Overthrowing Mickey

     That goddamn Mickey Mouse is so friggin smug.  Damn his fuckin ass to
     hell.  Look at him with the la-dee-da attitude the 'I'm the star-I'm
     so great' fuckin smile on his retched face.  It makes me wanna throw
     up inside this Goofy costume of which I've been condemned.  GOOFY!
     Just the name alone is an embarrassment.  A dorky dog sidekick to the
     great Mickey- a dumbfuck mutt.  Lie at your feet great master? May I?
     He even gets a girl mouse to suck his dick.  What do I get?  I get
     kids throwing rocks at me and little girls who are frightened and run
     away crying...  into HIS arms-  where HE is always waiting with the
     big hug. It's ok little one...  Mickey is here he'll save you from the
     horrible Goofy dog.  And these fuckin hick tourists (anyone who goes
     to Disney is a hick as far as I'm concerned) walking about with the
     dumb ears on their head.  They love him.  Me?  I'm dorky canine who
     sells 9% of the merchandise that The Big M moves.  Nine fuckin
     percent!  Anyway... all of this will change today.  I've been working
     it out.

     The Dumbo ride is one of the oldest in the park- a pretty lonesome
     looking, decrepit spinny ride with spiderarms and elephant carts- but
     it still pulls a crowd.  I think the thing is a death trap.  Mickey
     the Great occasionally wanders over to escape the mayhem of inner park
     and visit with the stragglers that prefer the classic ride.  I have
     secreted myself behind the hot dog shack and watch him give out his
     blessed hugs and tickles- being worship liked the goddamn Pope!  By
     the way, I forgot to mention that I was fired from the park a few
     weeks back but haven't left.  I've been living in the shadows and
     havent taken off the suit.  Not even to shit.  The aroma is pretty
     rough and the suit is filthy but I think it's fitting for a loser like
     Goofy dog.  Anyway...  there is a low fence next to the Dumbo ride
     protecting the crowd from the spinning motor which runs the Dumbo
     ride.  The gears grind metal on metal and produce a horribly pitched
     death noise.  At least to me. I watch the Mr. Mouse wander closer to
     groaning gears- and I launch myself.

     Nothing like a filthy stinking dog-suited sicko screaming and running
     out of the shadows toward a superstar mouse.  I glance at the crowd
     and see only open mouthed gaukers some kids laugh and some cry.  THe
     emotional balance between happiness and terror is so close in a
     child's mind.  The kids around Mickey scatter as I speed toward my
     nemesis screaming my doghead off.  He looks at me with that
     'everything is peachy' grin and I hit him with a lowered shoulder and
     scoop him off the ground.  He gives out a grunt and yells, (Mickey
     yells!) in a Brooklyn accent. "Hey Man! What the fuck!!!" Perfect last
     words for a uptight dicklicker.  I pick Mickey up off my shoulder as I
     run toward the gate.  I'm finding the strength. With both arms
     straight up I have the squirming furry scumbag over my head and I huck
     him into the gears of the ride.

     A moment of silence as he flies to the air yelling "AUUUuuuygG!"
     Then... <GROOWMP!> The gears catch hold and suck him in fast.  The
     suit explodes in what looks like a mixture of lasngna with tomato
     sauce and meat chunks.  The children are splattered with the blood and
     guts of their 'hero' and they all scream.  The crunching smushy noise
     of the murder of Mickey is like backwards beautiful music. The gears
     of the machine pop Mickey's head off and it flies over the fence and
     lands at my feet.  I pick it up by one ear and hold it over my head
     showing it to the crowd. The crowd steps back and gasps at the filthy
     bloody stinking Goofy who has killed their pride and joy- their eyes
     go to the horror which is their beheaded cartoon god.  Who has the
     attention now dead fuck!? Huh?! The human head inside the Mickey head
     slides out of the neck and flops down at my feet- it falls like a shit
     from a gross ass. I kick it toward the crowd finally exposing the
     great one for the fraud he was- as the Dumbo ride behind me continues
     to run- splattering the riding children with the blood and flesh of
     their fallen rodent king.


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