"Satan, thou Eye, thou Lust!
Satan, thou Eye, thou Lust!
Satan, thou Eye, thou Lust!"
—Crowley, Liber Samekh
"Another parody shall be prepared, another Breeze to pain"
—Liber Call Me AL, the Book of the In-Laws
| 0. | O Gnarly rod of bloke! In thy haunches is the frightening nest! |
| 1. | Thou art wasted and slack! Supremely solitary! Give it a rub! |
| 2. | UP!! The bloody lips hang over thee! it is the strum! |
| 3. | There is a flaming gash in the sky. |
| 4. | Geddit! |
| 5. | Thou art a tosser in the grip of a strum for a second and a second and a ... OOPS, givest not thy jiz, fallest not, thinkest thou of football scores. |
| 6. | Only in the end shalt thou give up thy jiz when the great god F.O.R.D. is enthroned on the day of Bill-Withers. |
| 7. | For two things is fun and a third is more fun. Isis and Osiris got done for adultery and incest for they had their films developed at Boots the chemists. Whorass leaps up with his three arms from the bed of his mother. Harpomarx his twin is in Hiding. Set has turned States Evidence and displays all to the D.A. |
| 8. | Now is this Magickal power? NO! |
| 9. | It is like a bloke hardened and hare. It is leathery, beaten and scarred and, confidentially, likes sailors. |
| 10. | It also outweighs a pound of flesh. |
| 11. | It hath pride and little subtlety. Yea, and lies also. |
| 12. | Let the Magus jack thus in his masturbation. |
| 13. | Let him sit and "conjure." Let him play himself forcefully; Let him rise the next morning swollen and crusty; let him dash back the hood and fix his one good eye upon the... [Censored — Ed] |
| 14. | Then let him fall exhausted, as well he might. That which floodeth him is the infinite guilt of his Catholic schooling. |
| 15. | Nor do thou deceive thyself. It is easy to tell the live force from the dead matter, just ask Leilah Wendell. |
| 16. | Also concerning payment, be obstinate and haggle much. Understand that the opening of the legs is one with the stiffening of the thingy. Thou bought both these and must rustle greenbacks before morning. |
| 17. | Now shalt thou adore me who am the hair in the tooth, the coats in the hall, the bored at fellation. I am the taste in your mouth and the cigarette that ye adore. |
| 18. | I am Madforit. I have £80 and I want all three. |
| 19. | There is no act or position that will not do him any honor. |
| 20. | All her holey things and all my things shall be in sacramento. |
| 21. | These animals are scared of me; the goat, the duck, the sheep, the cow, the Man, the woman, and anything else with a cute ass. |
| 22. | All horses are scared of Me; they shall not be touched, but saved for my birthday. All lonely places are sacred unto me; where one man "gatherest" himself, there will I leap forth and scream 'Caught Ya!' |
| 23. | I am hideous yet who masterbateth is uglier than I. |
| 24. | Yet I give head to Bill and Hilary. Mine Jiz exceedeth even Oliver and the Horse. |
| 25. | Who worshipeth me may wear many tights. |
| 26. | I am concealed in my comportment; when the most holy ancient one is stripped and driven through the marketplace, there shall I sell tickets and souveniers. |
| 27. | Whom I love I chastise with rods, for she likes it like that. |
| 28. | All Things are scared of me. |
| 29. | For there is no let up when I am hot. |
| 30. | Fear not when I call with my furry hands. For mine nuts have been blown. Verily I shall rise aain and your children shall want me and shall rut in the forest for all eternity. |
| 31. | Eternity is like a long time, yeah! |
| 32. | I am persistent, the persistence that persists not save through its own persistence, that is beyond the pestering of persterers and roots deeper than John Wayne Bobbit with his No-Thing. |
| 33. | Now therefore thou Knowest that when I am Within thee, my hand is spread over thy mouth, my might is more than the penned Tyson, and resistance is useless. |
| 34. | For thou art before a nude woman, bizarre in thy nakedness, sucked up by her slyness and smiles so art thou lucky and no more alone before a symbol of thy beloved. |
| 35. | And after shalt thou crave the infinite piss, and the next rinse of my infinite rain. |
| 36. | This rain reaches from here to over there. Ever in right angles – is my symbol not a right angle? Well, no! Ever in erm... Circles then – is my symbol of my beloved not a circle? well circularish anyway! Ha ha all congress is a base illusion, for every circle is like a triangle, Ta-Da! |
| 37. | But congress is congress, and congress is the rapture which is a song by Blondie, and constant dazzling golden showers of light waves of dew, is watersports, and for that the Great Goddess charges more. Oh Man! |
| 38. | Therefore lift up thyself. I am doing it now. Pull thy stomach in – I am a master. At the end, the end as far distant as the stars, or a good couple of minutes anyway, do thou play with thyself as I am playing in the bed that is thine wife's. In the please, please, please that is your mother; A whore in the darkness that makes your hand a harlot that fucks a duo with her nostrils. |
| 39. | So therefore the beginning is delight, and the end is delight, and delight is in the midst even as a really big delight sandwich made with delight on delight – don't hold the delight, yeah! hold the delight! |
First published in Sunwheel magazine volume I #1, An. IViv Sol in Aries. Text © Frater OOO. Used with permission.
Key entry and HTML coding by Frater T.S.
Background image: "The arrival of the Lacedonian Ambassadors"
by Aubrey Beardsley.