| Rating: |
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| Gordon Torbet |
| Signs USA, 2002 [M. Night Shyamalan] Mel Gibson, Joaquin Phoenix, Rory Culkin, Abigail Breslin Sci-Fi / Thriller |
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| Unfortunately, I didn't read them (the signs that is - Ed). Specifically the one saying 'Beware - Mel Gibson mixing it with appallingly animated alien beings - U-turns entirely permitted'.
As a piece of harmless entertainment, it is passable - it has the �unknown�, it has suspense, eerie torchlit sequences, a couple of crowd-pleasers in the lead roles and two kids who are given 'cheeky' lines and cute illnesses (bless their innocent little hearts). But behind all the running through corn fields on dark ominous nights, and pending alien invasion of Earth, there actually isn't very much invention, especially considering Shyamalan's pedigree. Without spoiling the plot or the punchline there is little I can be specific about with regard to the film's weaknesses, but there are several if anyone cares to look � so that rules out several million Americans and a couple of hundred critics (I have a rather large and irritable bee in my bonnet about Hollywood pandering to the lowest common denominator - a species called Homo Simpsoniens). I will however offer a few hints. Next time you're at 35,000 ft look down at the fields and imagine how small the average 'crop circle' is - about as useful a tool for navigation by hostile intergalactic parasites as a world atlas for finding directions to David Icke's house. Also, on a planet where most things contain some degree of water, you would have thought some smart-arse alien would have thought about this. If I've kind of given away the plot, you would have guessed it after about 15 minutes anyway. And finally, Mr. Shyamalan, don�t show us the bloody alien unless you employ a computer animation genius � they just don�t look or move in a believable fashion (Ridley Scott managed it without computer animation in Alien over 20 years ago � so where�s the problem?!) Possibly the one redeeming feature is Joachin Phoenix�s performance � don�t ask me why, he's just a very interesting actor to watch, and I have to say there wasn�t much else to be honest. Finally - and I mean it this time - if it will be any help to the aliens next time they decide to pay us a visit, I'll be more than happy to get my string, compass and wooden board out, fly to California and make huge frickin' great arrows all pointing towards Hollywood. It�s the least I can do for the benefit of the species. |
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