"Females. (Lab Research Notes)."
"THE FEMALE'S PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:   1.  Surface usually covered with a painted smile"
"THE FEMALE'S  PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:   2.  Extremely volatile; boils and freezes without reason"
"THE FEMALE'S  PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:   3.  Undergoes spontaneous dehydrolysis (weeps) for no  detectable reason"
"THE FEMALE'S  PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:   4.  Melts if given special treatment"
"THE FEMALE'S  PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:   5.  Bitter if incorrectly used"
"THE FEMALE'S  PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:   6.  Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to   common ore"
"THE FEMALE'S  PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:   7.  Yields to pressure applied to correct points"
"THE FEMALE'S  PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:   8.  Non-magnetic, but attracted to specific plastic   used in credit cards"
"THE FEMALE'S  CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:  1.  As a great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and  precious stones"
"THE FEMALE'S  CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:  2.  Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances"
"THE FEMALE'S  CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:  3.  May explode spontaneously without prior warning,   and for no known reason"
"THE FEMALE'S  CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:  4.  Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased  by saturation in alcohol"
"THE FEMALE'S  CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:  5.  Most powerful monetary/ego-reducing agent known to man"
"THE FEMALE'S  COMMON USES:   1.  Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars"
"THE FEMALE'S  COMMON USES:   2.  Can be a great aid to relaxation; usually not"
"THE FEMALE'S  COMMON USES:   3.  Used as heating agent, if properly prepared  "
"THE FEMALE'S  COMMON USES:   4.  Has ability to reproduce; use extreme caution"
"THE FEMALE'S  STORAGE:  Best results are obtained if the specimen is aged between   19 and 25 years."
"THE FEMALE'S  TESTS:   1.  Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in a raw, natural state    "
"THE FEMALE'S  TESTS:   2.  Turns green when placed beside a better specimen"
"THE FEMALE'S  HAZARDS:  1.  Migrates in groups of similar species; generally  congregating in frenzied packs around malls"
"THE FEMALE'S  HAZARDS:  2.  Highly dangerous except in experienced hands"
"THE FEMALE'S  HAZARDS:  3.  Use extreme care if experiments are to succeed"
"THE FEMALE'S  HAZARDS:  4.  While in possession of one specimen, it is highly  unwise to attempt to obtain another"
"THE FEMALE'S  HAZARDS:  5.  If specimen begins to boil, leave immediately"
"THE FEMALE'S  HAZARDS:  6.  Appropriate protective attire is required to complete  satisfactory conclusions"
