Ribbed for Your Pleasure

One late night not too long ago I found myself writhing in the clutches of a grocery store blood pressure screening machine. Despite my less-than-healthy diet, my numbers have always hovered pretty low. Perhaps it’s the resistance training or the resistance to booze and smokes. So why, pray tell, did this machine put my numbers much higher than anything I have ever had before?

Maybe, just maybe, it has to do with the Sunday barbecue lunches. The pork steaks served with a side of brisket. The pork ribs and a half of chicken slathered in sauce that has become a new Sunday ritual. If you want to find me in on the Sabbath, don’t bother looking among a crowded congregation dressed to the nines, just check out a gas station, restaurant or deli that serves a barbecue plate lunch. I’ll be the one in the elastic pants.

So just how did this mess all start? Well, don’t blame me, my appetite or my boss, but Times’ readers. See, last year readers picked the best barbecue joints in town for our Best Of Acadiana Readers Poll. And let’s just say that, while I can’t fault you for choosing Dwight’s as the choicest hog, the other winners were less than admirable. Word has always been that the best place to find the best food is not a restaurant but a grocery store or deli. So why did Luther’s and Sonny’s take second and third place?

Maybe you just don’t know where to go. So, we here at The Times, decided that I should go out looking for all the unmentioned, and perhaps out of the way, meateries, serving the best shoot-the-cook, unbutton-the-pants, say-good-bye-to- your-figure smoked meats. In the meantime, expect a bill for a triple bypass. And learn from your mistakes. I don’t think I can do this again.

Dwight's: (4800 Johnston St., 981-1241) We begin with the one that would be king - according to readers. I'll give you readers one thing, I never knew this crawfish joint did Sunday barbecue until you told me. That may just be your saving grace. Dwight's might just be the best in town. If there is far better barbecue, I'm not sure I want to know about it. My favorite - pork ribs - are done up so right it hurts, even though they had the chine bone trimmed. I think they should devise a new name for them, because when you slice into the rack, the meat just slides off and if you try to pick up a bone it will come apart in your hands. In other words, gone is the bone. For further investigation, the pork steak also passed the test, but should also be renamed to butter, cause it just freakin' melts away. The brisket on the other hand, could have been a little less chewy. As for the sauce, I really didn't care for it, but it is not needed and, wise pit masters that they are, keep it aside at your discretion. Having sampled these pit products I now know why Dwight's took top honors, even though they only serve barbecue for three hours a week. Grade: A+

A&B Henderson Bar-B-Q Lodge: (2601 S.E. Evangeline Thruway, 264-1373) If there is one spot that might be better than Dwight's, it's this hidden gem off the Thruway. A&B Henderson has been around forever, even before Gator Cove, its more well-known sister restaurant. Word around the slow fire is that its quality had slipped a while back, but the return of the original family bailed it out. If it wasn't for the good-gawd!-punch-your-mama grub, this place would get points just for looking like a Texas barbecue joint alone. All sorts of tools hang on the walls, alongside a hornets' nest and a plaque of Texas with different types of barbed wire. The food here is served with unlimited sides for real cheap. Things you will want to look for: 1) Ribs, which are spare ribs and even more tender and fall apart than Dwight's. 2) Brisket, comes nearly chipped to pieces but still better than most on the market. 3) Pork loin, juicy and tender, a little different choice. 4) The chicken, which is darn tasty, tender and juicy. There's also a Bomber Sandwich which comes with your choice of brisket, pork loin or sausage (also another good choice). All of A&B Henderson's cuts come flavored by a smoky grill, so you won't need sauce. However, A&B has some of the best traditional sauce in town. So have a little with, have a little without. After the fattening up, stroll off some of those pounds and walk down the hill to see the live alligators. Just don't wind up on their lunch menu. Grade: A+

Took's: (3103 C Johnston St., 988-6657) Sometimes you got to go to the source to get the best. That's why I thought Took's meat market would be a fine selection for one Sunday. While Took's ain't exactly falling off the bone, it is more tender than others. The flavor, on the other hand, was pretty good and loaded with some spicy tang. All in all, a not a bad choice for those afraid of gas stations. Grade: B

Ruby's: (315 Rue Louis XIV) On Sunday this restaurant fires up the old smoker and chars some meat. Although it wasn't exactly tender, their selections did earn points for being grease-free and a little on the tasty side. Everyone in this town prepares brisket a little bit different. Some come across like a roast, some are chunky chips or others just right. While I liked the cut of the meat, there wasn't enough of it and what was there was pretty dry and flavorless. Ruby's ribs and pork steak salvaged their reputation a little, but not enough to warrant a second trip. Also the sauce was way too basic store-bought tomato. Grade: C

Country Cuisine: (709 N. University St., 269-1653) Now this is what I am talking about! This place doesn't have to wait 'til the weekend to do barbecue right. The spare ribs were obscenely good, well-sauced and just a tad spicy. You read that right, they sauced their food and I didn't mind. It is a mild blend that doesn't overpower the flavor of the grill, just enhances it. There was also a little fat, but not enough to get riled up about. The chicken, on the other hand, was tender but not the tastiest. In fact, it is best avoided. Next time, I will make room for their Sunday brisket. P.S. Not a bad stop for soul food. Grade: with chicken, B+; hold the chicken gimme some more ribs, A.

Smokin' Joe's: (in Chevron, 600 E. Kaliste Saloom Road, 237-8575) Downtown lost out when Smokin' Joe's pulled out of the joint it had occupied on Jefferson Street. However, the Downtown location never did justice to getting it straight from the source - the Chevron on Kaliste Saloom. For $3.50 a meat (or around $8 for a plate lunch) you can stunt your vertical growth with some damn fine, pit-flavored cuts. Joe ain't got nothin' to hide and no sauce to hide it with, only a little bit of baste. I opted for half a chicken, a pork steak and a link of sausage (to share, of course). The heap of meat actually broke the Styrofoam container it came in. The taste broke my mind. Slightly spicy and all-out smoky, it has a hearty, warm taste all its own that sticks with you all day. Hands down, the best chicken in town - falling apart every bite, juicy, tender and decked out in taste. The pork steak came damn close to knocking Dwight's off the top spot. The sausage, not my usual favorite, showed up ready to rumble as a juicy consolidated meat, packed with smoky goodness that kept me burping all day. This is such fine swine it could make a Muslim change his name to "John Smith." On another trip, they offered ribs that had small bones that the meat promptly fell off of. A little chewy, but not a factor, as they were smacking with flavor. On a later visit, the ribs improved vastly, bringing them up a few points. My only beefs are that there was no beef and they're not open on weekends or at night. Grade: A+

Mathilda's Country Kitchen: (611 St. Mary Road, Eunice, 546-0329) According to some, the trip to Eunice for this swine is the Mecca of all barbecue journeys. I was promised religious experiences. I think I would have been better going in blind. I arrived an hour before closing time at a place that serves slow-cooked meat. That in itself is a mistake (do the math). While, a little disappointing it is still well above par. Mine was piping hot and drowning in Jack Millers-eque sauce. The ribs were all right, the sausage was better, the pork steak was best. Don't forget about the chicken, a tasty and tender bird, indeed. Great sides, too, all served up in a tray ˆ la school cafeteria or prison. That in itself should be an indicator. Even if it wasn't, if it is good enough for Snoop Dogg and Daz, whose autographed mugs hang on the wall, it works for me. Grade: A

Lil' Daddy's Bar-B-Q: (1339 S.E. Evangeline Thruway, 261-5253) For a chain located in a Chevron, this place ain't half bad. Compare it to some of the barbecue restaurants in town and it shines. The barbecue enthusiast will delight in the moderately tender cuts and the decent sauce. Check out the combo: half a chicken and ribs - St. Louis or baby rack unfortunately - for a little bit of both worlds. The pulled pork sandwich also earns points and might just steal the show. Avoid the sliced beef. Grade: C+

Pop 'n' Go: (2301 Ambassador Caffery Parkway, 989-9556) Can't decide if this gas station on Ambassador Caffery is called Spence's Deli or Krewe De Barbecue, but I can tell you they offer up a nice selection of slow-cooked surprises on Saturday and Sunday. My two picks are the pork steaks and country style ribs, both of which you could rip apart with your hands if you wanted to - and I have. While the ribs have a great flavor, they are country style so they are real fatty. But you didn't come here to watch your figure, did you? The sauce is mildly basted on, but not overall saucy, just about right. There's also tender-as-a-baby's-thigh sausage that is a tad spicy and nice. While it is cooked over an open flame and not exactly barbecue, check out the Saturday ribeye. Get there early (around 11 a.m.) and you can tell them how want it cooked. Hands down the best gas station ribeye. I know that is like saying the prettiest ugly girl in school, but trust me, it's worth it. Grade: B

Norbert's: (521 Avenue C, Broussard, 837-6704) Two things to remember when dealing with this simple Broussard eatery a neck bone's throw from the Thruway: only barbecue on Thursday and the sausage is not for consumption. The ribs, on the other hand, fare better with a smoky, almost ashy, taste. The sides run a little more soul food than most plate lunches. Otherwise, the epitome of neighborhood soul and barbecue joint. The regular plate lunches might outshine Thursday's choices. Grade: C+

Lebouef's Deli & Catering: (3450 W. Pinhook Road, Broussard, 837-9856) Broussard turns out for Sunday plate lunches at this restaurant. The menu even brought a few folks I know from the big city. Before you get in line and make your choice, be sure to save room for their homemade pralines in Ziploc bags by the register. It's hard to when the ribs are tender, tasty and subtlety spiced. The pork steak needs to start heading to the gym with the lean cut brisket, but both choices are still high earners for their taste. All this and tangy and chunky sauce on the side. Worth the trip. Grade: B

Breaux's Mart: (2600 Moss St., 234-44298) And the award for most creative meats on the grill goes to Breaux's Mart. Call in on a weekend and game hen might just be on the slow-cooked menu. Unfortunately, the Sunday I stopped by there was only the usual fare, but it did fare well. There's two selling points for Breaux's chicken and ribs: flavor and price. I am not saying that it's dry and tough, but it stayed on the bone until I gnawed it off. It tastes of a delicate balance of spice. The chicken actually outdid the ribs, tasting so backyard I looked for a pool. Price, as I mentioned, remained low even with double meat. Grade: B

The Pig Stand: (318 E. Main St., Ville Platte, 363-2883) Did ya ever fall for that pretty girl with the curly hair that lived three towns away and gave you loving like none closer? Now you know how I feel about the Pig Stand. Usually, I'm not big on sauce that toes the Jack Miller line, but their blend is a step above. It's a little redder than Miller's and a bit bolder. Almost a blend of Texas and Louisiana sauce styles. While I can't write home to Mama about the tenderness of my baby's ribs and pork steak, damn, she's got a fine taste. Over all, her whole house is just cool. White bricks, ceramic pigs burgers cooking right in front of you. It lives up. Ask Mom for gas money and head out. Heartbreak and wandering apetites: there's at least two joints I want to try on the 90-mile round trip. Grade: B+

Poche's Market & Restaurant: (3015-A Main Highway, Breaux Bridge, 332-2108) It's usually a pretty good sign when you roll up on a place and blinged-out Benzies sit next to beat-down work trucks. Those folks might have been there for Poche's legendary boudin, cracklin' or fist-sized pralines. There's merit to this barbecue (Wednesday, Saturday, Sunday) and there's merit to their plate lunches, but for me it wasn't worth the trip. Your choices are chicken, ribs, stuffed pork chops and ribeyes, depending on the day. I picked the ribs and stuffed pork chop. The ribs' cut was one I had never seen. Almost like a loin with a bone. Good seasonings, but nothing to fill up on so as to not have room for pralines. The chops were better, I'd say. I think I picked the wrong day, as they offer a Sunday menu that's supposedly been a tradition for more than 30 years - chicken, pork steak and sausage. Grade: B

Diane's Market & Grocery: (6028 Highway182, Opelousas, 942-9077) One Saturday I stumbled upon this place on a little back road and decided to give it a shot. It's north of Bellevue, right past the Opelousas Stud sign. On this Saturday, I showed up at before their peak time and the menu was limited to pork chop and pork steak. A creature of habit who feels barbecue should be special, I went with the latter. As I left, I saw who must have been the "Jack" to the namesake Diane working up the next batch on his pit and smoker outside. Nice to see they keep it small. The smell drifting out of the Styrofoam box drove me nuts as I sped home. It was worth any ticket I could have gotten. Good and tender, spicy and flavorful. Can't write home about the sides, but at $4.50, quite a steal and a definite contender for Dwight's title. All this and wax lips, including vampire, for the kiddies! Just don't bounce a check or use a fake ID - they'll post it. Grade: B+

Allison's Hickory Pitt: (501 W. Laurel Ave., Eunice, 457- 9218) Sometimes you can judge a book by its cover. This shack looks like the cut-off-nubbin corner of a building. There are no tables, strictly take out. They don't have receipts and only accept in-town checks and cash. Orders are taken on whatever paper is handy. This weekend, a paper bag. The barbecue is pretty damn fine. They were out of ribs (a sign that they are choice) but did offer chicken, sausage, pork steak and brisket. The chicken and pork steak were fair, with the pork lean and slightly gristly here and there. The sausage, juicy, spicy and right. The true champion here is the brisket. There wasn't a whole lot of flavor other than the beef, but it was fine. Tender, juicy and lean, it went great with their sauce, which is the most unique of my travels. A mix of sweet, different and chopped onions, perhaps a sort of a thin Jack Miller's - but not really. Grab some, head somewhere and picnic. Grade: B

Veron's Butcher Block: (2116 Anse Broussard Highway, Breaux Bridge, 332-2433) Someone suggested this counter in a truck stop and I shrugged. By the time I was done with their chicken I was converted. I had my doubts and really thought I would be sitting down with a baked half, with Heinz on top, but it was actually a grilled product with its own unique and tangy sauce. This was a Monday, and chicken was served alongside round steak and red beans and rice. Sundays have more choices, which I am going to wager are worthy. If they don't have what you want, visit bins of meat made up just so and do it yourself. Grade: B

Hot Spot: (810 Maude Ave., Abbeville, 893-5792) This Abbeville neighborhood watering hole puts the bar in barbecue. Stop by any day other than Sunday and the only thing smoked is lots and lots of cigarettes. However, on Sunday it becomes a uniter, not a divider with Church-going black people, plain-clothes white folks and, on this day at least, leather-clad bikers. I can only imagine how good the ribs are - they sold out by 11 a.m. The pork chop had a nice basted-on spice as did the chicken, which came without skin so the flavor was directly on the meat. That bird was tender and had a very home-cooked feel. The sides also were above par, obviously not from a can. I was disappointed by the sausage, which had a tough as leather casing and a strong taste. Grade: B

Freedom Tobacco & Deli: (7992 Maurice Ave., Maurice, 892-0680) In America you have the right to get your vices at the same place ... and at a drive-thru window. On Sundays, get a box of the pork steak with your carton of smokes; you won't regret it. Although it isn't the most tender in the whole world, it is flavor-basted and a winner. The smoked sausage is fresh and tender. The chicken completely falls apart right before your eyes. All have a nice tingly spice, especially the sausage. Grade: B

Don's Specialty Meats & Grocery: (Highway 726 & Interstate 49 Frontage Road, Carencro, 896-6370) If I didn't mention this meat market off the thruway, I think folks would line up and protest. However, if it didn't have such a strong Sunday following maybe I could have gotten a plate. I would like to tell you about the ribs, stuffed brisket, chicken and other meat niceties they serve, but I waited to the last weekend before my deadline to venture out there and by noon they were out of plate lunches. On Saturdays, pork chop sandwiches don't sound too shabby either. Grade: Incomplete



nick.pittman@timesofacadiana

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