Gone Fishin'Back to episode list

{Curly braces} enclose dialogue or scenes cut in syndication.
Homer is in traditional fishing attire. Floppy hat. A styrofoam cooler
in his arms. Fishing pole balanced atop the cooler. Orange life jacket
on his shoulders. (Okay, maybe the life jacket isn't traditional...)
Homer:I can almost taste that trout already!
Pull back. Homer has reached the riverbank. Behind him, Bart drags
a red rowboat. Bart is facing away from Homer, the upside-down
boat covering his head, panting heavily.
Bart:Where are we?
Homer:Cut the chatter, boy. Get the boat in the water.
Close-up on Bart, as he falls backwards.
Bart:Ugh! (*splash*) Oof!
The boat (with Bart in it) drifts away.
Bart:[waving his arms] Whoa, I'm adrift! I'm adrift!
Homer dives in, swims to the boat, and lifts himself in.
(The boat lists in the obvious direction.)
Bart:Boy, for a second there I thought I was up a creek without a paddle.
Homer just sits, panting and staring.
Bart:Dad?
More panting and staring.
Bart:Dad?

While Bart rows, Homer reclines, enjoying a can of what we presume to
be that wonderful Duff.
Homer:Fetch me a bologna sandwich, there, boy!
Bart opens the cooler.
Bart:Uh oh.
Homer:[angrily] Don't tell me you forgot to bring the bologna sandwiches!
Bart sifts through the contents of the cooler.
Homer:[quietly angry] I want my bologna sandwich now!
Bart has found a jar labelled ``Bait''. He empties the worms onto a piece
of white bread and hands the sandwich to Homer.
Bart:Here you go, sir.
Homer takes the sandwich.
Homer:What are you staring at? Go on, have a sandwich yourself.
Bart:Uh, I'm not hungry.
Homer:(*chomp*) Mmm! Good!
Bart:Whew!

Homer inspects the empty jar of bait.
Homer:{Hmm. I} coulda sworn we brought more worms.
Bart smiles nervously.
Homer:Hey!
Bart:What?
Homer:[in a panic] Rapids!
Bart:[freaks out] Nnnnngh!
Top view of the rowboat as it wanders through a rock garden, like a
bad video game. Homer waves his arms wildly.
Homer:Don't panic! ... Just keep calm, and we'll zip right through 'em. ...
 Oh, no! ... Ooooh! ... Ooh! ... Help!
Bart:Ugugugugugugug...
Homer:Rogogogogogogogogogocks!
A montage of various shots of Homer and Bart (and the rocks), sort of
like a cheap ride at Disneyland.
They've reached a calm spot in the river. Homer is flat on his back.
Bart is bleary-eyed.
Bart:[eyes gone bonkers] That was mildly enjoyable, sir.
Homer tries to raise his head to respond, then collapses.

Homer reclines, fishing. Bart rows. Homer is missing his right shoe.
Homer:Sing that little ditty you were singing before, boy.
 It calms my nerves.
Bart:[singing] Row, row, row your boat...
Homer:That's the tune!
Bart:...gently down the stream.
Homer:Ah, yes...
The boat nears a waterfall. Bart doesn't see it because he's rowing.
Homer is facing the wrong way.
Bart:Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily...
And over it goes.
Bart:(*gasp*)
(*splash*)
The boat emerges from the mist. Two very tired fisherman aboard.
Bart:[with lost enthusiasm, spoken] Life is but a dream.

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