I can barely remember the 1972 original starring the one and only Ernest Borgnine, but I do remember thoroughly enjoying it and getting very scared at that tender young age. When I first heard about this remake I groaned, when I heard that Wolfgang Petersen was directing, I leapt for joy! The same man who gave us the brilliant Das Boot and the enjoyable The Perfect Storm was the perfect man to redo this claustrophobic disaster movie.
The basic plot revolves around a �rogue wave� capsizing the luxury ocean liner Poseidon, and a rag-tag bunch of survivors fighting for what they believe is their only chance of survival by making it to the bottom (now the top) of the boat. In one aspect the movie succeeds in scaring the bejesus out of us when the wave hits the boat, it was very scary and violent (for a 12 certificate movie anyway), and I never ever want to go on a cruise. Ever. Bodies are fried, crushed, impaled, dropped and drowned, and all the carcases float about for the rest of the movie. It is a pity therefore that these carcasses are more interesting than the living cast.
We are briefly, and I mean briefly, introduced to a large number of characters at the start of the movie, nowhere near enough character development to make us care about them when the ship hits the fan. He he, get it? With a painfully short running time of 99 minutes compared to normal blockbuster movies which run from about 2 hours upwards, this movie could have done with that extra 20-30 mins to fill out those characters so that we can give half a damn about them.
The character choice is what you would expect, the usual mixture of the reluctant hero, the annoying kid with mother, the father with growing-daughter troubles, and the seedy git who you know is going to get his comeuppance. It's this that makes the movie fail miserably, you don�t have to be psychic to predict what the outcome will be, corn and cheese are dished out by the bucket load with a hammy and predictable ending that made me wish I�d bought something else on pay-per-view.
I am very disappointed in Wolfgang, this movie takes a giant step backwards in quality storytelling (think Speed 2: Cruise Control), and I was expecting a lot more from the man who should be the king of making movies at sea. Special effects range from outstanding to disappointing, and shoving Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas in there for a cameo (again think UB40 in Speed 2) just made me cry a little inside. Shame, a hard-core adult version of this movie might have been more effective in giving the audience a shit-scary thrill ride. |
