In the beginning there was the President of the University, and he was known as Educator. Educator was tired of being the only genius and so hired Doctors to act as geniuses under him. The Doctors sung the praise of Educator who was the One and taught them how to sing of subjects, and so they would be. To the Doctors who loved Nature he gave Science, to those who loved Math he gave the Business Department. But there was one Doctor who saw his field as a means to dominate all others; the Doctor of the English Department, who was known as first as Morefun but later as Morework Allnight. He seized the title of Dean of Students and named himself lord of registrar. And so Morework Allnight defied the will of Educator and with the help of his Teachers� Assistant, Somany Wordstowrite, forged the One Term Paper in the dark land of Fourthfloor, where the TA�s are, a Paper for the English Department, to dominate all the other papers, in other departments, with the evil MLA format. However, before Morework could use this evil thing he was defeated. Somany repented of his ways and left Fourthfloor until the watch of the Parentstudent Council was lessened. Then Somany, now a Professor, re-entered the land of Fourthfloor and continued his master�s work. Thus was Somany�s plan hidden until he deemed his plans ripe, and he unleashed a flood of ink and paper, scrawled with words that had no meaning; a standard held to all students which none could attain and all were doomed by its impossible requirements.
But it came to pass that a student named Cheatol was browsing a free term paper delivery site and, quite by accident, found and ordered the One Term Paper. Once it was delivered into his hands, it turned him into a lazy F-grade student. He began wandering about the campus, muttering to himself, and because of his lousy grades thouse who saw him named him Failing. One day, while Failing was out at Foggy Clocktower, the One Term Paper was stumbled upon by his roommate, the freshman Feolcdo. Before the Paper could work its evil upon Feolcdo, however, he was warned of it by Gandakal the RA. And so Feolcdo started on the road to Rivendorm, to seek the council of Rufrond. On his way, he ran into trouble with the most dreaded of the helpers of Somany, the TAFoolz. Thanks to his companions from down the hall, Samroh, Stariadoc and Windegrin, he escaped them. On their way to Rivendorm, the four freshmen were cornered by the TAFools, but saved by an undergrad called Writer, who drove off the TAFools with fearsome words of common sense and reason. The four found out later that Writer was a friend of Gandakal�s, named Treyagorn, and bore the legendary silver gel pen Narpen. The five made their way to Rivendorm, closely pursued by the TAFools. Once in Rivendorm they were joined by Gandakal, who told them that Rufrond, the ruler of Rivendorm, was holding a Council to decide what was to be done about the Term Paper. At the Council they met Berolas the Senior, Eomir the Thirdfloorian, and Gimlana the sophomore. The people at the Council talked long, and finally Rufrond said that they must take the One Term Paper to the land of Fourthfloor, where the Inkblots are, and cast it into Paperschretter, the one place it would be destroyed. Someone raised the question of who would take the One Term Paper to Fourthfloor, and the Council fell silent, save for Rufrond, who had to keep telling people to stay off the purple velvet rug. Finally, Feolcdo spoke up, saying that he would take the Term Paper to Fourthfloor, even if he had no idea where it was. Gandakal said that he would go with the young freshman, saying that he would help him bear that burden for as long as it was his. Treyagorn rose from her seat and knelt in front of Feolcdo. �You have my silver gelpen.� She said. Berolas walked over to stand beside the freshman, and was joined by Gimlana. Both of them said they would aid Feolcdo as well. Eomir slowly joined the others, saying that if it was the will of the Council, then Thirdfloor would see it carried out. Samroh, having been lurking behind a purple potted plant, suddenly jumped up and ran over to Feolcdo, saying that her best friend wouldn�t be going without her. At this, Stariadoc and Windegrin also ran over, telling Rufrond that they�d have to be grounded or thrown in detention, becaue otherwise they�d tag along behind the company. Rufrond looked at the assmebled company, totalling nine in all, and nodded. �Alright, then.� She said. �You�ll be called the Fellowship of the Final.� And so the Fellowship was formed. Before they left Rivendorm, Feolcdo received from an old relation, Classclown, two items: a Dockers stain-repellant shirt, and Classclown�s old ballpoint with roller action Springfling, shortened to Fling for everyday purposes. Treyagorn�s silver gelpen was refilled, and she gave it a new name and called it Gelduril, the Ink of the West. And so, finally, the Fellowship of the Final set out on the long, hard road to Fourthfloor, none of them truly knowing what dangers would lie ahead.
Dramatis Personae
Feolcdo - Hawk
Samroh - Rohwyn
Stariadoc - Starfire
Windegrin - Winddancer
Gandakal - Pellakal
Gimlana - RohaeLana
Berolas - Bereth
Eomir - Eodhwyn
Treyagorn - Trey Andurandir
Rufrond - Don Adargell
Piprog - Reonyea
Fiowyn - Maid Fionuir
Pellakal
*And so it begins once more! The infamous wizard (?) Gandakal tosses aside the trigonomitry homework and regains his famous fountain pen- Glamdrink, once wilded by a professor in the lost University.* What ho! Where were we then? Lead the way, my good undergrad Treyagorn! (I shan�t tell anyone that you are really the hier of the Student Body Leader)*
Trey And�randir
Treyagorn raises a brow at Gandakal. �see that you don�t!� she mutters. She looks at the assembled Fellowship. Stariadoc, in trouble with Rufrond again for not staying off the purple velvet carpet, looks like she�s planning something with Windegrin. Feolcdo and Samroh are off to one side, as is Eomir. Gimlana and Berolas are on opposite sides. "Come on, you lot, let�s get started. Feolcdo, we wait for you." Treyagorn moves aside to let Feolcdo take the lead with Gandakal.
Pellakal
*Gandakal strokes his cheek stubble* Oh yes, and be sure to take the path on the right this time Feolcdo. You remember what happened last time. *he ponders his words* Or was it the left path? I swear I can�t remember...
Hawk
Well let�s take the right path, as err... you can�t go wrong? *Felcdo breaks out his trusty fling and waves it in the direction of the path* I guess thats the way we go! *As he takes his little freshman steps out the gate one step closer to Fourthfloor, the dreaded home of papershcretter, with Gandakal and the rest of the Fellowship right behind him*
Winddancer
After finally getting, where they were going (or so she pretended) Windegrin dicussed with Stariadoc about the importance of bringing many many lunchboxes along for the vacation..er..trip..er..thing. Windegrin hurries over to Felcdo and Gandakal, ready to go on this ...er .. thing.
Starfire
*grumbles under the weight of so many lunchboxes and agrees with Windegrin* Aye, pain in the back they are...now we�ve got to go into the gloom of Firstflooria with them! *grumblegrumble* Lead the way, dear Gandakal! I�m much too short to be of much use here..I say, what�s that in the big pool of ink behind us...?
Pellakal
Right ho! *says Gandakal* On to the... er right! Unless anyone has a better idea? *he looks hopeful* No? Oh well. *And they start off. Gandakal turns his head and speaks to Stariadoc* And NO ROCKS, you two! You must, under no circumstances throw rocks or unused pen nibs or any other writing implements into any vast pools of ink that are likely to be inhabited by... *splash* .. bother. Never mind then.
Starfire
*guilty grins* Er...sorry about that, master Gandakal! Uh oh....*watches ripples that were not caused by her pen nib* Help! The Writer in the Ink!!!
Hawk
Well Err... *Acckkk, as he takes little freshman strides towards danger, and following right behind Gandakal* I feel we are being watched Gandakal, And do you hear that *xeroxing noises echoing from the deep* I fear we have been discovered, *as dial tones, and busy signals resound off the walls*
Trey And�randir
LOOKOUT!!!*Treyagorn dives to the floor as the Writer in the Ink appears. with multiple arms, the thing appears to be scribbling in many places at once; scribbling complete nonsense* Get inside, everyone!! Eomir and I will handle this!! *Treyagorn uncaps Gelduril and starts drawing on the Writer.* Yah, take THAT!
Lanahar
*Gimlana steps up, not listening to Treyagorn�s orders to get inside. She looks up at the Treyagorn and Eomir.* Surely, you didn�t think that I was going to scurry off like a freshman from the principal�s office just because of some Writer in the Ink, did you? *Gimlana takes her hacks and jumps right in front of the Writer. She starts replacing the gibberish and nonsense with clear sentences, and proper grammar; the Writer seems to be pained by this.*
Trey And�randir
*Treyagorn sticks her tongue out at Gimlana and starts fixing the Writer�s crummy penmanship, so that it�s actually legible.* Haha!! YEEK! *Treyagorn suddenly finds herself grabbed by two of the Writer�s arms and pulled up out of the ink* EOMIR!!!! GET OVER HERE!!! *Treyagorn keeps on fixing like mad, trying to get free*
Starfire
*gulps and scurries into the gate of Firstflooria, but not before one of the Writer�s flailing pens scratches a trail of ink down her arm* I�m sorry, Gandakal! Didn�t mean to stir the Writer, but well, you know...*winces as she steps on something in Firstflooria�s gateway*
Pellakal
*Gandakal just sighs and hands his top hat to Windagrin* Hold this. *he then raises his staff and speaks aloud an incantation* Edro hi ammen, Shackwell Beforeuse lasto beth lammen! *and a huge spray of Bic White-out flies at the scribbling Writer. The Writer panics, and lets go of Treyagorn.* Into the Foor! *yells Gandakal, turning and running *splat* into the unopened door of the Floor.*
Trey And�randir
*treyagorn scrambles to her feet, then rolls her eyes at Gandakal* You have to OPEN the thing first!! *She looks at the plaque on the door* Hmm...according to this, the opening word is "Recess"...*The doors creak open* INSIDE QUICK!!! *Treyagorn grabs Gandakal and Feolcdo and sprints inside, dumping them unceremoniously on the floor and goes back for the others*GET IN THERE, YOU LOT!!
Winddancer
*Dumbfounded by the sudden apperance of the the Writer, Windegrin just stands there with Gandakals top hat in her hands. She snaps out of it though when Gandakal smacks into the closed door* Hmm wonder why he did that? *Windegrin quickly takes her backpack off and finds three erasers which she starts throwing a the Writer*
Hawk
*is yanked inside the gate along with the rest of the companions as the writer unscrupulously erases the door, leaving the stunned but safe Under classmen all safely out of harms way (and the upper classman too).* That was close as he notes there are only 8 of them, the situation however is remedied when Feolcdo draws a door, which Windegrin promptly opens and erases.* Err... Sorry Windegrin, you just seemed to be having so much fun? errr...
Lanahar
*Gimlana looks indignantly at Treyagorn when she comes to hurry everyone inside.* I will put myself through those doors by myself, thank you very much. No need to help me when I have my own two feet on which to walk. *She quickly walks indoors, muttering something about throwing dwarves, students or not, being sacrilegious to all things ME.*
*After the door is closed, she starts in on a story.* Ahh, Firstflooria, I remember my sister�s daugher�s cousin thrice removed once dwelled here. Let us find my distant kin, the Janidurin�s folk, so that we may be led through Firstflooria safely.
Winddancer
Sticks her tongue out at Feolcdo Hey how about some light in here? Can anyone find the lightswitch?
Trey And�randir
Who needs a lightswitch when I KNOW Gandakal has a flashlight in his backpack. Come on, you, fish it out! *Treyagorn says, looking pointedly at the RA* And as for you, my good sophomore, someone had to do something, or you�d�ve stayed there �till seventh period. Gandakal, haven�t you found that blasted flashlight YET?!
Pellakal
*With a flash and a bang, Gandakal returns, takes his top hat from Windegrin, and rummages through the hat looking for his flashlight.* Bother. I think I left my torch in... oh! Never mind! *he pulls out a large black flashlight and flips the swich a few times.* It won�t work. HAHA! Just kidding.... *The old RA looks at the unamused crowd* Um.. never mind. On we go then. Follow my nose!
Winddancer
Yea right, his nose is practically already in Fourthflooria! All we need to do is catch up now hahaha. Ahem, sorry Gandakal....oi. Hiding her grin, she hurries after the group, deep into the room and hides behind Treyagorn.
Hawk
*His nose just passed book four though, you can�t be that far wrong!* On we must go then! There are many rooms in Firstfloria, a veritable labyrinth, in which day and night are lost in the dull glow of flourescent lighting! *how scary! * *as he keeps his gel pen fling on the ready*
Pellakal
*And so, the fellowship of the student body moves through the long dark of the Fourthflooria, the electricty having been cut last quarter. Gandakal pulls aside Feolcdo and speaks softly to him* Now then, my boy, before we go any further, I want to say this to you. See that laddie a few paces back down the hall? That�s Failing, once called Cheatol. I know, it is a pity he did not get an F, but let me tell you this: Many that get F�s deserve A�s, and many that recieve A�s deserve F�s. Be not too quick to deal out jugdment and final grades. There are other powers at work in this University besides that of the Faculty. And that is a comforting thought. Now then! We must catch up to the others!
Trey And�randir
[Pel? it�s FIRSTfloria...]
Treyagorn glances back, then rolls her eyes, grabs both Gandakal and Feolcdo by the collar and drags them up to join the others. "Can we stay together now? Please?!" She swipes Gandakal�s flashlight, shakes it once or twice, then turns it on. immediately a small beam of light issues from it. She gives Gandakal a dirty look and walks on.
Pellaka
l(Ok, um, scratch that then. Onto... SIXTHflooria !!)
Starfire
*head spinning with all of the Flooria�s, Stariadoc grabs hold of Gandakal�s huge nose and hangs off it, so that there�s no possible way to get lost.* As long as you can breathe, dear Gandakal...you do know where you�re going, don�t you?
Winddancer
I�m hungry! Is it time for second breakfast yet? Huh?
Pellakal
*Gandakal, with a certain hobbit swinging delightfully from his nose, halts the company before three doors. One says Women, another says Men, and the third says Continue To Fourthflooria - This Way. Gandakal stops and ponders the three doors.* I have no memory of this. They must have installed them recently. My nose would tell me to bypass Men and Women, but what do you all say? er, ah, "ACHOO!"
Trey And�randir
Treyagorn sighs. "Well, if we go into the one marked �Women� not all of us can go. Same if we go through the one marked �Men�. So I say we go through the one marked �Fourthfloor this way�. Let�s move...And Stariadoc, get OFF of Gandakal�s nose!" Treyagorn grabs the errant freshman, pulls her off Gandakal, and continues on, muttering.
Winddancer
Are we there yet? I�m hungry..
Pellakal
*Pulls a packege of Cram crisps, and tosses them to the ever hungry freshman.* Here, it is the food of the men of the caffeteria! Eat it! Eat it!
Winddancer
Catches the cram crisps and happily munches away, and with her mouth full she asks: Are we there yet?
Starfire
*dislodged from her convientient position on Gandakal�s hooter, Stariadoc gets up grumbling and continues along with the rest of the Fellowship, through the "Fourthflooria this way" door.* Hey, I�m hungry too! *takes the Cram crisp that was about to enter Windegrin�s mouth. Munching, she says* So, when do we get our packet of crayons that was promised us for coming along, eh, eh?
Winddancer
Totally upset over losing her cram crisp, Windegrin throws a large pebble into the ventilation systems causing an awesome rucus OOOPPPSS Wasn�t me!
Pellakal
*The iritable RA turns around at the sudden loud sound of the pebble falling through the drainage system of the Fourthfloor* Ho!? What was that? You Wingdegrin? Fool of a freshman! Do you want to wake the dreaded Piprog? Eh? Eh? I thought not! *grumbles about cram and crayons for a bit, then continues walking, waving his torch about*
Winddancer
Soooorryy
Starfire
*throws Windegrin a haughty, laughing look that says �hahaha�* Told you you shouldn�t have thrown that pebble in there! *before Windegrin can point out that she actually hadn�t, Stariadoc promptly gags her. Then she fished around in Gandakal�s pack until she finds the much-sought-after packet of crayons and, taking a large red one out, scrawls on the walls as she passes* Er, just so if we go around in circles, we know which way we took before...
Hawk
*Feolcdo calmy sidles up from the rear, his script in complete tatters, plot and storyline completely lost on him*. One cannot possibly think a Piprog dwells in Writer�s Doom (as it is known to the Sophmore�s in their own tongue) *but like any freshman he is distracted by the thought of food, and grabs some cram* Hrmmmm... Better then Cafeteria Food!
Pellakal
"BUMP" *Gandakal spins around* What�s that sound? Gahh! I am getting fidgety!
Trey And�randir
Treyagorn, after having given Windegrin a very dirty look, blinks as she sees a shaft of light entering from a single, unshuttered window. It�s falling in a room, onto a rather large desk. She cocks her head, fingering her black-and-silver two-tone glitter gelpen Gelduril. "Oy, Gandakal, what�s that?" Glancing at Eomir, she asks "What d�you think it is?"
Pellakal
*Gandakal gazes in horror upon the desk, and reads aloud the name plaque that sits upon it.* Here is inscribed in the tongue of Students and Faculty: "Jandorin, Lord of the Janitors of the Firstflooria. Office hours 10-7 MWF" *Gandakal lets out a deep sigh* So it is, Jandorin has met his doom.