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Prayer topics
Relationship
Prayer of Jabez
It's My Work Child
Worship
I Love You Child
God's Mark

Relationship
Date: July 20, 2005

Dear Heavenly Father, I had a hard time making myself get up after the alarm went off at 5:00. But I am so needing, longing, to be in Your Presence in a quality way. Oh, thank You for offering such a rich relationship!

Can I say something? Sometimes I just want to be with You all the time. Lately, when I'm not focused in on Your Presence, I feel kind of empty and lost and "at sea." But I find it hard to focus in at times when I'm pretty sure I'm going to be interrupted at any moment. There must be a way where one can be focused in while continuing on with life and with maintaining the other necessary relationships? Or perhaps not - perhaps it is better this way, for it keeps drawing me back to You.

But surely I can learn to make better use of the extra moments? Please help me in this area. Please help me not to waste time.

And dear Lord, as my relationship with You continues and keeps developing - yes! Oh Thank You! - I have to admit it makes me feel bad about the shallowness of my other relationships. I've been feeling like other people don't want a deeper, more intimate, heart-level relationship with me, and I've been frustrated about that. But it just occurred to me even as I am writing - oh, thank You for speaking Your word to me so gently, yet firmly and clearly - that I haven't pursued deep relationships myself. I'm always trying to do "two things at once" so I don't just stop and focus on the other person. I've almost always been more passionate about my current idea or activity of the moment (gardening, guitar, drawing, home school, learning French, selling Watkins, the activity of mothering, etc) than on actually focusing on and developing my human relationships.

I've felt so "left out" in my relationship with my husband, wishing he'd share in my relationship with You. But is it true that just makes him feel like an "extra"?

I know You are supposed to come first in all our life's activities and relationships, but I'm seeing that I've been treated my relationship with You, for way too long, as often being another of my "passions." So I've focused on the "activity" rather than on the person. I've so often wondered why I couldn't "attain a feeling of love" for You over the years (though You have graciously allowed that recently. Oh, thank You!) and why I just felt that there should be something "more" but I couldn't find out how to "get there." Oh dear, God, I am sorry. I see that I do focus on the activity far too much, too often, rather than just on loving.

Frankly, I'm not even sure "how to love." Love is a verb, they say. So I try to get caught up in the action of loving. I try to do good things, think good thoughts, be kind. Yes, I try. But that really isn't the point, is it? "We love Him because He first loved us and gave His Son for us." I've always pretty much thought or felt that to mean that You did something good and kind for me, and I owe it to You to do good and kind things in return to You and others. I've understood, alright (though I have never, ever been able to attain any serious level of reciprocation - as of course, I now see, is impossible!) that "He paid a debt He did not owe... I needed Someone to wash my sins away," but I really didn't get the "I owed a debt I could not pay" part, because although I understood the need to receive salvation, I always kind of felt (without consciously recognizing it, but it shows in my actions and in the "intellectualism" of my relationship with You and with others, versus real "depth of love") that I have to now "pay" for that by being good, kind, focused, etc. Which meant I was missing two points: I can't pay: and any true "love" in me is not "me loving" but is You loving. There is no true love in a sinful nature. All the "good" things I "do" or "think" or "say" don't make love. I cannot produce love! Because while we often say "love is an action," the truth of the matter is that any true love we ever experience is You loving us, Your love flowing through us, coming out in our actions and responses to You and to others. Because "God is love."

We talk about great love stories, love relationships, being madly in love, love at first sight; but without God love, all those other layers of love are inadequate, just shadows of the real thing. And by Your grace and mercy, You have been allowing me - in spite of my efforts to "do" love, to continue to love at a shadow level so much of the time (You know I didn't understand; how patient You are; such love!) - anyway, You have allowed me to experience Your love, and it is truly causing discomfort and dissatisfaction within me with the level of "love" I've been experiencing all my life in relationships with others - and of course, with You. I've tried to "manufacture" love. I wanted to please You. Yes, I see! I've always had this driving desire to please others, including You. And the outcome of that sometimes looks like love, and sometimes, by Your immense, patient grace, it even is love, at least on a very simple level, just enough to give me a taste that makes me long for more.

Okay, listen, I was just going to ask, "But what do I do to get more?" And immediately I remembered (You spoke to me!) that it's not what I can do. It's just learning to rest in Your love, accept Your love, flow with Your love. Then I will love - naturally. Yes, of course, my flesh will try to rise up, the enemy will try to rise up, and I'll need to be on watch always against that, and against my "I must love" attitude. Forgive me, Lord, for this attitude and resulting action, this low-level kind of shadow-love that I didn't even realize existed in me.

I don't know how to go on from here. I don't know how to "make this work." I guess that is good because the only way it will "work" is to let You love in and through and around me and all others, all Your creation. Oh dear God, help me to allow You to get me past it being "about" You and into it being "with" you, in true intimate communion with You, just as You created me for. Then, You can love through me to others, that they too may experience You, Who is love. and one day, we, Your body, may truly be one with each other and one in You, through Jesus Christ Your Son, our Lord and Saviour.

Help me just believe, accept, live in Your love, as a little child totally trusts You. Make me as a humble, trusting, little child before You, oh Lord, I pray. Oh, I just feel like curling up and sleeping, resting in peacefulness because a huge responsibility and load has been pulled right off me, and I don't ever have to have it back, and I can just sleep for awhile and then waken to true refreshment and life. "The old is gone, the new is come." Thank You. I had no idea all this was going to come out this morning! Happy day! Hallelujah! Praise Your holy Name. Thank You! I do love You because You just keep on loving me. Keep my heart pure, dear God. Thank You. Amen!

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Prayer of Jabez
Date: July 27, 2005

"Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." (Mt 26:41). Lord, this reminds me again of the Lord's Prayer, "lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil," and the prayer of Jabez, in which he asks You to keep him from evil. Dear Heavenly Father, please put Your hand upon me, please pour out Your Holy Spirit upon me in power this day, all day, and help me not to quench Your Spirit but to walk in the Spirit of Christ, in His power and sensitive to His guidance.

Oh, Lord, as Jabez cried out to You:
Bless me indeed. Help me to trust radically in You, and may all my thoughts and actions be for Your glory; may I stay always in the centre of Your will, plan and favour.
Enlarge my territory. Increase my opportunities, responsibilities and influence in such a way that I can truly impact the world for Your glory.
May Your hand be with me. Teach me more each day to walk in dependence on Jesus, filled with the fullness of the Spirit, that Your power may be released and Your will accomplished through me, for Your glory.
And Lord, please keep me from evil so that I will not enter into sin. And if I must face the tempter, please give me the strength to endure, and victory and deliverance from spiritual attack. Protect and deliver me that I may stand strong against the enemy. Overcome my flesh by Your Spirit upon my spirit, for Your honor and glory, Lord. Thank You. Amen.

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It's My Work Child
Date: July 29, 2005

Don't rush, My child. This work is My work. I am using you, but you must let Me do it, through you, in My time and plan. It's all about Me. It must be My work. Just rest.

It's all under control. My timing is coming. I am preparing you. It's a process, child.

Let Me work it out - in your life, yes, but also in the lives of others I am already bringing together into a bond of desire and maturity, to one day be truly submitted before Me. Then I can take you all, united in one body under the Lordship of My Son, Jesus Christ, and use you all, My church, to once again, like the first disciples, turn the world upside-down.

Don't panic. You are responsible and committed, and that is good. But always, at all times, work only in My flow, My direction, My grace. Otherwise, it will be empty, it will only be about you, and it - you - will fail. Success by the world's standards is always ultimate failure. Only My glory is true success.

Please, please, My dear child. Keep your eyes, ears, heart, mind, feet, soul, strength, spirit - All of you, every moment, unceasingly, upon Me.

It's My work. Let Me do it. You just trust and obey and be always open and ready for My Word, My direction, My empowerment, My grace.

Amen. Thank You, Lord.

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Worship
Date: July 31, 2005

Oh, Lord, thank You for Your revelation of You, of what You are all about. Thank You for showing me that You are not only the Centre, but You are all in all! Thank You for helping me see the "big picture." I have felt as though I was floundering, lost among the trees of the forest. So many details, so many bits and pieces of knowledge and even understanding, yet this night You have truly given me a vision of what it's all about, a vision of You in Your eternal, unending (and unbeginning) greatness and glory and love. "Holy, holy, holy art Thou, Lord God Almighty. Heaven and earth are full of Your glory... Great is Thy faithfulness, O God, my Father... Majesty, worship Your majesty." Glory and honor and worship and praise be unto the Lord God Almighty forever and ever. Eternal, Alpha and Omega, Prince of peace, King of Kings and Lord of Lords, One God, now and forever. Amen!

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I Love You Child
Date: July 29, 2005

I love you, My child. Keep coming to Me. Stay with Me. Let Me do My work. I will use you. I am using you already. Only keep your heart humble before Me. Hold my hand, look into My eyes, into My heart of hearts. Be wrapped, enveloped, sold out to My love. Your are Mine. Relax in Me.

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God's Mark
Date: Aug 4, 2005

"One of the greatest strains in life is the strain of waiting for God. God takes the saint like a bow which He goes on stretching. He is not aiming at our mark, but at His own." (Oswald Chambers). Thank You, Lord, for Your mark. Mine is so small and stunted and dim-sighted. Yours is eternal and perfect and sees all. I long and desire only for Your glorious mark to be the goal and purpose of my life, Lord. Please keep stretching me. Yes, I know it will be painful sometimes. And I tremble greatly in my "self," but I know that with "Christ in me" I will have all the power and assurance and strength I need to pass through the testing - with You! Help me to rest in Your peace and care, and wait patiently for You. Thank You, Lord. Amen.

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