" "Because, I happened to be on duty in ER when you came in. I didn't think you had feeling in your legs," she said. "I don't..." Usagi stopped mid-sentence, her eyes wide, the pain temporarily forgotten. She looked at Shingo, who looked back in shock. "That is, I didn't..." she glanced down at her ankle. Tentatively she willed her foot to move. She saw her big toe twitch again, but nothing else. 'Come on...please...' she pleaded. Slowly, hesitantly, she tried to move her ankle. She was rewarded with another throbbing pain. 'It definitely hurts.' Then it happened. Her foot extended itself, toes pointed, then returned back to its former position. It was just a faint motion--had Usagi blinked she would have missed it--but it was there, and all three observers saw it. "IT MOVED!" Usagi and Shingo shrieked simultaneously. Shingo threw his arms around his sister, pulling her up into a sitting position. "And it hurts," Usagi said again, tears spilling down her cheeks, both from the joy and the pain. The nurse shook her head with a smile. "Teenagers," she said with a sigh. "Well, congratulations sweetie. But we need to have a doctor look at it to make sure you didn't sprain it, then we'll put a bandage around it. Come on Brother, help me get her back up in the wheelchair." "Yes ma'am!" Shingo said happily. He righted the chair and set it sideways so it wouldn't roll again, and then helped the nurse set Usagi in it gently. "Come on, dear. We'll go to Likatumi-sensei. Brother, why don't you go find your parents and tell them where your sister is," the nurse said. "OK!" Shingo said. He started running down the ramp. "And don't run!" The nurse admonished. "Have you forgotten why this happened in the first place?" "Oops." Shingo slowed down to a walk. He began to turn the corner. "Bye Onee-chan!" He waved good-bye. "Bye, Shingo!" Usagi waved back as the nurse pushed her up the ramp, out of sight. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Author's notes: Hello out there to anybody actually reading this. I said I was going to get this out at about a month or two before I actually did, didn't I? Oops. I apologize for the delay. I'm one of those struggling college writers (btw, appreciated the discussion on the ASMR bulletin board about that topic ;) and I'm struggling to catch up in my schoolwork this semester. Not only that, I'm complicating matters by transferring schools. So...in other words, life is crazy. To make up for it, I'm posting both Chapters 3 and 4 this week. Also if you're curious, I'm planning on having six parts to this series. The fifth chapter is done already, it's simply waiting on its...fourth revision? (Goodness, that chapter is giving me some grief.) The sixth chapter is started, but I've managed to temporarily write myself in a corner...never fear, I will be asking some of my friends for suggestions. Hmm...guess I should tell them that, shouldn't I... ^_^ See ya next time, Setsuna M meiou_setsuna@hotmail.com P.S. 'A cheerful heart is like good medicine...' --Proverbs 17:17