CHAPTER XIV - THE FAMILY
Family is the basis, the foundation, the support of all stable societies.
Whenever a family excels in the cultivation of high spiritual qualities and does not allow itself to be contaminated by the virus of corruption, it plays a very relevant role in the improvement of the community.
Just as the force of cohesion keeps together the component cells of bodies in their utilitarian phase, families also need the force of cohesion to interconnect themselves like the cells of a whole, and to form a homogeneous, progressive, peaceful society intent on the development of the most meaningful virtues.
This force of cohesion derives from high affinitive feelings, noble aspirations, solidarity in accomplishments aiming at perfection, and disindividualization of efforts made towards a common goal.
The greater the number of familial nuclei engaged in the development of this force of cohesion, the higher the environmental indexes of morality and honesty.
The behaviour of a community, which reflects the condition of the majority of its members, is a measure of the average level of improvement of a people. It reveals its productive and accomplishing capacity, both materially and spiritually.
Therefore, family formation becomes an outstanding social problem. By this is meant not the union of two human beings who are spiritually apart, not the spiritual and physical intertwining of spouses having in mind their mutual responsibilities and the preservation of the human species.
To those who marry, a clear understanding of each spouse's duties and rights is essential. As a rule, these rights and duties are not equal, but complementary.
It is through association of interests aiming at the same goal, intelligently felt and pursued with devotion, that the spiritual ties linking wife to husband and husband to wife are formed. Thus, physical attraction, which is so debasing to mankind when perverted, should come second.
Incarnation carries with it, besides other commitments, the duty to form a family, to honour and dignify it at all costs.
Therefore, those who, either by action or omission, contribute to the break-up and disintegration of the family, are guilty of serious spiritual offence.
Communities, which nations are made of, will be great and respected as long as the foundations of their moral structure, represented by the spiritual links connecting families, are strong enough to repel the evil currents of corruption, unbridled sensuality, self-worship and immorality.
Family is a nucleus where man can exercise the virtues of affection, tolerance, loyalty, self-denial, abnegation, faithfulness, sacrifice, respect and community of feelings.
As a corollary, the home is a school of spiritual improvement and a field for psychic development.
It is easy to make mistakes. It is difficult to correct them. Therefore, to avoid mistakes, man needs to be on permanent guard.
AN OPEN BOOK
A couple's familial responsibilities, although heavy, are not more than they can cope with.
There must be complete trust between husband and wife. Like an open book, both spouses should always be ready to reveal their mutual feelings. Neither should do anything that may intimately arise shame or the need to conceal.
Secretiveness, hiding of faults or lying in order to maintain appearances are very detrimental to character, besides hindering spiritual evolution. Family life is much happier when each spouse strives to deserve the full confidence and moral support of the other.
Infidelity and adultery, besides hurting decency, leave an indelible spiritual stain on the conduct planned for an incarnation.
Honest thought and will power are powerful weapons to be wielded in the fight against the thrusts of inferior forces, which try to encircle man in the harmful animistic matter of their currents as soon as they perceive an affinitive feeling bent towards infidelity.
Man and woman act as mutual complements. They act to counterbalance and keep in equilibrium a condition that should be permanent.
The spirit is linked to the entire physical body by animistic cords and relies on them to make possible the equilibrium of organic functions. Similarly, spiritual action unfolds in the formation of the family, assigning to men tasks that involve high thinking capacity and accurate training, and to women those that are more closely tied to sensibility and gentleness, without excluding intellectual gifts with which women are likewise endowed.
Therefore, each spouse should endeavour to perform his or her tasks well. If they stand united, they will carry out their arduous and dignifying assignment. If they grow spiritually apart, they will sow the seeds of discord and disagreement and their work will be left unaccomplished.
HARMONY AND UNDERSTANDING
Violin and bow are two distinct parts that, united, produce sublime musical sounds in the hands of an artist. Similarly, two human beings joined in marriage, although endowed with different qualities and assigned different tasks, should help each other under the harmonious vibrations of mutual accord and understanding
Men and women should never be concerned about the value of their contributions as these are measured by different standards. Liquids are measured by units of volume, whereas textiles are measured by lineal units. Therefore, there can be no comparison and equivalency between such bodies.
Consequently, it is also impossible to establish a fair comparison between male and female production because a fundamental unit is lacking. Hence, the duties of men and the duties of women, although equal in value, cannot be reversed. Doing so would infringe natural laws and cause a corresponding imbalance.
The spirit has no sex, although male and female tendencies and actions are revealed in earthly life. It is the spirit itself that decides what sex it will adopt when it reincarnates.
As a rule, if the spirit incarnates as a woman, its aim is motherhood. This tendency is so marked that a little girl, as soon as she starts taking her first steps, displays a special interest in dolls whose bodies she caresses like a mother does to a child. The same happens to a boy who turns his attention to little horses, automobiles or tool boxes.
The maternal instinct arises in women in the dawn of infancy. To be a mother - devoted to her mission with body and soul - is the noblest accomplishment of a woman on Earth.
The support given to a wife to facilitate her familial duties, and to a daughter so that she will eventually become a good mother, is never too great. Women need much loving care so that they will not fail in the accomplishment of their high ideals, summed up in the excellence of her home environment and offspring.
Women play an extremely relevant role in the task of human regeneration. To achieve this goal they need to keep in permanent touch with their children - who will be the parents and rulers of tomorrow - in an effort to rear them according to the patterns of a fully virtuous moral conduct.
Children's subconscious is pliable and therefore sensitive to the guidance they receive. This guidance should be ruled by the principles of honesty, devotion to work and to truthfulness. In this way they will grow up to be good citizens, excellent husbands and wives, and exemplary parents.
GOOD HUMOUR
The members of a family should never be lacking in serenity as well as good humour, and the cultivation of these qualities is of the utmost importance. Good humour and pessimism are irreconcilable. A good disposition paves the way to success because it overpowers defeatist thoughts and groundless fears, thereby driving nervousness away.
The countenance of a good humoured individual reflects joy and self confidence and he is bound to enjoy good health.
Living in a family setting demands of its members a great dose of self-denial and tolerance. By so doing harmony and understanding among them will not be lacking, and the bonds of affection that should unite them will become stronger and stronger.
Let us always bear in mind that we are all imperfect and stronger. These errors should be faced not with indignation and rebellion, but with calm and understanding. For this reason, impulsive, violent, untimely tempers need to be subdued.
A husband's personality may differ from his wife's, just as those of their children may differ among themselves. These differences are easily understood if we take into account the diverse spiritual categories of the members of a family.
One of the greatest human virtues consists of respecting other's viewpoints without ever falling short of politeness.
In order to maintain family unity and togetherness, the husband must put in as much effort as his wife. Every family member should feel proud to share his honourable name.
The deepest foundations of parents' moral authority are their conduct and good examples, and this authority will be greater or smaller depending on the degree of sincerity, common sense and honesty of their behaviour.
Whenever they feel the need to guide their children, good parents should set examples from the undeviating rectitude of their own conduct. Good parents never let their children acquire vices. They spare no efforts to ensure that their own lives will serve as a model of behaviour that their children may mirror with regard to love of family, honesty and devotion to work.
Children in turn need to listen to their parents' judicious advice in order to forearm themselves against the risks and dangers to which they will be exposed in the course of their lives.
Improvement of mankind must begin with rebuilding of family habits. It is an accepted principle that every individual can be as good as he aspires to be, within human possibilities. By the same token, the maxim that every people has the government it deserves is likewise confirmed.
Hence the need to always strive to raise the indexes of familial formation so that every nation will have a government up to par with its spiritual development and its moral awareness.
A people's well being and happiness can easily be measured by its attachment to home and family. Those who, without serious justification, refuse to form a family, fail to fulfil their duty to society and cannot be considered good citizens.