Overthrowing Mickey
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That goddamn Mickey Mouse is
so friggin smug. Damn his fuckin ass to
hell. Look at him with the
la-dee-da attitude the 'I'm the star-I'm
so great' fuckin smile on his
retched face. It makes me wanna throw
up inside this Goofy costume of
which I've been condemned. GOOFY!
Just the name alone is an
embarrassment. A dorky dog sidekick to the
great Mickey- a dumbfuck
mutt. Lie at your feet great master? May I?
He even gets a girl mouse to
suck his dick. What do I get? I get
kids throwing rocks at me and
little girls who are frightened and run
away crying... into HIS
arms- where HE is always waiting with the
big hug. It's ok little
one... Mickey is here he'll save you from the
horrible Goofy dog. And
these fuckin hick tourists (anyone who goes
to Disney is a hick as far as
I'm concerned) walking about with the
dumb ears on their head.
They love him. Me? I'm dorky canine who
sells 9% of the merchandise that
The Big M moves. Nine fuckin
percent! Anyway... all of
this will change today. I've been working
it out.
The Dumbo ride is one of the
oldest in the park- a pretty lonesome
looking, decrepit spinny ride
with spiderarms and elephant carts- but
it still pulls a crowd. I
think the thing is a death trap. Mickey
the Great occasionally wanders
over to escape the mayhem of inner park
and visit with the stragglers
that prefer the classic ride. I have
secreted myself behind the hot
dog shack and watch him give out his
blessed hugs and tickles- being
worship liked the goddamn Pope! By
the way, I forgot to mention
that I was fired from the park a few
weeks back but haven't
left. I've been living in the shadows and
havent taken off the suit.
Not even to shit. The aroma is pretty
rough and the suit is filthy but
I think it's fitting for a loser like
Goofy dog. Anyway...
there is a low fence next to the Dumbo ride
protecting the crowd from the
spinning motor which runs the Dumbo
ride. The gears grind
metal on metal and produce a horribly pitched
death noise. At least to
me. I watch the Mr. Mouse wander closer to
groaning gears- and I launch
myself.
Nothing like a filthy
stinking dog-suited sicko screaming and running
out of the shadows toward a
superstar mouse. I glance at the crowd
and see only open mouthed
gaukers some kids laugh and some cry. THe
emotional balance between
happiness and terror is so close in a
child's mind. The kids
around Mickey scatter as I speed toward my
nemesis screaming my doghead
off. He looks at me with that
'everything is peachy' grin and
I hit him with a lowered shoulder and
scoop him off the ground.
He gives out a grunt and yells, (Mickey
yells!) in a Brooklyn accent.
"Hey Man! What the fuck!!!" Perfect last
words for a uptight
dicklicker. I pick Mickey up off my shoulder as I
run toward the gate. I'm
finding the strength. With both arms
straight up I have the squirming
furry scumbag over my head and I huck
him into the gears of the
ride.
A moment of silence as he
flies to the air yelling "AUUUuuuygG!"
Then... <GROOWMP!> The
gears catch hold and suck him in fast. The
suit explodes in what looks like
a mixture of lasngna with tomato
sauce and meat chunks. The
children are splattered with the blood and
guts of their 'hero' and they
all scream. The crunching smushy noise
of the murder of Mickey is like
backwards beautiful music. The gears
of the machine pop Mickey's head
off and it flies over the fence and
lands at my feet. I pick
it up by one ear and hold it over my head
showing it to the crowd. The
crowd steps back and gasps at the filthy
bloody stinking Goofy who has
killed their pride and joy- their eyes
go to the horror which is their
beheaded cartoon god. Who has the
attention now dead fuck!? Huh?!
The human head inside the Mickey head
slides out of the neck and flops
down at my feet- it falls like a shit
from a gross ass. I kick it
toward the crowd finally exposing the
great one for the fraud he was-
as the Dumbo ride behind me continues
to run- splattering the riding
children with the blood and flesh of
their fallen rodent king.
sest