Conversations, Reflections & Meditations


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Sign Guestbook \| View Guestbook Comments? Questions? [email protected]	Prayer topics Freeing My Husband TV Addiction All About You Fearing Man Count It All Joy Teaching Freeing My Husband Date: February 13, 2004 Thank You, Lord, for my husband. I am just really realizing that You have been doing a great work in his life... and maybe even more so in mine. An aquaintance of mine has brought up things she doesn't like in my husband; and I realize, as I find myself defending him, how much he has come to love me, and how he treats me so kindly, especially the last year or two. And how You have brought me to be more content as I come to understand that I cannot depend on him to be "everything" I need (or think I need), because he is human, just like me. And as I am learning to cast those things on You, it is freeing me (and him) from those expectations, and therefore I am no longer disappointed and bitter, and therefore can more easily, even joyfully, appreciate all the things he does for me, and the fact that he does love me and tries hard to show it. And, wonder of wonders, I find myself feeling more and more loving toward him, and feeling sorry for how unloving and angry and bitter I have been, and wanting to encourage and help and love him. Wow! Thank You, Lord! Return to the top TV Addiction Date: February 20, 2004 Dear Heavenly Father, It's been so long since I've been writing in my journal with any kind of regularity. It's true I have been listing prayer requests more often in my prayer journal, and praying a bit more often, but not nearly as much as I should be. Lord, as You know, I end up almost always putting prayer at the end of my devotions, and so often I just don't get there! And You also know how every day I determine I am not going to watch TV or read silly magazines. Well, I'm managing to cut back a bit on the reading, but oh, dear God, I just feel obsessively drawn to sit down and watch (or sneak to watch) TV and videos, whatever is on, especially shows like "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Stargate". Sometimes I "sneak a peek" and "get sucked in" to watching the whole thing, but what really scares me is that the last few days, more and more often I just sit down and watch, really actually defiantly, because.... well, I feel addicted and I don't want to put out the effort to stop, and yes, I want to! (And yet, Lord, I don't want to. I feel so guilty, but not guilty enough to stop.) Okay, look, what I am doing is wrong. The movies are evil and I'm polluting my mind. I'm giving into Satan without even trying to stand firm and resist him, so of course he isn't fleeing, indeed, I expect he's laughing with glee. I'm destroying my testimony. Perhaps most terrible of all, I'm totally throwing away the time You have given me to use for Your purposes and glory, especially time to pray and intercede and fast, for revival and salvation for people, and for battling and overcoming (in victory! conquering! totally!) the evil enemy, the devil, satan. In the name of Jesus, by the power of the Holy Spirit, for the glory of and in obedience and love to the Father. Help me, God! This moment, I swear off TV, movies, magazines, books, papers, all things that are not to the glory of God and for His purposes (recognizing that there are redeeming media from time to time, but in each of those cases, seeking Your will before I "indulge." And avoiding even "good ones" if they might lead me back down the slippery path of destruction. Help me, Jesus, Father, Holy Spirit! In Jesus' name, amen. Return to the top All About You Date: February 23, 2004 Oh dear God, I want my whole existence to be one non-stop, totally holistic and integrated experience of worshipping and glorifying You. "It's all about You Jesus... for Your glory and Your fame... It's not about me, as if You should do things my way... You alone are God and I surrender to Your will." Return to the top Fearing Man Date: February 28, 2004 Yesterday I opened my bedroom window curtains. The window looks out over the downtown area - my neighborhood! - and across the city to the west. An image that has stayed with me ever since childhood was from the Bible Story series of books by Maxwell, where there is a picture of Daniel kneeling in his window facing west toward Jerusalem and praying to God, despite his enemies waiting below to see if he would disobey the King's decree to worship no one but the King. Somehow that really impressed me and stuck in my mind as a really clear image. So I just got down on my knees right there in front of the window and prayed. After awhile a couple of my daughters drove up. I was still kneeling, but I stopped folding my hands, and opened my eyes and stopped praying. Forgive me, Lord! I still am sometimes "fearing man." In fact, I am more afraid of my family, I think, than anyone else. I am afraid they'll be mad at me, or that they will accuse me of being a hypocrite - which of course I am, but God is purifying me day by day, praise His name! And I am afraid that they will be embarrassed bby me or call me down. Oh dear Lord, You know how I try to avoid conflict in the family, to protect myself after what has happened in the past. But Lord, please help me not to be afraid to stand firm when it's You that is at issue. Dear Jesus! Please help me to "dare to be a Daniel!" "Dare to be a Daniel, dare to stand alone, dare to have a purpose firm, dare to make it known.... Standing on a purpose firm, hearing God's command..." Return to the top Count It All Joy Date: March 2, 2004 It's a beautiful spring day, and I am thanking God for His creation. I remembered, in a rough moment, that I am supposed to "give thanks in everything" so I did, in faith, because I sure didn't "feel" joyful. But I kind of feel joy now that I realize God is working in my heart in that area. Of course, Scripture doesn't say "feel joy," it says "count it all joy," and "in everything give thanks." So thank You, Lord, for helping me start to get past the "feeling" thing. As I watched "The Passion of the Christ," as I saw my Lord hang there on the cross, saw how totally loving and forgiving he was, submitting to the will of the Father, even when everything he experienced physically cried out against it, I was filled with joy and thankfulness - at least for a few moments... as I've said already, it wasn't a very "feeling" day... but Lord God, dear Holy Spirit, maybe that was Your point for me, after all. Return to the top Teaching Date: December 11, 2005 Deuteronomy 32:2 "Let my teaching drop as the rain, My speech distill as the dew... For I proclaim the name of the LORD." This is for me. God has gifted me as a teacher, by written word and spoken word and even by the sung word. And He has given me an ability to organize knowledge to share it. The only worthwhile - eternal - teaching is to proclaim the name of the LORD. This is the basic reason why the public school system has become less and less effective and useful. They have deserted the teaching of the Word of God, and prayer, even at the most basic levels. Indeed, not only have they deserted it, but they have forbidden it and hated it. So, I can no longer teach in that situation. But I think God is opening a new door where I can teach His Word, that which is important and useful for His glory and His purposes. Return to the top
Main Page \| My Articles for The Life Connection \| Prayers and Meditations \| Poetry Haida Gwaii Reflections \| Education & Home-School \| Family


	Main Page \| My Articles for The Life Connection \| Prayers and Meditations \| Poetry Haida Gwaii Reflections \| Education & Home-School \| Family
Sign Guestbook \| View Guestbook Comments? Questions? [email protected]	Prayer topics Freeing My Husband TV Addiction All About You Fearing Man Count It All Joy Teaching Freeing My Husband Date: February 13, 2004 Thank You, Lord, for my husband. I am just really realizing that You have been doing a great work in his life... and maybe even more so in mine. An aquaintance of mine has brought up things she doesn't like in my husband; and I realize, as I find myself defending him, how much he has come to love me, and how he treats me so kindly, especially the last year or two. And how You have brought me to be more content as I come to understand that I cannot depend on him to be "everything" I need (or think I need), because he is human, just like me. And as I am learning to cast those things on You, it is freeing me (and him) from those expectations, and therefore I am no longer disappointed and bitter, and therefore can more easily, even joyfully, appreciate all the things he does for me, and the fact that he does love me and tries hard to show it. And, wonder of wonders, I find myself feeling more and more loving toward him, and feeling sorry for how unloving and angry and bitter I have been, and wanting to encourage and help and love him. Wow! Thank You, Lord! Return to the top TV Addiction Date: February 20, 2004 Dear Heavenly Father, It's been so long since I've been writing in my journal with any kind of regularity. It's true I have been listing prayer requests more often in my prayer journal, and praying a bit more often, but not nearly as much as I should be. Lord, as You know, I end up almost always putting prayer at the end of my devotions, and so often I just don't get there! And You also know how every day I determine I am not going to watch TV or read silly magazines. Well, I'm managing to cut back a bit on the reading, but oh, dear God, I just feel obsessively drawn to sit down and watch (or sneak to watch) TV and videos, whatever is on, especially shows like "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Stargate". Sometimes I "sneak a peek" and "get sucked in" to watching the whole thing, but what really scares me is that the last few days, more and more often I just sit down and watch, really actually defiantly, because.... well, I feel addicted and I don't want to put out the effort to stop, and yes, I want to! (And yet, Lord, I don't want to. I feel so guilty, but not guilty enough to stop.) Okay, look, what I am doing is wrong. The movies are evil and I'm polluting my mind. I'm giving into Satan without even trying to stand firm and resist him, so of course he isn't fleeing, indeed, I expect he's laughing with glee. I'm destroying my testimony. Perhaps most terrible of all, I'm totally throwing away the time You have given me to use for Your purposes and glory, especially time to pray and intercede and fast, for revival and salvation for people, and for battling and overcoming (in victory! conquering! totally!) the evil enemy, the devil, satan. In the name of Jesus, by the power of the Holy Spirit, for the glory of and in obedience and love to the Father. Help me, God! This moment, I swear off TV, movies, magazines, books, papers, all things that are not to the glory of God and for His purposes (recognizing that there are redeeming media from time to time, but in each of those cases, seeking Your will before I "indulge." And avoiding even "good ones" if they might lead me back down the slippery path of destruction. Help me, Jesus, Father, Holy Spirit! In Jesus' name, amen. Return to the top All About You Date: February 23, 2004 Oh dear God, I want my whole existence to be one non-stop, totally holistic and integrated experience of worshipping and glorifying You. "It's all about You Jesus... for Your glory and Your fame... It's not about me, as if You should do things my way... You alone are God and I surrender to Your will." Return to the top Fearing Man Date: February 28, 2004 Yesterday I opened my bedroom window curtains. The window looks out over the downtown area - my neighborhood! - and across the city to the west. An image that has stayed with me ever since childhood was from the Bible Story series of books by Maxwell, where there is a picture of Daniel kneeling in his window facing west toward Jerusalem and praying to God, despite his enemies waiting below to see if he would disobey the King's decree to worship no one but the King. Somehow that really impressed me and stuck in my mind as a really clear image. So I just got down on my knees right there in front of the window and prayed. After awhile a couple of my daughters drove up. I was still kneeling, but I stopped folding my hands, and opened my eyes and stopped praying. Forgive me, Lord! I still am sometimes "fearing man." In fact, I am more afraid of my family, I think, than anyone else. I am afraid they'll be mad at me, or that they will accuse me of being a hypocrite - which of course I am, but God is purifying me day by day, praise His name! And I am afraid that they will be embarrassed bby me or call me down. Oh dear Lord, You know how I try to avoid conflict in the family, to protect myself after what has happened in the past. But Lord, please help me not to be afraid to stand firm when it's You that is at issue. Dear Jesus! Please help me to "dare to be a Daniel!" "Dare to be a Daniel, dare to stand alone, dare to have a purpose firm, dare to make it known.... Standing on a purpose firm, hearing God's command..." Return to the top Count It All Joy Date: March 2, 2004 It's a beautiful spring day, and I am thanking God for His creation. I remembered, in a rough moment, that I am supposed to "give thanks in everything" so I did, in faith, because I sure didn't "feel" joyful. But I kind of feel joy now that I realize God is working in my heart in that area. Of course, Scripture doesn't say "feel joy," it says "count it all joy," and "in everything give thanks." So thank You, Lord, for helping me start to get past the "feeling" thing. As I watched "The Passion of the Christ," as I saw my Lord hang there on the cross, saw how totally loving and forgiving he was, submitting to the will of the Father, even when everything he experienced physically cried out against it, I was filled with joy and thankfulness - at least for a few moments... as I've said already, it wasn't a very "feeling" day... but Lord God, dear Holy Spirit, maybe that was Your point for me, after all. Return to the top Teaching Date: December 11, 2005 Deuteronomy 32:2 "Let my teaching drop as the rain, My speech distill as the dew... For I proclaim the name of the LORD." This is for me. God has gifted me as a teacher, by written word and spoken word and even by the sung word. And He has given me an ability to organize knowledge to share it. The only worthwhile - eternal - teaching is to proclaim the name of the LORD. This is the basic reason why the public school system has become less and less effective and useful. They have deserted the teaching of the Word of God, and prayer, even at the most basic levels. Indeed, not only have they deserted it, but they have forbidden it and hated it. So, I can no longer teach in that situation. But I think God is opening a new door where I can teach His Word, that which is important and useful for His glory and His purposes. Return to the top
Main Page \| My Articles for The Life Connection \| Prayers and Meditations \| Poetry Haida Gwaii Reflections \| Education & Home-School \| Family