Yes, after much deliberation the Council of Rohan has decided it is time for our beloved Eowyn to get betrothed. So all those elegible males of any kingdom who be interested, please present yourself here and plead your case.
(Also expect to be tested by the White Lady herself. As we all know she is a strong willed young woman, and she may try to test you all by claiming she will not get married. I assure you it will just be a test from her, to find the man who will pursue her regardless.)
Now, who wants to marry a Lady of the Mark?
Andi Vanariel
Well, I would, as many people seem to think I�m a guy. *is highly amused by this* But, no, I�m very much female, straight, and engaged, thank you. So there�s no point in this post. *bows* Thank you for your time.
Hawk
*Is so sad that his queen would cheat on her beloved Faramir (ED note> not Faramirr, but the Faramir in the book), but is willing to accept it because Faramir is dull and boring, and Eo always was a wild girl, and goes to place an order for "Rohan gone Wild" Starring Eo and Bereth!*
Lorelei
I would speak for Eowyn�s hand, and surely you cannot refuse Vana!
though my intention would not be marriage...more of a saving her from evil wedding plans thing. and then I could match her up to a truly eligible male at a later date.
but...since i once was sort of a guy, and a King of the Mark, and now have become one of the Valar i�m sure that you will consider me as a candidate.
Rohwyn
*pokes her head in, grins, and leaves*
Remy
We certainly appreciate the offer Lor. And we may be forced to accept if we do not recieve any other suitors soon.
Are there no brave men of Arda who will attempt to tame the Wild Woman of the Wold? Surely there are a few young and valiant fellows out there who would undertake such a task and make their grasp at glory!!!
Pip Reonyea
I will also bid for Eo�s hand, for pretty much the same reasons as Lor...though if a suitably cute blokie pops up, I�m sure she�ll be fine...
Remy
I�ve heard of a Ladies Man, but our dear Eowyn appears to be a Ladies Woman. And here I thought it was Bereth who had the ladies eyes, what with that bushy beard and broad shoulders... C�mon, there�s got to be at least one guy who wants fame and fortune, not to mention one heck of a good cook.
Blaedtunge
Question: How come it�s the council that has decided it�s time for Eo to get married, and not Eo herself? Just a thought, but considering that she�s a "strong willed young woman", (you said it yourself) would you really want to get on her bad side? What are Eo�s thoughts on this anyway?
Stirring the pot,
Fyrefox
*Walks in* good day. Where is the fair lady Eowyn? I feel it should be she who chooses the young gentleman and the young gentleman to choose her as well...and if she choose I would start dating the fair lady.
StormReaver
I would put my name forward for Eo�s hand. Although I may be a bit rough around the edges, I feel that it is these qualities that Eo would truly appreciate. My family is strong, and having a worldly dwarf in the mix would certainly make things interesting.
From the mines of Khazad-dum I am sure that I could provide a more than suitable bridal gift for Eo, should she agree.
Remy
*Shushes the Riders.* She�s um, getting a make-over, yeah that�s it, a make-over, it�s part of this whole contest. (Now, this is all in fun, she�s already quite aware of it.)
Lorelei
hmmmm....
I see no need to re-state my case, I merely wish to add that I�m sure the fair Lady Eowyn would be honored to have Vana bless her marriage. and I do have some matchmaking experience... <evil chuckle>
Amhran
Hey, hey, now...�taint fair to force our beloved Eowyn into marriage. If she refuses, I stand by her! *brandishes a herring menacingly*
Elenedhel
*laughs and brandishes Pruneface*
Eohdwyn
*sulky glower* I�m NOT getting married . . . *folds arms and glares* And I�m not testing anyone! I am perfectly happy and SINGLE, thank you! And I plan to stay that way for several more years! *obstinate scowl* (LOL, silly Remy!!! )*rofl* thanks for coming to my rescue, guys . .? *g* or gals, rather . .o_o;;;
*pats on head* thankees, Amhran, that�s so sweet of you! *rofls at Elle*
and actually, Hawk, this is pre-Faramir since I�m still in Meduseld . . . *wonders bemusedly about plaza time reference in relation to LOTR . . . decides not to try and figure it out*
Blaedtunge
*Blaed stands beside Amhran and Eo, his own herring brandished towards Remy and the rest of the council.* "Aye, she shall choose who she wants, and none shall choose for her! And at the risk of offending one so highly esteemed, Remy that was rather Wormtoungue-ish of you!
Amarth
*Steps forward, in a claim for the prize*
Eohdwyn
*mutters under breath about not being a prize* I�m not about to go hide in a Crackerjacks box . . *pokepoke* sillies . . .
Bereth
*DIES LAUGHING!* Actually Remy, I could have sworn I heard her mumbling in her sleep last night, something about saving herself for a really special guy, someone with a strong leadership personality, wicked sense of humor, uncharacteristic dark hair . . . *ducks flying half-eaten cookies, stale brownies, wadded up scratch paper with algebra equations, rusty nails - grinning at his/her sister all the while*
Seriously, males of all kingdoms, I�m quite certain if you present your case eloquently and with great passion, she may change her mind in this matter!! Give it a try!
Remy
Truly Bereth, I think you have the right of it. While she possesses the most iron of wills, even the most adamant can be moved. So, if you wouldst win that fairest of hands, plead your case here and now.
(Blaed, you have much to learn if this surprises you.)
Remy
Alright, alright, you win, she is not a prize to be won.
So, we�ll sell her instead!!!
I now announce the first ever Eowyn Auction!!! We�ll start the bidding at let�s say, 25 head. Do I hear 30? Anyone give me 30 head of cattle for this fair haired maiden?
Fyrefox
...*sigh...I will not hold an auction for the fair lady. There is not a price high enough to compete for her hand. Not all the gold in Middle Earth could buy her. SHE should choose herself a man be he rohirric or Elven or even a halfling. I would like to compete for her hand but I am a better man then that. *Draws his sword and thrusts it toward the ceiling* To Eowyn, our fair lady
Remy
So Fyre, what you�re really saying is you�re broke? That�s okay, we give credit. I know you�d be good for it after the ceremony. And why only Rohirrim, Elves and Hobbits? Are you saying the other races are not good enough?
Hawk
I OBJECT!! *As he gets up he knocks his chair into the air in a fit of rage and storms toward the door*
Remy
*Remy sees the chair out of the corner of his eye.*
Thirty from the wooden guy! Do I hear 35? Anyone? No? 30 going once, twice, *Bangs gavel* Sold to the ornately carved wooden chair!!!!
The wedding will take place in an hour.
Eohdwyn (or is it?)
*swoons* A chair! A wooden one! My dreams are coming true before my very eyes! *contemplates writing a sonnet about the chair as she prepares for the wedding*
Remy
*After a moments discussion with the chair, Remy looks up.*
Ahem, it seems the groom is eager to begin. And he would like Hawk to be his best man, since he is the one responsible for this happy occasion.
Hawk
*is greatly honored* And me being upset on your happy day! My deepest apologies!
Bereth
Awwww, sis, you sure you want to marry this air-headed chair?? What possible qualifications does it have? Oh well, if you are so determined, I guess I�ll offer to carry you, er walk you down the aisle for your unforgettable day!
Remy
*Remy stands at the alter, a very nervous ornately carved wooden chair with Hawk at it�s side stands before him. As the music begins, all three look towards the door, where the bride enters.*
Umarth
*shows up late and loses to the chair*I always show up late. If the chair doesn�t pay can I have her?
Hawk
*stands proudly next to his friend Chair*
Rohwyn
*stands on the sidelines, watching the happy wedding of Eowyn to Mr. Chair*
ringspell
Am I too late? I ask for the hand of the fair lady Eowyn. To show that I am sincere, I present the lady with this. *Holds up a beautifully ornate necklace made of rubies and gold. Though I am but a lowly Istari, I will not stop until I have proven myself.
Rohwyn
*pokes Ringspell* Shh, the wedding has started! Look, Eowyn is being married to Chair!
Amhran
*snif* They�re so beautiful...what a happy couple....I think I�m gonna cry...*fishes around in pocket* Oh drat....Blaed, or anyone who has one, can I borrow your hanky? *shnrk*
Eohdwyn
*walks down the aisle wearing a snow white dress and trips over her own feet, regains her composure and continues down, when she reaches Chair she gazes into his ey . . .er, backrest*
Remy
*Addresses both of them.*
Ah, tis such a joyous occasion which gathers us here. The pairing of Eowyn of Rohan and the Ornately Carved Wooden Chair. I understand you have written your own vows?
*Chairs motions to Remy, who leans closer as Chair whispers to him.*
Of course I shall. Chair vows to you Eowyn, that he will love and chairish you, help and support you and stand firmly beneath you until the day he in which he decays away.
Now it�s your turn Eo.
Bereth
*stands by sister, hand patting her arm reassuringly*
Eohdwyn
I, Eowyn, vow to love, polish, and dust you, till death (or termites) do we part. *blows loudly into her hankie*
Remy
*Wipes tears away.* That was so beautiful. *sniff*
*The couple goes through the usual I do�s and Remy rambles on and on until finally...*
Oh right, by the power invested in me as a carpenters apprentice, I now pronunce you Furniture and Wife. You may seat the bride.
Rohwyn
*hands Amhran a hanky and gets herself one as well* aww! *sniffle*
Elenedhel
*sits back and giggles softly*
Bereth
*Sobs loudly, using her sleeve to wipe the tears away* My sweet little sister, all gwown up!
Eohdwyn
I never dreamed I would have such a handsome, or at least well carved, husband! I will be sheildmaiden no longer, nor vie with the great tables nor take joy only in the furniture of iron. I will be carpenteress, and love all furniture made of wood and are 4 legged! *goes off on two-day honeymoon* I will return to you happily wedded, but for now, bon voyage! We�re going on a tour of the Furniture of the Great.
Remy
*Watches joyfully as Eo plops down on her new husband and the two are carted off into the sunset. Turns to Bereth...*
Say, milord, have you thought about settling down? I know a really sweet endtable....
Amhran
*sobs* Thank you Roh...WAAAAHAAAA! *blows nose loudly on hanky*
*hooonk*
*snif sigh* There they go...what a cute couple! *wonders what the children will look like*
*shrugs and gives up trying*
Blaedtunge
*Blaed comes out of his corner, his eyebrow cocked.* "Wait a minute. Did Eo just swear not to be a shieldmaiden any more?" *Smiles cynically.* "Right. And I�m a Hobbit." *Exits shaking head and muttering something about Dernhelm never doing something like this.*
nobody
Hmmmm.. interesting....no minions here yet. Well I am one of the most famous minions in Mordor and founder of the army so it seems fitting for me to post an� boast here, I even tried to invade Rohan once but missed most of the battlle after I started the thread because of school, but now it�s half term, so...*Grins.*.
Lorelei
Weddings just make me tear up. <wipes eyes>
So Eo, since you seem so blissfully happy with your new...husband, I bless your marriage. Long may it last!
Elfwine
Congrats to your wedding, Eo. I�m sure you and your chair will live happily ever after. As all the fairytales go.
Tin-Lizzie
Awwww *sniffles* I knew she would find the right guy or, um, chair . . .anyway, it�s all the same in the end, right?
Pip Reonyea
*blinks* Eo, I�m so glad you�ve found your intellectual match, medear
Eohdwyn
ROFL!!!! OMIGOSH!! TIN, you are SO DEAD!! *can�t believe her sister did that* uhm, guys, hate to disappoint ya, but that wasn�t me . . . I�ve been gone for the last day and a half, and TINNY the traitorous toothpick signed it on my account . . . *rolls eyes* only a tree could think of being married to a chair . . . Gracious Illuvatar . . . *eyes ornately carved chair* uhm! I don�t believe I�ve had the joy of making your acquaintance . . . uh, sir Chair . . . an insane Ent seemed to have possessed my body . . ? *gives chair bemused look* I�m so sorry if I hurt you? Perhaps we can just remain friends . . .
Blaedtunge
*Bl�d rushes back in after hearing Eo (the real Eo)�s last statement.* "Ha! I knew you wouldn�t do it!" *Finds another Herring and wields it in protection of Eo from the body inhabiting Entwife.* "Man, it�s good to have you back, my Lady!"
Bregalad
THATS HILARIOUS. AND TO THINK SHE WAS ALMOST MARRIED TO A CHAIR!!!! that has to be the mother of all pranks.... even though its illegal, !let her taste the hammer! (even though she is my ruler, hmm, never mind, I�d like to keep my good standing in fangorn.), I CAN�T GET OVER HOW FUNNY THAT IS!!!!
Amhran
SWEET MOTHER OF PEARL!!! FOMCL! *can�t type because rolling on the floor laughing*
*gets up and stands by Blaed, wielding another herring* Alright! You can�t get rid of our beloved queen that easy!
Rohwyn
*pokes Tinny the Traitorous Toothpick*
Eohdwyn
*is rather disturbed by how much Tinny sounded like herself . . .* *pats chair on armrest awkwardly* er, it�s really alright, guys, I�m sure it was just a misunderstanding . . . >_^ heh
Elfwine
Sure it was Eo, of course it was. I hope the chair can learn to live with it.
*Is shocked.* You�re saying now that it was not you? It sounded just like you though. And besides, what about what you said back in 6th grade?