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| A nondescript room in the Simpsons house. A brown couch is in the corner. | |||
| On the wall is a picture of an ocean liner. | |||
| Marge and Homer stand together at stage left, facing the three kids | |||
| gathered at stage right. Bart bounces a green ball. Lisa holds a | |||
| rabbit doll. Maggie just sucks away. | |||
| Homer: | Children, we have some very sad news for you. | ||
| I think you'd better sit down. | |||
| The kids don't move. | |||
| Homer: | Sit down!! | ||
| The kids sit down on the couch. Bart drums his fingers. | |||
| Marge: | Children, your elderly Uncle Hubert has passed away. | ||
| The kids look at each other. | |||
| Homer: | Do you have any questions? | ||
| Lisa: | Yeah. What does `passed away' mean? | ||
| Bart mimes slitting his throat (with appropriate sound effects). | |||
| Bart: | You know. Kicked the bucket, pulled the croak chain, had a meeting | ||
| with Old Mr. Grim, the... | |||
| Homer: | Bart!! | ||
| Bart: | [with reverence] That he died. | ||
| The three kids bow their heads. | |||
| At the funeral home, the family have dour expressions, except for Bart, | |||
| who grins evilly. The mortician peeks through the curtain. | |||
| Mortician: | Would the family care to view the loved one at this time? | ||
| They head in. Bart clasps his hands in wicked anticipation. | |||
| Bart: | Oh, boy! I've never seen a dead body before. | ||
| I bet his skin'll be all green and clammy and stuff. | |||
| It'll be just like a zombie movie, only real! | |||
| Lisa: | [sticks out her tongue] Ewww... | ||
| They reach the casket. Homer and Marge look in and continue on. | |||
| The girls look in and continue on. | |||
| Bart (still grinning in anticipation) looks in, the grin vanishes | |||
| from his face, he turns green, and he faints. | |||
| The pallbearers carry the casket to the grave, the Simpson family | |||
| bringing up the rear. | |||
| Bart: | Man, this is so slow! | ||
| Bart runs ahead to the open grave. | |||
| Bart: | Steady boys... Easy there... Whoa! Little to the left... | ||
| Homer comes up from behind and grabs Bart, covering his mouth. | |||
| In the car on the way home, Homer drives while muttering angrily | |||
| to himself. The kids are in the back, Maggie in a pink car seat. | |||
| Marge: | Children, you were very, very naughty today. | ||
| Shot of the three kids as they frown, ashamed. Homer continues | |||
| to grumble. | |||
| Marge: | Your father and I are quite disappointed in the three of you. | ||
| Homer: | This is absolutely the last funeral we ever take you kids to. | ||
| Lisa: | Awww! | ||
| Bart: | Awww, c'mon, man! | ||
| Back to episode list | |||