Shut Up Simpsons

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Text in {curly braces} denote items cut in syndication.

On the couch (from left to right) are Maggie (playing with a squeak-toy

rabbit doll), Lisa, Bart, and Homer. In the comfy chair sits Grampa.

A black-and-white picture of Marge is mounted over the couch.

Lisa:

Just think. Sitting right here are three generations of Simpsons.

Bart:

What a nightmarish concept.

Homer:

Bart!

Grampa:

Homer!

Homer:

What?

Grampa:

Leave him be.

Lisa:

Yeah, Dad.

Maggie squeaks her rabbit.

Homer:

Lisa!

Grampa:

Homer!

Homer:

What?

Grampa:

Leave her be.

Bart:

Yeah, Homer.

Maggie squeaks her rabbit.

Homer:

Bart!

Grampa:

Homer!

Homer:

What?

Bart:

And the beat goes on.

Maggie squeaks her rabbit.

Lisa:

[annoyed] Quit squeaking that toy!

Lisa gives Maggie a shove.

Bart:

Don't shove Maggie. She's just a little baby!

Bart gives Lisa a shove.

Homer:

Don't hit your little sister. She's a girl.

Homer hits Bart.

Grampa:

Keep your hands off him, Homer!

Grampa whaps Homer with a rolled-up newspaper.

{Maggie squeaks her rabbit. Everyone glares at her.}

Bart:

We can't bicker like this. We're the Simpsons!

Grampa:

You know, the little scamp's got a point there.

Lisa:

Let's all get together and give each other a big hug.

They do. (Maggie hugs Homer's leg.)

Homer:

Say, this isn't half bad.

Bart:

Now, let's all forgive each other. Lisa, I forgive you.

Lisa:

Grampa, I forgive you.

Grampa:

Homer, I forgive you.

Homer:

And I forgive you, Bart.

Bart:

Apology accepted, Homer.

Homer smiles.

Bart:

I'd forgive you too, if you'd use a breath mint.

Homer:

Why you little...

Homer strangles Bart.

Grampa:

Homer!

Grandpa strangles Homer. Homer strangles Grandpa.

Maggie resumes squeaking. Lisa looks disgusted.

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