Fighting

December 25, 2000. Tonight, I fought a battle. It was a good day; off from work and with my family. But we watched a couple of movies, and they had some scenes they shouldn't have. Now, these were tame scenes, mind you, at least in the world's eyes. But it really doesn't take much, I assure you. So, I found myself fighting the Enemy tonight. He had a conversation with me, and asked me to go back to my wallowing in the mud. I should never have allowed him to have a conversation with me. So, I shut off the conversation, shouted him down with about five songs about Christian warfare, and so far have moved on. It's almost 11:00 where I am, on day 93. I don't know if this battle is over for the night or not, but I do know that the war will rage on.

Next chat: Thursday, 12/28

Since Thanksgiving, I've been hosting this website to help men who want to escape sexual impurity, as well as working in other ways on the Internet, primarily through Yahoo chat. You can find me at random times in Yahoo's "Christian Singles'" room, but I've also announced some times when I'd be online to talk to interested people. This has been going quite well, and I think several of us have been really encouraged from it. (I know I have.) The next chat session will be Thursday, 12/28 at 7:00 P.M. (Please note that I live in the United States, in the Central time zone, and take your own time zone differences into account.) Go to Yahoo's chat site using the link above, and sign up for an anonymous account. Click into the set of rooms on religion, and then click into the "User Rooms" section. I'll be there in a room called "Men Struggling for Purity." We'll talk about an hour if the Lord wills.

Wait. It's 4:30, and I just found out I might be a little late. However, I'll plan on going two hours tonight for a change!

Fleeing immorality

I'm calling myself Purity Warrior. I'm a man. Like every other man since Adam, I've had to learn to control myself sexually in order to be pleasing to God. This page exists because I want to help other men learn how to do the same thing.

I'm a member of the church of Christ. I believe God has given us the Bible as His message to all mankind, and in that message He makes certain demands of us. Nobody except for Jesus Christ has ever met all of those demands, but Jesus gives us the privilege of being forgiven if we choose, as well as the power to overcome sin. I'm living proof.

A lot of men fight a silent battle against sexual temptation. We can't control our eyes. We look at every tight piece of clothing, every exposed bit of flesh. We can't control our minds. Externally, we may look pure, but inside we're off committing adultery in our hearts. That's exactly what Jesus said.

If you're like me, you've started wondering if you can really attain to God's standard of a higher life. You're tired of living a double life, attending church three times a week, preaching the Gospel to your friends ... and succumbing to pornography and masturbation every night when no one is looking.

I'm here to tell you that you can fight and win the battle for sexual purity! You don't need therapy. You don't need drugs. You don't even need to pray harder, worship harder, or believe harder. What you need to do is learn what makes you tick, and learn how to turn off certain ticks, that is, change your habits.

I'd like this website to be a resource center for men struggling with these problems. I'm hoping to find a free message board I can set up where we can all post messages to each other and help each other. I'm hoping to collect some good links. I'm hoping to stage some online chats so we can talk together with men facing the same problems.

Links and other resources

Here's some written help to get you started. I prefer to give material from the church of Christ, because I believe it is the church of the Bible. However, I'm not opposed to giving denominational resources.

If you are serious about making a change in your life, I think it is very important that you read writings like these. I recommend the top three items below because I have found them to be extremely helpful. I'm slowly building up a larger list, but so far these have been the best.

• The X-rated series This is a series of six sermons preached by David Chadwell at the West Arkansas church of Christ. (I am not a member of this congregation.) The last two are the best, but they work best in order. Brother Chadwell talks about the causes of sexual immorality in society and what God's church can do about it. The information I found here was invaluable, and the encouragement was indispensible in making my choice to live a life of sexual purity.
• Pure Intimacy This is a denominational website. It is run by Focus on the Family, the group run by James Dobson. Dr. Dobson has some excellent books on many topics. This website focuses specifically on the issue of online pornography, and while my problems were not limited to online pornography, I learned a lot here that has helped me.
• Every Man's Battle This book is written by a couple of denominational men who won the battle for sexual purity. One of them was raised totally areligious. After he became a Protestant, he quit having sex, but after he got married, he was still looking at lingerie ads and so on. I ordered this book at the end of my fifth week of avoiding masturbation. It arrived in the middle of the sixth, and I discovered that most of what I was doing was exactly what he advised! It was great to hear that I was on the right track, and the rest of his advice helped me realize how I must tighten up my standards in order to be sexually pure. The best news to me was that this man felt that on average, it took about six weeks to establish habits of sexual purity. What timing! You can obtain this book from any religious bookseller, I'm sure. I recommend "Christian" Book Distributers. They are a denominational organization.
• I had a book recommended to me the other night called Breaking Free by Russell Willingham. I don't know anything about it myself, but the man who recommended it said it really helped him.

Online Chat

I've been having some scheduled online chat sessions about this subject for any men willing to show up and discuss. Maybe I can help you finally break the cycle you're in. Sessions take place using Yahoo! Chat, so stop by and sign up for an anonymous account for yourself and stop back by here to see what dates and times the next session(s) are scheduled. Email me and let me know you're interested.

Email me!

Hey, the best way out is to talk to someone. All of us men fight this battle. Really. You're not a sex pervert, and you're not a sex addict. Your preacher and elders have fought this battle. Jesus Christ had to fight this battle. You just have a bad habit you need to learn to break. My email address for discussing this issue is [email protected]. Let me hear from you!

Purity count

I'm hoping the following count never decreases. As of 12/25/00, it's been 93 days since I last gratified myself. There's only been three other times in my life I ever lasted more than six weeks (I'm 22), so this is an incredible accomplishment to me!