I'm in my car cruising the slut district all slow like. Gotta check out the scene with the hookers and the lights flashy flashy and the kissy kiss neon lips. At a red light a hooker leans in my passenger window and asks if I need a date. I whip out the spraycan, spin it once in my palm then I spray the whole area she is occupying with Lysol and tell her how she's contaminated. It's the law. Right in the eyes the spray sprays. Full blast facial. She's wearing a pink fur coat and high heels and she's all clomp clomp clumsily running holding her eyes all "Ag!ACCH! My EYES!! ACCH!" Out into traffic she scampers. The cars on the road are all screech screechy horns blary avoiding her until one seems to mow her down proper. I hear the crunch and then speed off. The night is young and I’ve got work to do. I decide to park and go into an adult video store. I spray myself down with Lysol before heading in. The guy behind the counter is like all involved with his newspaper and cigarette puffing- as I head in. He's like "$1.00 admission fee." I stare at him and am like "A dollar!? For what?" He's like, "A dollar for looking... pay it or go somewhere else- this is a classy estabishment.." And then he blows his filthy smoke into my face. The Lysol kills all possible infection. I take out a nice crispy dollar and snap it in his face. Out comes the Lysol and I spray the dollar down. He's like "Dont spray that shit in here!" I crumple up the lysoled dollar into a ball and put in my mouth. I smile. The guy is all starey stare like unable to be realizing that I'm about to spit the dollar in his face. I then spit the dollar into his face and am like "There's your fuckin dollar- you stain!" He's like all shocked out stunner face now. The Lysol tastes tangy in my mouth and I can feel it's cleansing action in my sinuses. The cigarette smoking dogboy behind the counter is like grumbling picking up the dollar and smoothing it out all grumble grumble the whole time. I start to browse the store. I see a tape I contemplate enjoying and spray it down with Lysol and then take a look at the back of the box- browsing like. I hear the counter guy all-"Don't spray that shit in here!" I'm like, "Fuck you motherfucker!! I'll spray this shit in your fucking face you mothercock dick suck fucker asshole cock licker testicle gargler asswipe mother cunt sucker cockwang pussy slit buttlicker scumbag bastard fag scuntwaddler greased up monkey shit stain ball scuzz sucker anal intruding piss drinking shit eating faggot!!" He's like all stunner faced again after my impressive tirade and is like looking all scared-like as I run at him- growling. I have my Lysol in one hand and I'm spraying it swirly whirly over my head like some western he-hawer from the channel x cleansing zone. The cigarette he's smoking is like hanging from his lips as I lysol him right in the face. THe flame catches the lysol- the flame catches his hair -and eventually his skin- and up he goes just like in the movies. His whole head is on fire and he's like running around in circles and beating his own head with his palms. I stare at my flame boy creation and watch him char up crispy for a while. I notice a customer who was in the way back of the store is also checking out the flaming spectacle. I hold up the Lysol at him and yell, "You want some of this!!!" He's like "Hell no man!" I give him a squinty stare then turn away. I spray down the doorknob to the store and head out into the neon lights of the new frontier where chemical sprays are the new guns and cattle rustling is replaced by flaming barbecued heads.


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