Punching Bag

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Marge:

Now, play friendly, children.

Homer pushes the kids into the rumpus room.

Bart:

We don't want to play friendly.

Homer:

Bart!

Lisa:

We want to play rough!

Homer:

Lisa! Act like a lady.

Homer slams the door.

Lisa:

Yeesh, what a grouch.

Bart punches a floor-mounted punching bag.

Lisa:

Come on, Bart, you can punch better than that.

Let me try.

Bart:

But you're a mere girl.

Lisa:

And you're a sexist pig. Gimme those gloves.

Bart begins to hand them over, but Lisa snatches them.

Lisa:

Your problem is you're not motivated.

Lisa draws Homer's face on the punching bag and starts punching with

gusto.

In the living room, Homer reclines on the couch while Marge knits.

Homer:

Urgh. [annoyed] Do you hear that?

Marge:

What, dear?

Homer:

The punching bag.

Marge:

They're just playing, Homer.

Homer:

I can't sleep with that racket. Go tell them to knock it off.

Marge:

I like the punching bag sound. You go tell them if you don't like it.

Homer:

[threatening] I said do it, now move it!

Marge angrily gets up off the couch. The punching doubles in intensity.

Homer gets up and goes into the rumpus room...

Homer:

Why you little...

But the punching is coming from Marge.

Homer:

Gasp!

Marge:

Oh!

Lisa:

Uh oh. Sorry, Dad.

Bart:

Sorry, Dad.

Maggie:

*suck* *suck*

Marge:

Sorry, Homer.

Bart:

Sorry, Homer.

Bart steps in front of the bag. Lisa stands behind it.

Homer:

[threatening] Get out of the way, Bart.

Bart:

But...

Homer:

Step aside, boy...

Lisa bites her knuckles in fear.

Bart:

But...

Homer:

Bart...

Bart swallows hard and steps aside. Lisa gasps and clutches the punching

bag.

Homer:

Let go, Lisa...

She does so, and it springs forward, knocking Homer out.

Homer:

D'oh!

Homer lies face-down on the floor as the rest of the family look on,

shocked. Bart raises Lisa's arm, declaring her the champion.

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