Customer Served

I work in a computer store.  This guy like comes in acting like he knows computers so I'm eyeing him summin em up as a poser fake computer wiz. Fuckin faker! He wouldn't know his RAMhole from his mothers asshole as I see it.  So he's looking over this one and that one like poking around and acting like he's all swifty with the mouse clicky cliking here and there all zimzang. So I stroll up to him and am like, "Can I help you with something?" And he, "Mr. Customer" ignores me like he's all fucking King Kong Doody of Shitland.  I'm like louder in his ear, "CAN I HELP YOU?!" He turns to me all eyes rolling with,  "I heard you..." So I wander off to gather my thoughts on how to punish this cuntwaddler.  I drift off into a fantasyland of body parts, blood, and screaming for a few minutes but am abruptly called back into reality by the sound of snapping fingers.  I focus my eyes and see that the snapping is occurring right in my face and this fucker is giving me the "Hello! Helllooooo-ooo!" All in my ear.  I click on and turn to him all grinny with a "Yess..." He's like, "Thought I lost you there for a second... I'm interested in the 266 Pentium over here." We stroll over and I ask him what he is going to use the computer for- He's all, "Stuff! OK! Stuff! What do you use your computer for?!"

I tell him how I use it to download naked pictures of his momma with a horse and how I use it to order up gay porno fliks starring his dad and I tell him how his slut sister shows everything in the photos I have- American shot spread out.  He looks at me absolutely stunned.  I ask em, "So youre interested in the 266?" He's like telling me how he's not interested in anything anymore. So I tell him that that is a good thing cause he's gonna be real dead real soon.  I pick up a giant 27" monitor and hold it over my head- he backs up against the counter telling me to relax.  I'm like, "Primo idea! This monitor is fucking heavy!" I smash it down glass first on the top of his head and then kick him in the chest.  He flips backward over counter and lands on his head/monitor.  I peer over the counter and I see him struggling to pull the thing off his head but its glass snagged jagged on his face real tight.  The blood is gushing out from underneath and I hear his little girl whimpers.  He stumbles to his feet, blindly trying to find the door, so and I get behind him, grab his shoulders, and start to run him forward toward the front window- his exit to be. We pick up speed and he starts screaming trying to stop running- but nay. At full steppy speed,  I release him sahmash! through the front window out to the street.  I can hear the screams from the stroller people outside due to the new bloody person invading their leisurely walks.

I see a crowd of gawkers are gathering around the bloody monitor head shredded fucker lying in front of my store, so I decide to put on a real show.  I head back behind my counter I get out the shotgun that I keep in case of robbery.  Chuh-chok it once feeling it’s cool power and run jump through the glassless window. Bloody fucker is lying in the street and a few yokels are trying to help him.  I shoot some old woman in the leg and tell everyone to get the fuck back.  Shattered thigh woman lets out a yelp and collapses, I force her to drag herself away from my customer by kicking her in her new gunhole.  I hear a Mr. Hero teenager rushing at me from behind so I spin take aim and buhboom his head clean off.  His body hit the ground first, then his shell, then his brain. Everyone is screaming including me but I turn my scream into a big 'Shut up!' and everyone does. Distant sirens are getting loud fast. I'm walking in circles around Mr. Mash Monitorhead and kick him in the sides here and there.  Telling him how I love the taste of his momma and telling him how he knows nothing about computers. This I know for a fact!  I lean down and ask him what the difference between a person and a computer is.  He's like stutters out all muffled from his headgear, "A person has emotions! A person has feelings!" I'm like, "Wrong sucker! I’m a P-E-R-S-O-N and I can do this…"  I stand up and put my shotgun against the side of his dumb no nothing about computers bloody monitor head and pull the trigger.  The screams practically drowned out the approaching sirens- I look up and see the cop cars speed to a halt and the doors fly open.  I raise my shotgun and pump the double shot into their swiney windshield.  The glass took the slugs clean with no shatter. A retaliatory explosion of gunfire from yonder and my body starts to tear to pieces in front of my own eyes.  The feeling was quite breathtaking.  I must have taken 25 to 30 bullets before I felt my processor crash.  Nothing like the feeling of a hot bullet bursting through your brain I never say.


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