Bart The HeroBack to episode list
Homer pushes Bart out of the house as Lisa and Maggie watch.
Homer:Get out there and get into shape, boy!
Lisa,:[taunting] Yeah, Bart!
Bart:[to Lisa] Thbptbptbptbpt.
Homer:Bart!
Bart:What!
Homer:Move it!
Bart jogs across the lawn and hurdles the (3-foot high) picket fence.
Bart:Hulp!
Bart jogs down the street.
Bart:[puff puff] Sey, this ain't bad...
 [pant pant] fresh air...
 [puff puff] beads of sweat...
 [pant pant] I can dig it.
Bart skids to a halt in front of Chupo's Candy Store.
Bart:Pit stop!
Bart heads in.
Inside, Mr. Chupo is bound and gagged behind the counter. A robber
(complete with mask) stands by the register.
Bart:Afternoon, Mr. Chupo. I'm here for my daily candy bar fix.
null:Mmmph. Mmmph.
Bart:Today, I think I should have the chocolate-covered...
null:[nervously] The store's closed, kid. Now scram!
Bart:[slow realization] Hey, you're not Mr. Chupo.
null:I said scram!
Bart is thrown out.
Bart:Wait a minute... I demand the right to be served!
Bart turns to go back in at the same moment the robber emerges from the
store. The two collide and knock each other down just as the police
arrive.
null:Congratulations, boy. You just earned yourself a big reward.
Bart:[lifts his head, dazed] All I wanted was a measly candy bar...
 [puts his head back down]
Bart is being interviewed on television. During Phil's introduction
Bart surreptitiously waves at the camera.
null:Here we have Bart Simpson, the young lad who captured the notorious
 candy store bandit. How does it feel to be a hero, Bart?
Bart:Pretty damn good, Phil.
null:Your family must be proud of you right now.
Bart:I bet they're jumpin' up and down.
Back at home, Homer and Lisa jump up and down in front of the television
set.
Homer:Whoa!
Lisa,:Yay, Bart!
Homer:Whoa!
Lisa,:Yay!
null:[on the TV] And the ten thousand dollar reward.
At this, Homer and Lisa go down on all fours inches away from the set.
Homer:Ten thousand big ones! I love you, son!
null:[on the TV] What are you going to do with the money?
Bart:I don't want the money. That's why I've asked for the reward to be paid
 in candy bars.
null:What will your family think?
Homer screams and collapses.
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