Main Page | My Articles for The Life Connection | Prayers and Meditations | Poetry
Haida Gwaii Reflections | Education & Home-School | Family
Sign Guestbook | View Guestbook

Comments? Questions?
[email protected]
Prayer topics
Forgiveness
Jill of all Trades
Cell Groups
Forgive My Self-Centeredness
Stop and Seek God's Face
Thanks for Everything

Forgiveness
Date: January 12, 2004

Thank You for the message at church. About forgiveness, I was thinking: I have forgiven people. Then, yesterday, I had "feelings" of frustration, resentment, even pain rise up in me, because of something that happened that caused all those old thoughts from the past to come swarming up in me. So I was worrying, maybe I haven't forgiven him (or other people who affect me this way). And then I though, no, I have forgiven them before God, but the enemy wants me to fall back into my old sinful patterns, and feel condemned, and my "earth suit" has its old habits that I have to overcome, and it has to be conformed to the holiness and likeness of Christ which constitutes the "real me," washed clean in the blood of Jesus! And if I do listen to the enemy and start feeding on those feelings, and even speaking out on them (complaining, gossiping, put-downs) or reacting on them (behaviour), then I just have to forgive again, and seek God's forgiveness again. And I must put the past behind me, striving forward to reach the goal of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus, my Lord and Saviour. (Yes, I'm reading in Philippians right now. How wonderful it is, Lord, the way You bring all things together as You take me through the journey You have laid out for me from before the foundations of the earth! Wow!)

It was helpful to hear the pastor say that even after the choice and act of forgiving, you may still feel pain, so you need healing (love from You, Father, and love and support from the church - the brethren, saints, household and family of God). And you also need renewing of your mind, learning to think of and perceive and love that person in Christ's way of love and forgiveness, instead of the way of your old earthly patterns of anger and bitterness, and even hatred and unforgiveness - basing it on remembering how God has loved and forgiven you, and who you now are in Christ. And to top it off, pray regularly, without ceasing, for those who have hurt you, since you have not walked in their shoes and don't know what has motivated them to do what they did. Therefore you need to stop judging and ask God to do His all-knowing and all-loving and all-understanding and all-forgiving work if their life as well as in yours. You must let those feelings of anger go quickly, before they become sin and bitterness. Bring your "earth-suit" with its attitudes and feelings into line with the holiness of Christ. Choose to get rid of unforgivenesss, so that your earthly bitterness will be transformed into the love and joy that comes from walking in the Spirit of God, of Christ.

If you start to condemn others, remember there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, and you are to be like Him. Help others to choose Jesus. Be compassionate. Don't gripe. Pray for them. You repent. And its likely you'll see them come to repentance and the love and healing and forgiveness and salvation of Christ, too.

Return to the top



Jill of All Trades
Date: January 13, 2004

I think maybe I've spent way too many years "doing my own thing" at school and at homeschool and leading Sunday School and stuff, and at home. And I am a "Jill of all trades, master of none," and I'm really an "eclectic approach" kind of person, following my heart, and the varying needs of the kids I work with (as much as I can manage), with - oh, I hope, I hope, I hope - the Spirit of God as You lead me, dear God, down the pathway of adventure and the unknown. Lord, I'm a "flexible" person. Maybe that's why I like those worship songs that refer to "the dance" and "dancing." Like for proper dancing you need discipline and good basics, etc., but space for creativity too. Maybe I'm a bit of a choreographer, too... or at least I need to be in the love with the great Choreographer and His vision (that would be You, Lord!).

Maybe now I need to be a "mom" to other young moms, and to other people's children in less-structured situations than those in our church's children's servies. Maybe You will give me a different position - or not - it's totally up to You, Lord! And I actually did learn a few things at the training meeting last night, Lord. But maybe I do "come from the time when the hippies ruled the earth" as my daughter likes to say .

Help me, dear Lord, to do Your will and use me to advance Your Kingdom, on earth as in heaven. Help me to be ready to walk into eternity with You, after already walking here with You. Thank You, Lord. Amen.

Return to the top



Cell Groups
Date: January 19, 2004

Question: How do we fulfill our purposes in our cell group if our one-weekly group meetings are pretty much our only connection? When can we share our visions, plan outreach together, etc? How do we love each other when we're not "at church"?

I'm wondering... in the house churches in Acts (and maybe in places today like in China) how were the groups formed? Considering people mostly walked, wouldn't these churches be mostly comprised of people "in the neighborhood"? So they'd be living close together and could see each other often. Wouldn't that make a difference? It says in the Bible that they met daily. Is our once-a-week mentality a problem? It also says they ate together, shared all they had. I don't think that meant occasional potlucks, somehow! How far do we need to go in imitating early churches? And yes, I'm quite sure they were busy people; most likely they had to work from sunrise to sunset just to survive. After all, it was the rich who generally came to Jesus.

What about people being saved daily? How long do we have to "build" our little group before we can go out? And why is our going out apparently an individual thing? It looks to me that the early Christians - even the disciples while Jesus was still on earth - went out at least two-by-two or in larger groups. (It sure works for Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, etc. Why not for us?) This is where mentoring or discipling works: a practiced, seasoned Christian soul-winner taking a new convert along, maybe not just on special occasions but on as many diffferent regular daily occasions as possible, to role model in action. Classes on soul-winning have their place, but seeing it really happen - that creates true longing and enthusiasm to do it yourself!

I wonder how we would feel about selling our property and possession to share with all the church family? Wouldn't that be a "shake-'em-up" proposition!

How do we have "one mind" when we only see each other briefly once or twice a week? How do we really get to know each other? Doesn't the enemy just fill our lives with busy-ness so we "can't" work, play, study, eat, worship together more often?

I don't even know basic things about the people in my cell group, like what their job is, what kinds of major burdens they carry, what financial needs they have. But from the few things I've picked up, I find myself asking questions like:

- Why does that man have to work 12 plus hoours a day, 6 days a week? How is that impacting his wife and his little girls? Is there some way we could help him out so he could have a bit more family time? Could we share some money, or do a bit of his job, or anything?

- What can we do for the single mom in our group who is running her own business while raising her children? How could we help her? Give her a break?

- What about the person who has a great vission, and longs to serve the Lord, but is being held back by spouse and/or family?

- What about marriages that are in trouble?? How do we help and support in practical ways?
- How can we expect people in positions likke the single working mom, to go out and evangelize when they are overwhelmed, just barely surviving day to day living?

- Are there other people in my group as lonnely as I am? How do we really get to know each other, share together? How do we get "together" as the early church did (Acts 2:44)?

- Our church is already considered to be raadical and pro-active, in a sense, for starting cell groups and so on, but how far are we as Christians actually prepared to take that? Are we willing to truly "give up all things" for Christ? Do we have any inkling of what that could mean? How many of us have been genuinely hungry? or beaten, or imprisoned for Christ's sake? or any of those other things where "suffering for Christ" could take us? How can we prepare ourselves for what Christ might ask of us? I'm wondering... should we maybe start right now in our cell groups by actually doing some of those things the early church did? I have to ask myself: am I willing to sell my car, for example, to help out a family who is struggling financially? Or give up a full day or more a week to babysit for free for a single mom who is trying to support her family on minimum wage? Or invite a family who has just lost their home due to unemployment, to move in with my family until they find work?

- What does it really mean to put on the miind of Christ?

- What about integrity? If we "commit" to a cell group, what does that mean - in terms of attendance, participation, giving our tithes and offerings, loving each other actively?

- How do we help each other in times of troouble or in overcoming and defeating temptation when we don't even know those kinds of things about each other? How do we even come to trust each other enough to share those kinds of things? And if I share them do I have any kind of assurance that people in my group will even have time or inclination to do more than say a quick prayer (important as that is)? If not, why would I even bother to take the chance of exposing myself? How far will I go?

- I'm also wondering: when people take courrses or do Bible studies, how do they take that back to their group? How do they share what they have learned, and how does the group help them put it into practice? Or is there that kind of connection at all?

- It is important for me to know my gifts aand passions and such - but is it not also important for that to be shared with the group - the church - so that all gifts can be used to build the body (Acts 6:1-6)?

- How can we go out and bring in new peoplee, unsaved people or brand new converts, when we are too busy to even know and love each other beyond our 1 1/2 hours per week at our cell group and the 1 1/2 hours per week at the church service? Yes, the cell group is more intimate than the larger church service, but with the "schedule" (x minutes to worship, x minutes to pray, x minutes to study, and finish for sure by x o'clock) are we quenching the Spirit? How do we get around this(recognizing the need for sleep, people's jobs, etc)? Is meeting once a week for 1 1/2 hours exactly, the pattern Christ intended? How do we move beyond that? Can we intentionally (to get people started) "book" meals together in each other's homes, make "dates" to go out and evangelize in small groups, etc?

- Why are our special events always fun acttivities like potlucks or progressive dinners or pool parties? When can we study the Word together? When can we help each other in practical ways? Why, when we get together for potlucks and such, do our conversations center around the weather, politics, etc, but rarely on the Lord? Why do we seem to feel that a testimony of God's goodness is not as great a conversation topic as is the weather?

- Oh, and do we really feel comfortable briinging new people to our groups? Will they be welcomed if their language or appearance might not be a "good influence on our children"? Will they feel comfortable in our nice middle class homes? Why do we want our meetings held in nice big homes? How does that make people feel who really want to share their home, small and simple as it might be? Why is it bad to not have enough chairs so some people have to sit on the floor? Why is it bad to not have a play room for the children (and why must children be separated and entertained? I'll bet that didn't happen in the early church family! Do we even do that to our family at home? Are we just buying into the world's day-care mentality? Are we aware that schools and day-cares were set up (and continue) with the express purpose of separating children from the influence of their parents' old-fashioned religious superstitions, and making them obedient to the state, rather than to their parents and to God?)

- And what about our seniors? They're not the "focus" of our church, okay (we're interested in young families, according to the church leadership), but what do we do, then, for wisdom, mentors, etc? And have we accepted the government social net in place of our responsibility? Should we take it back, or do we just figure that our taxes cover it (of course they don't, at least not sufficiently).

- How willing are we to truly put on the miind of Christ, the principles of scripture - and truly face up to and analyze - and cast off - the worldly principles which go against the word of God (Col 2:8)?

- How can I go and tell others the good newws of the gospel when I'm not even really having the opportunity to share my life message (my testimony, the vision God has given me, my life lessons, my Godly passions, the Good News of salvation) right in my own family and in my cell group?

- What does it really mean to live a "purpoose-driven life? Can I say for myself, and can my cell group and church say for themselves, that everything I/we do is to worship God, to be part of and love God's family, to become like Christ, to serve God by serving others as He has purposed for me/us, to go on mission and tell others about my God? Is everything I/we do, done for God's glory? Or it is for my own comfort? Have I put on the mind of Christ, or am I still wrapped up, without even realizing it, in the wicked principles of this world? Am I constantly humbling myself, praying, seeking God's face, turning from my wicked way, so that I can then obey the Great Commission to go, to make disciples, to baptize them, and to teach them to obey, go, make disciples, obey?

I believe that our cell groups are a great biblical idea, a great starting point, but how far are we willing to go with them to fulfill God's purpose, God's vision, that God's Kingdom will come and God's will be done? How far will I go?

Return to the top



Forgive My Self-Centeredness
Date: January 20, 2004

Dear Lord, please forgive me for not getting down on my knees before You the past few days (though I just tried this morning... it was a struggle... I think it is the thing satan tries hardest to fight against me doing...). Help me, please help me, dear Jesus, in this area! Cleanse my heart, pour out your Spirit on me. Help me act, not just think.

Yesterday, I did a lot of thinking.

I myself am so wrapped up in the old ways of doing things, so wrapped up in myself. I see now, where I ask about how we can learn to reach out, that what I really want to know is how I can get people to notice me and help me with my needs and struggles and loneliness.

Oh, dear God, how could I be so self-centered? And not even really realize it? No wonder people don't want to spend too much time with me. It's "all about me." That's what it all comes down to; even when I politely start a conversation asking about them, I quickly turn it back to me. I think I knew it in a way, but Lord, I just now see it. Oh dear God, please forgive me. Help me, Lord. How can I really mean "we" as a cell group, or family, or church when it's all about me?

I don't seem to have had the chance to start my own business (which I've been calling "work for You"), or to even know what to do next... are You stopping me because that was getting to be "all me" instead of "all for You"?

How do I really understand and enact Your word when it says, "Whatever you do... do as for the Lord rather than for men [for other's approval, for my benefit]... It is the Lord Christ whom you serve. (Col 3:23-24)"?

With all You have done for me, all my opportunities, all You have so generously taught and showed me, all You have given me in intelligence and time and chances to learn, how have I ended up so self-centered and navel-gazing? Why can't I really see and love Your world? Yes, I do love my kids, but I wonder, is it because I see them as extensions of me? Are they an extension of "my success" in my heart? Do I really love my husband in any meaningful sense other than what he can do for me (and resent him when he doesn't do that)? What about church? Have all the complaints I've made, in other people's name, really been what they think, or is it a way for me to communicate my wants?

Do I like working with kids because they are cooperative and enthusiastic and in some way admire and obey me? And is that why I get so frustrated and hurt and angry and upset when they don't cooperate or be enthusiastic or appreciative or obedient to me?

What can I say? Forgive me, Lord Jesus. (And help me ask others to forgive me). Help me to change. Turn me one hundred eighty degrees so I'm looking outward, not inward. Turn my eyes to You, Lord, to Your face, and then help my gaze to follow Your gaze out to a lost, lonely, hurting world that needs the love and reconciliation with Your Father - and mine! - that You have made possible and given me already, despite my being a "feverish, selfish little clot" as George Bernard Shaw has so aptly described self-centered people like me.

Forgive me, Lord. Change me. Humble me. Change my focus from inward to outward. Oh dear Jesus, help me. Change me - no Lord, transform me. Renew my mind. May my mind and my spirit be controlled by, and imitating, Your mind and Spirit.

Thank You for saving me. Use me to bring others into Your great saving grace. Thank You, Lord. Amen.

Return to the top



Stop and Seek God's Face
Date: January 27, 2004

My "calendar" is filling up so fast. But, oh Lord, is it "riht"? What happened to making my life more "simple" as I try to fulfill Your purposes? I'm having a hard time stopping and making decisions based on those purposes. I feel guilty to say "no" or even "wait."

Lord, You know I like routine, or at least organization, a sane schedule... and I'm finding this last few days (and coming days that are "filling up") to be pretty scary.

It's like I need to write those purposes on a card and stick it in my pocket and take it out and stop and analyze every request, even if people don't like waiting. Maybe even say, "Ill call you back." And then kneel down and seek Your face. "If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked way [180 degrees!] then I will hear... forgive... heal... 2 Chronicles 7:14" And then I can truly go forth... make disciples... baptize... teach... obey Your commands.

Return to the top



Thanks for Everything
Date: February 12, 2004

Dear Lord, Thank You for Your Spirit in my life. Thank You for all You have been teaching me in Your word, by the guidance of Your Spirit, and from books written by Your servants, and the word preached by Your servants, and the lives they live that reflect You. Thank You for good friends. Thank You for friends that aren't so easy to be friendly with, but through them You are speaking to me and developing my character and making me aware of my negative, evil, sinful attitudes so that I can change. Thank You for our family struggles, to keep me humble and so that I can bring them to You because I can't fix them myself. Thank You for my sore back that has given me for time for You and for my husband and family. Thank You that You always know what I need.

Return to the top
Main Page | My Articles for The Life Connection | Prayers and Meditations | Poetry
Haida Gwaii Reflections | Education & Home-School | Family
Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1