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| The Simpsons living room. Over the couch is a picture | |||
| of an ocean liner. Homer and Bart. In Homer's left hand is a plate | |||
| heaped with green goop. A plate of orange goop is in his right hand. | |||
| Homer: | Hey there, boy. Mom took the girls to the `ballet' tonight, so | ||
| it's just you and me, kid. | |||
| Homer says the word `ballet' in a `la dee da' teasing manner. | |||
| Bart: | [not enthusiastic] Uh, sure, Dad. | ||
| Homer: | So set up the TV trays and let's get started. | ||
| You want the frozen fish nuggets [the orange goop] | |||
| or pork-a-roni! [the green glop] | |||
| Bart's cheeks puff out in mock vomit. | |||
| Bart: | [still not enthusiastic] Well, it's a toss-up, Dad. | ||
| Homer: | I've got an idea! | ||
| Let's mix them together smorgasborg [sic] style! | |||
| Homer upends the plate of green goop atop the plate of orange goop | |||
| and mushes the two plates like an accordion. After a few compressions, | |||
| the glop has turned a uniform purple color. | |||
| Homer: | Voila! Fish pork-a-roni a la Simpson. | ||
| Bart raises his hand. | |||
| Bart: | Uh, Dad? Is it too late for me to catch a bus to the ballet? | ||
| The picture over the couch is of the ocean liner nearing a mine floating | |||
| in the water. (You know, the round spikey things.) | |||
| Homer stands where he was before, carrying a plate of steaming-hot | |||
| purple/pink glop. The two TV trays are set up in front of the couch, | |||
| but Bart is nowhere to be seen. | |||
| Homer: | Where'd he go? Bart? Bart? Bart... | ||
| Homer's calling becomes short and clipped. | |||
| Homer: | Bart! Bart! Bart-Bart! | ||
| Bart's head rises from behind the couch. | |||
| Homer: | Baaart! | ||
| Bart: | Here I am. | ||
| Bart climbs over the couch. Homer has an angry expression. | |||
| Homer: | Eat. | ||
| Homer tosses the plate of purple/pink glop (a ten-inch high pile) | |||
| on the TV tray in front of Bart (*splort*), who has sat down. The glop | |||
| jiggles as it lands. Bart pokes his finger at it and tastes his finger. | |||
| Bart: | Yech. Tastes like dog food. | ||
| Homer: | Bart! | ||
| Bart holds a forkful of steaming hot purple/pink glop. | |||
| Bart: | Does eating dog food turn you into a dog? | ||
| Homer barks back. | |||
| Homer: | Bart! | ||
| Bart: | Well, that answers that question. | ||
| The ship is going down in flames. Homer and Bart are seated facing each | |||
| other, eating off the TV trays. Both have a huge pile of purple/pink | |||
| glop. Homer's mouth is demonstrably full of glop, which he swallows. | |||
| Homer shakes his forkful of glop at Bart. (Little gloplets fly off.) | |||
| The area around Homer's plate is spattered with glop. Bart hasn't | |||
| touched his food. He just sits there, fork in hand, staring at the food. | |||
| Homer: | [scolding] You're not touching your fish pork nuggets-a-roni, boy. | ||
| The fork flies out of Homer's hand. | |||
| Homer: | [brightly] Whoops! Dropped my fork! | ||
| While Homer bends down to pick up his fork, Bart dumps his food on | |||
| Homer's plate. (*splort*) When Homer gets back up, Bart sits in | |||
| his chair with an innocent smile, staring at the ceiling. Homer | |||
| is somewhat astounded. | |||
| Homer: | Finished already? | ||
| Bart holds his very clean plate. | |||
| Bart: | Mmmm. Licked the plate clean. | ||
| Homer reaches down and produces a saucepan of, yes, more purple/pink glop. | |||
| Bart reacts accordingly. | |||
| Homer: | Good! Cause there's plenty more where that came from! | ||
| Homer forks a huge dollop of glop onto Bart's plate. Bart's cheeks | |||
| puff out. | |||
| The foyer. Marge and the girls return home. Lisa and Maggie ballet-dance | |||
| on tip-toes off stage right. (Maggie falls just as she leaves.) | |||
| Marge: | We're home! The ballet was divine! Oh, it was just... | ||
| [sniffs] What's that smell? | |||
| She spots Homer and Bart, asleep on the couch, the remnants of a | |||
| fish-a-roni pork nuggets-a-thon on the TV trays. The painting depicts | |||
| a bubbling ocean (glug glug) and some flotsam. | |||
| Marge: | [adorably] Oh, look at that. Our own two husky men snuggled | ||
| together on the couch. | |||
| Bart moans. | |||
| Close-up on Homer's face. He talks and gesticulates in his sleep. | |||
| Homer: | Pass that bucket of [smacks his lips] fish pork nuggets-a-roni this way. | ||
| Bart, meanwhile, waves his arms in front of him. He is apparently | |||
| having a nightmare. | |||
| Bart: | Come on, man. No nuggified fish porklets. Ohhhh noooooo.... | ||
| Marge: | Isn't that sweet... | ||
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