Conversations, Reflections & Meditations


	Main Page \| My Articles for The Life Connection \| Prayers and Meditations \| Poetry Haida Gwaii Reflections \| Education & Home-School \| Family
Sign Guestbook \| View Guestbook Comments? Questions? [email protected]	Prayer topics Make up the Hedge, Stand In the Gap I Want Your Thoughts Only, Lord ...Fill Me With Your Spirit, the Spirit of Christ Break Us - Break Me, Lord - And Pour Out Your Spirit, Please! Killing The False Prophets, Tearing Down the Altars ... The Lord He is God! Pour Down Your Rain, Lord! Touch Only the Hem of His Garment ...Take the Coal, Cleanse My Lips... Make Me Whole Make Up the Hedge, Stand in the Gap Date: December 4, 2006 A week or so ago, Mildred Wakefield preached (!) at the PCS chapel. Her scripture was Ezekial 22:30-31 "And I sought for a man among them, that should make up the hedge, and stand in the gap before me in the land, that I should not destroy it: but I found none. Therefore have I poured out my indignation upon them; I have consumed them with the fire of my wrath: their own way have I recompensed upon their heads, saith the Lord GOD." Dear Heavenly Father, I have been longing for others who will, right now, stand together in the gap, who will join together to focus their whole lives on You, who will study Your Word together in depth, who will fast and pray together (like those little Free Methodist women that led the great preacher to really come to You in full submission and fully under Your Spirit) (like Pastor Sid talking about when he says our church needs to choose one day a week when we will close down all the other "church activities" and just join together to fast and pray), who will seek in their own relationships with You "To find the Secret," and whose whole life goal is to be led by and obediently and with faith walking in the Holy Spirit of Christ, as true children of their Father, through the blood of the Son, and the power and direction of the Holy Spirit (as Pastor Sid keeps preaching!) But Lord, are You telling me to stop "longing for others" and to just start by stepping out myself - to "stand in the gap before You in the land"! Oh dear God! That is the true longing of my heart! ..... Sometimes I wonder if I have the same thing wrong with me, as my mom does. Sometimes I think I must surely be losing my mind. So many times I can't think of a word (when speaking - they usually seem to be there in my pen!) - and I have a good idea or interesting thoughts that I want to record or share... but they just evaporate before I can do that. Maybe You are just helping me to be empathetic and compassionate toward my mom... if it doesn't on the other hand make me want to avoid her even more.... Oh dear God, I feel like my heart is just such a mess! Help me, please, dear God! In Jesus' name, amen. Return to the top I Want Your Thoughts, Only, Lord... Fill Me With Your Spirit, The Spirit of Christ Date: December 7, 2006 I wish I could take life so peacefully as some folks seem to do. Or maybe I don't wish that.... I couldn't stand a life that seems, to me at least, to be so... I don't know... boring, mundane, unfulfilling, avoiding of what [I think] is really important... but maybe that is just my pride speaking?? Maybe they really do want to "go deeper" or whatever, but are afraid, or truly believe they aren't smart enough, or just have a "different cultural worldview" -- is that what is wrong with me? Am I following a worldview rather than God's view? Does anyone else think these thoughts? Where are they coming from, Lord? From me? the enemy? the world? even a little bit from You? I want Your thoughts, Lord - but when I think like this my head hurts, my heart hurts, I get so tired... it becomes this huge battle in me (emotional, spiritual, mind)... Help me, please, dear Jesus, my cleansing my heart, and, dear God, filling me with Your Spirit, the "Spirit of Christ." .... Dear God, everytime I think about You and Your ways, it just stretches my brain so much. I feel like I just have this teensy tiny little hummingbird-sized brain... and of course in comparison to Your mind (and will!) my mind is just a speck of dust. But I want, I long to know You, my Lord and my God. "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge..." Return to the top Break Us - Break Me, Lord - And Pour Out Your Spirit, Lord! Date: December 10, 2006 Lord, I pray for the church today, that Your Spirit will be poured out! Oh dear God, we need You so much. We need to break through and throw ourselves before You! We need to truly repent and lay on our faces before You, and be broken before You and seek You!!! Oh dear God, please do this - Your work - in our midst. Do it in me, Lord, please. I do sense there are things in me that are blocking You. Father God, I am struggling with being submissive to my husband (yes, I am), and also with leaving him in Your hands. I find I am wanting You to hurry up. I am so impatient.... maybe I am having a had time accepting that Your will may include things that are not "my" will! I long for my kids to turn to You and follow You (and their families) but it seems easier to turn them over to You and accept Your will for them, than to turn my husband over like that. Maybe because I have to live with him, and his choices affect my future! Lord, it is good that I have to turn to You for spiritual companionship and leadership, because it is not "my nature" to turn to You and totally depend on You. Why is it always You that "I" turn to last?? That's the old fleshly sin nature rising up in me, of course! Oh dear God, please take my husband and do Your will, not mine, in his life! (Is that a problem in our church, too? Do we want our will, not Yours?) Dear God, I'm so tired again. I'm going to sleep a bit. Return to the top Killing the False Prophets, Tearing Down the False Altars ...The Lord He is God! Pour Down Your Rain, Lord Date: December 11, 2006 What about ______? Oh dear God, ____ mentioned he has been sick three years. Wasn't it 3 years that there was a drought in Israel, and then God raised up the prophet to call the people back from Baal to the true God, and then the rained poured down? (I just thought of that right now when I started to write. Isn't that from You! I believe it is! Thank You!). I do believe You are going to open the heavens and pour out Your Spirit, as Your people bow before You and repent and turn from their "false gods" back to You, and truly proclaim that "the Lord He is God!" and join together to destroy the power of the enemy in our midst! To "kill the false prophets." To "tear down the the false altars." To truly turn back to You! Lord, one thing that I thought of after we prayed was ____'s yearning to be (a) pastor of our church. Lord - could it be that he is the man You are calling? And that the enemy has been trying all this time to side-track and destroy him, because the enemy knows ____ has been anointed by You in a special way for ministry? Lord, You heard tonight (though of course you already knew) of ___'s dream of the mission field. Dear Lord, thank You that at the very beginning of this long trial, You gave ____ the message (in French, which he didn't even know, but his wife did; he had to quote it to her and ask what it meant) "Je m'appelle Je Suis; Je suis avec toi!" That is incredible! Thank You for giving them that exceptional message to hold onto through this long wilderness struggle! Father God, I believe You are going to use them both - and their children - in a mighty way. I believe this desire of theirs is Your desire which You have placed in their hearts. Lord, by the blood of Jesus, please, please (and thank You, because I do believe You have heard our prayers this evening!) break the power and oppression of the enemy over this family... and free them to serve and worship You with all their beings - heart, soul, strength, mind. (Lord this all makes me long, too, to do "something big" for You, to go where maybe I can use my French even! - Lord, I do believe You have been preparing me for this prayer ministry for ____ by bringing us together related to their babysitter needs and my French learning needs! Thank You, Lord! I have always cared about them - right back to the days of 180/Oasis, when we still lived in Keremeos and things were so awful in some ways, yet ___'s ministry was such a blessing and encouragement to me - and to my kids too! You have had us walk a path where our steps have crossed many times - You do have a great plan and purpose! Thank You that this night of praying has also given me great confidence that You are also answering my prayers for my children! Praise Your Holy Name! (Lord, I felt tonight that satan has been "blocking" my kids, too, in various ways. Oh dear God, break the enemy's strongholds.) ** Norma, My child, Fear not for I am with you and will not let the enemy destroy the work I have begun in you and in your family. As you continue to trust in Me, I will bring my purposes to pass. You are mine and I am working out all that I have in My mind for You. My Spirit is upon you. I am using you and will continue to do so. Sleep now, in peace, My little lamb. *** Thank You, Lord. Amen. Return to the top Touch Only the Hem of His Garment ...Take the Coal, Cleanse My Lips... Make Me Whole! Date: December 12, 2006 I just finished reading Job yesterday, so now I am on to going through my Bible memory verses I have collected over the past year and a half. I am quite excited about this - I feel it will be really rich, healthly, life-giving, energy-producing - exciting! - food for my heart and soul and mind, and even for my body. That my "roots will grow down into Your love' and that I will come to know You intimately - that Your thoughts will become My thoughts, Your Words my words, Your will my will, Your actions my actions, Your attitudes my attitudes - and even that my bodily health will improve as a result of walking so closely with You, as an outcome of wise and healthy thinking and living according to Your plans and purposes for every aspect of my life! Thank You for showing me this even now! Lord, as I woke this morning and started to pray again for ______ and also started to read in my Bible memory book, I came upon this verse, and as I read it You really "grabbed my attention" toward it. I read it over and over again. I'm not sure what it means in relation to this situation, but for sure You have impressed it upon my heart, and so here I claim it in the name of Jesus for this situation - I feel that it has to do with _____, but also myself, and our whole church: Matthew 14:36 "And besought him that they might only touch the hem of his garment, and as many as touched were made perfectly whole." Lord, lately I've been trying to lay hold of You, to pray (and read Your Word) and even fast - and You know I have been discouraged, I have felt blocked, dry, sometimes even separated (though never cut off!). when I pray, I don't know the words, or Your will in the situation, and I'm afraid to open my mouth in public prayer - like last night - lest I say the wrong thing! (You have put Your "prayer language" into my mouth - quietly - a number of times lately, though)- and last night I felt Your joy and praise starting to rise up in me, which I have not felt for a long time. That old "Holy Ghost power and praise!" That "Pentecost" sense which I have, well, not lost, but which has not seemed to have been "available" to me, or which perhaps I have quenched myself, or which perhaps the enemy has attempted to block by, as someone said last night, by exploiting my weaknesses, like what I have gone through with my dad's illness and death, and mom's dementia. Lord, You know how I seem to lately be having so much trouble remembering things, and especially in communicating, in thinking of the right word - and maybe it's just from being tired and a bit emotionally wrung out, but You also know the fear - almost horror sometimes! - I feel when I think I could be going like my mom, losing my mind. I know I have given this over to You, that if that is Your will and will further Your purposes and be for the good of even one person, I would be willing if it would please You! And I submit that to You once again. But Lord, as long as I do have my mind, whether short or long term, please use it, make it Yours, for Your honour and glory. Thank You,amen! Oh dear God, may the words of my mouth also line up with the meditations of my heart which You have been more and more enabling me to express in writing. I have never been eloquent in the spoken word, O Lord - though I can read the written Word aloud, and sometimes You just put passion in my soul and the words come out so clear and true - especially in prayer - kind of like when You make me able to sing beautifully, way, way better than when I try - O Lord, please free me up to worship freely, with great love for You, with full focus on You, fully led by Your Spirit once again! Another area of "dryness" and also struggle - against my own pride and wanting to be noticed - forgive me, Lord. Help me please! Amen! thank You, Lord! Matthew 15:18 "But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart: and they defile the man." Lord, I am in fear every time I open my mouth. I just say things that do not line up with what I have been learning or even thinking. I think good thoughts, thoughts that line up with Your Word and I believe come from Your Spirit, but when I open my mouth, they either come out all garbled - or other things altogether come out! Oh dear God, please cleanse my heart - and my lips. I feel like the prophet who needed his lips - and heart - cleansed by a coal from the altar before God in heaven. "I come to the Holy of Holies/ I enter by the blood of the Lamb/ I come to the Holy of Holies/ Take the coal, cleanse my lips, here I am. Oh dear God, help me, please! Help our church! Help Pastor Sid! Help _____ and our prayer team! Do Your work, Lord! Thank You, Jesus! About fasting... Last night Pastor Side said we should seek You about fasting. Lord, I am willing to fast, I believe in fasting, I want to fast, I've tried fasting off and on in the past while. You know what happens. I feel so sick after missing 2 meals, sick, tired, weak.... My body is not well to start with, and without food I have no energy to do my daily tasks. And I am to keep my fasting quiet, but if I don't tell my husband, he urges me to eat. And it's so hard to fast when I have to be preparing food for others, and feeding them. And I just can't carry on my daily activities (teaching, etc) without energy. I can't even stick to my schedule as it is... but maybe if I did fast You would strengthen me, eh? Please, Lord, make Your will clear to me on this issue! And if You want me to fast, open the doors and prepare my body too, I pray! In Jesus' name, Amen. Thank You! Return to the top
Main Page \| My Articles for The Life Connection \| Prayers and Meditations \| Poetry Haida Gwaii Reflections \| Education & Home-School \| Family


	Main Page \| My Articles for The Life Connection \| Prayers and Meditations \| Poetry Haida Gwaii Reflections \| Education & Home-School \| Family
Sign Guestbook \| View Guestbook Comments? Questions? [email protected]	Prayer topics Make up the Hedge, Stand In the Gap I Want Your Thoughts Only, Lord ...Fill Me With Your Spirit, the Spirit of Christ Break Us - Break Me, Lord - And Pour Out Your Spirit, Please! Killing The False Prophets, Tearing Down the Altars ... The Lord He is God! Pour Down Your Rain, Lord! Touch Only the Hem of His Garment ...Take the Coal, Cleanse My Lips... Make Me Whole Make Up the Hedge, Stand in the Gap Date: December 4, 2006 A week or so ago, Mildred Wakefield preached (!) at the PCS chapel. Her scripture was Ezekial 22:30-31 "And I sought for a man among them, that should make up the hedge, and stand in the gap before me in the land, that I should not destroy it: but I found none. Therefore have I poured out my indignation upon them; I have consumed them with the fire of my wrath: their own way have I recompensed upon their heads, saith the Lord GOD." Dear Heavenly Father, I have been longing for others who will, right now, stand together in the gap, who will join together to focus their whole lives on You, who will study Your Word together in depth, who will fast and pray together (like those little Free Methodist women that led the great preacher to really come to You in full submission and fully under Your Spirit) (like Pastor Sid talking about when he says our church needs to choose one day a week when we will close down all the other "church activities" and just join together to fast and pray), who will seek in their own relationships with You "To find the Secret," and whose whole life goal is to be led by and obediently and with faith walking in the Holy Spirit of Christ, as true children of their Father, through the blood of the Son, and the power and direction of the Holy Spirit (as Pastor Sid keeps preaching!) But Lord, are You telling me to stop "longing for others" and to just start by stepping out myself - to "stand in the gap before You in the land"! Oh dear God! That is the true longing of my heart! ..... Sometimes I wonder if I have the same thing wrong with me, as my mom does. Sometimes I think I must surely be losing my mind. So many times I can't think of a word (when speaking - they usually seem to be there in my pen!) - and I have a good idea or interesting thoughts that I want to record or share... but they just evaporate before I can do that. Maybe You are just helping me to be empathetic and compassionate toward my mom... if it doesn't on the other hand make me want to avoid her even more.... Oh dear God, I feel like my heart is just such a mess! Help me, please, dear God! In Jesus' name, amen. Return to the top I Want Your Thoughts, Only, Lord... Fill Me With Your Spirit, The Spirit of Christ Date: December 7, 2006 I wish I could take life so peacefully as some folks seem to do. Or maybe I don't wish that.... I couldn't stand a life that seems, to me at least, to be so... I don't know... boring, mundane, unfulfilling, avoiding of what [I think] is really important... but maybe that is just my pride speaking?? Maybe they really do want to "go deeper" or whatever, but are afraid, or truly believe they aren't smart enough, or just have a "different cultural worldview" -- is that what is wrong with me? Am I following a worldview rather than God's view? Does anyone else think these thoughts? Where are they coming from, Lord? From me? the enemy? the world? even a little bit from You? I want Your thoughts, Lord - but when I think like this my head hurts, my heart hurts, I get so tired... it becomes this huge battle in me (emotional, spiritual, mind)... Help me, please, dear Jesus, my cleansing my heart, and, dear God, filling me with Your Spirit, the "Spirit of Christ." .... Dear God, everytime I think about You and Your ways, it just stretches my brain so much. I feel like I just have this teensy tiny little hummingbird-sized brain... and of course in comparison to Your mind (and will!) my mind is just a speck of dust. But I want, I long to know You, my Lord and my God. "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge..." Return to the top Break Us - Break Me, Lord - And Pour Out Your Spirit, Lord! Date: December 10, 2006 Lord, I pray for the church today, that Your Spirit will be poured out! Oh dear God, we need You so much. We need to break through and throw ourselves before You! We need to truly repent and lay on our faces before You, and be broken before You and seek You!!! Oh dear God, please do this - Your work - in our midst. Do it in me, Lord, please. I do sense there are things in me that are blocking You. Father God, I am struggling with being submissive to my husband (yes, I am), and also with leaving him in Your hands. I find I am wanting You to hurry up. I am so impatient.... maybe I am having a had time accepting that Your will may include things that are not "my" will! I long for my kids to turn to You and follow You (and their families) but it seems easier to turn them over to You and accept Your will for them, than to turn my husband over like that. Maybe because I have to live with him, and his choices affect my future! Lord, it is good that I have to turn to You for spiritual companionship and leadership, because it is not "my nature" to turn to You and totally depend on You. Why is it always You that "I" turn to last?? That's the old fleshly sin nature rising up in me, of course! Oh dear God, please take my husband and do Your will, not mine, in his life! (Is that a problem in our church, too? Do we want our will, not Yours?) Dear God, I'm so tired again. I'm going to sleep a bit. Return to the top Killing the False Prophets, Tearing Down the False Altars ...The Lord He is God! Pour Down Your Rain, Lord Date: December 11, 2006 What about ______? Oh dear God, ____ mentioned he has been sick three years. Wasn't it 3 years that there was a drought in Israel, and then God raised up the prophet to call the people back from Baal to the true God, and then the rained poured down? (I just thought of that right now when I started to write. Isn't that from You! I believe it is! Thank You!). I do believe You are going to open the heavens and pour out Your Spirit, as Your people bow before You and repent and turn from their "false gods" back to You, and truly proclaim that "the Lord He is God!" and join together to destroy the power of the enemy in our midst! To "kill the false prophets." To "tear down the the false altars." To truly turn back to You! Lord, one thing that I thought of after we prayed was ____'s yearning to be (a) pastor of our church. Lord - could it be that he is the man You are calling? And that the enemy has been trying all this time to side-track and destroy him, because the enemy knows ____ has been anointed by You in a special way for ministry? Lord, You heard tonight (though of course you already knew) of ___'s dream of the mission field. Dear Lord, thank You that at the very beginning of this long trial, You gave ____ the message (in French, which he didn't even know, but his wife did; he had to quote it to her and ask what it meant) "Je m'appelle Je Suis; Je suis avec toi!" That is incredible! Thank You for giving them that exceptional message to hold onto through this long wilderness struggle! Father God, I believe You are going to use them both - and their children - in a mighty way. I believe this desire of theirs is Your desire which You have placed in their hearts. Lord, by the blood of Jesus, please, please (and thank You, because I do believe You have heard our prayers this evening!) break the power and oppression of the enemy over this family... and free them to serve and worship You with all their beings - heart, soul, strength, mind. (Lord this all makes me long, too, to do "something big" for You, to go where maybe I can use my French even! - Lord, I do believe You have been preparing me for this prayer ministry for ____ by bringing us together related to their babysitter needs and my French learning needs! Thank You, Lord! I have always cared about them - right back to the days of 180/Oasis, when we still lived in Keremeos and things were so awful in some ways, yet ___'s ministry was such a blessing and encouragement to me - and to my kids too! You have had us walk a path where our steps have crossed many times - You do have a great plan and purpose! Thank You that this night of praying has also given me great confidence that You are also answering my prayers for my children! Praise Your Holy Name! (Lord, I felt tonight that satan has been "blocking" my kids, too, in various ways. Oh dear God, break the enemy's strongholds.) ** Norma, My child, Fear not for I am with you and will not let the enemy destroy the work I have begun in you and in your family. As you continue to trust in Me, I will bring my purposes to pass. You are mine and I am working out all that I have in My mind for You. My Spirit is upon you. I am using you and will continue to do so. Sleep now, in peace, My little lamb. *** Thank You, Lord. Amen. Return to the top Touch Only the Hem of His Garment ...Take the Coal, Cleanse My Lips... Make Me Whole! Date: December 12, 2006 I just finished reading Job yesterday, so now I am on to going through my Bible memory verses I have collected over the past year and a half. I am quite excited about this - I feel it will be really rich, healthly, life-giving, energy-producing - exciting! - food for my heart and soul and mind, and even for my body. That my "roots will grow down into Your love' and that I will come to know You intimately - that Your thoughts will become My thoughts, Your Words my words, Your will my will, Your actions my actions, Your attitudes my attitudes - and even that my bodily health will improve as a result of walking so closely with You, as an outcome of wise and healthy thinking and living according to Your plans and purposes for every aspect of my life! Thank You for showing me this even now! Lord, as I woke this morning and started to pray again for ______ and also started to read in my Bible memory book, I came upon this verse, and as I read it You really "grabbed my attention" toward it. I read it over and over again. I'm not sure what it means in relation to this situation, but for sure You have impressed it upon my heart, and so here I claim it in the name of Jesus for this situation - I feel that it has to do with _____, but also myself, and our whole church: Matthew 14:36 "And besought him that they might only touch the hem of his garment, and as many as touched were made perfectly whole." Lord, lately I've been trying to lay hold of You, to pray (and read Your Word) and even fast - and You know I have been discouraged, I have felt blocked, dry, sometimes even separated (though never cut off!). when I pray, I don't know the words, or Your will in the situation, and I'm afraid to open my mouth in public prayer - like last night - lest I say the wrong thing! (You have put Your "prayer language" into my mouth - quietly - a number of times lately, though)- and last night I felt Your joy and praise starting to rise up in me, which I have not felt for a long time. That old "Holy Ghost power and praise!" That "Pentecost" sense which I have, well, not lost, but which has not seemed to have been "available" to me, or which perhaps I have quenched myself, or which perhaps the enemy has attempted to block by, as someone said last night, by exploiting my weaknesses, like what I have gone through with my dad's illness and death, and mom's dementia. Lord, You know how I seem to lately be having so much trouble remembering things, and especially in communicating, in thinking of the right word - and maybe it's just from being tired and a bit emotionally wrung out, but You also know the fear - almost horror sometimes! - I feel when I think I could be going like my mom, losing my mind. I know I have given this over to You, that if that is Your will and will further Your purposes and be for the good of even one person, I would be willing if it would please You! And I submit that to You once again. But Lord, as long as I do have my mind, whether short or long term, please use it, make it Yours, for Your honour and glory. Thank You,amen! Oh dear God, may the words of my mouth also line up with the meditations of my heart which You have been more and more enabling me to express in writing. I have never been eloquent in the spoken word, O Lord - though I can read the written Word aloud, and sometimes You just put passion in my soul and the words come out so clear and true - especially in prayer - kind of like when You make me able to sing beautifully, way, way better than when I try - O Lord, please free me up to worship freely, with great love for You, with full focus on You, fully led by Your Spirit once again! Another area of "dryness" and also struggle - against my own pride and wanting to be noticed - forgive me, Lord. Help me please! Amen! thank You, Lord! Matthew 15:18 "But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart: and they defile the man." Lord, I am in fear every time I open my mouth. I just say things that do not line up with what I have been learning or even thinking. I think good thoughts, thoughts that line up with Your Word and I believe come from Your Spirit, but when I open my mouth, they either come out all garbled - or other things altogether come out! Oh dear God, please cleanse my heart - and my lips. I feel like the prophet who needed his lips - and heart - cleansed by a coal from the altar before God in heaven. "I come to the Holy of Holies/ I enter by the blood of the Lamb/ I come to the Holy of Holies/ Take the coal, cleanse my lips, here I am. Oh dear God, help me, please! Help our church! Help Pastor Sid! Help _____ and our prayer team! Do Your work, Lord! Thank You, Jesus! About fasting... Last night Pastor Side said we should seek You about fasting. Lord, I am willing to fast, I believe in fasting, I want to fast, I've tried fasting off and on in the past while. You know what happens. I feel so sick after missing 2 meals, sick, tired, weak.... My body is not well to start with, and without food I have no energy to do my daily tasks. And I am to keep my fasting quiet, but if I don't tell my husband, he urges me to eat. And it's so hard to fast when I have to be preparing food for others, and feeding them. And I just can't carry on my daily activities (teaching, etc) without energy. I can't even stick to my schedule as it is... but maybe if I did fast You would strengthen me, eh? Please, Lord, make Your will clear to me on this issue! And if You want me to fast, open the doors and prepare my body too, I pray! In Jesus' name, Amen. Thank You! Return to the top
Main Page \| My Articles for The Life Connection \| Prayers and Meditations \| Poetry Haida Gwaii Reflections \| Education & Home-School \| Family