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Prayer topics
Thoughts About Church Programs...And Families
Your Church: Repentence, Surrender, Obedience to You
It Takes a Village to Help People Die?
...(And It Takes You Most of All, Lord)

Dad Dying Quickly of Cancer... And Mom Slowly of Dementia
...Burdens Down, Lord, Now I Lay My Burdens Down

Step-by-Step, Child...Yes, Lord
Thank You, Lord!

Thoughts About Church Programs...And Families
Date: September 6, 2006

Thank You, again, Lord, for Your Word that spoke to my heart yesterday about my discouragement with the Pastoral Search process. Thank You that it is Your work, and I am simply to be Your worshipful and obedient and trusting servant. Thank You for the great things You have already done, and the great things You are doing even now, and will continue to do untl all Your purposes and will are fulfilled, and all heaven and earth bows and gives praise and honour and glory to You, the Eternal, Immortal, Omnipotent, Great God and King and Lord of all! Amen!

I love You, Lord! Amen!

September 8, 2006

Thinking while doing my reading this morning (1 Samuel 15 - to obey is better than sacrifice) about the whole idea of children's church/Sunday School during the Sunday church service. It occurred to me (and I believe this is from the Lord because it does seem to line up with scripture! Lord? Please show me Your truth) that if women in the church service are to be submissively under the headship (including explanation and teaching) of their husbands in the church service situation, then how much more the children who are, according to Deuteronomy 6:7 to be under the teaching of their parents at all time, and according to accounts like Acts 16:33 (Paul and Silas and the Philippian jailer) where the "whole house" was baptized when the father believed, and the scripture which says that the children are "sanctified" (as well as an unbelieving parent!) by a believing parent, and then Titus 2:3-5 which shows the pattern of headship, plus other passages like Ephesians 5 to 6 (especially 6:1-4) where children are to obey and honour their parents, and fathers are to bring their children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Now this all seems to make clear that the parents are responsible for the biblical (spiritual) training of their children at all times - and how can that be done when the church gathers but the children are separated so that the parents are not even aware of what the children are being taught?

The gathering of the church would seem to be to be probably the most important spiritual learning time outside the home, and the parents should be involved. As for the "option" of Sunday School at another time, the whole separation idea still concerns me (with others doing the teaching, and with the influence of the peer group rather than the family group, be that seen as the nuclear family or the church famly). However, I can see value for the Sunday School as a learning opportunity for children from non-Christian homes, and for adult classes for new believers to help them grow in the faith [though personal discipling, and the meeting of the whole body is still more important], and for potential believers to hear the gospel. But even then, I see value in "family" classes where the family sits and learns together. I suppose that if we had "church" in the same way as the early church, this would happen more naturally, as the children would hear teaching from many adults (men), [including quite possibly] their own fathers, which would be similar in some respects to a Sunday School class situation.

Anyway, scripture seems quite clear that parents are directly responsible for their children's learning... and of course that takes us onward to home schooling, etc.

I guess I do need to find that scripture(s) about the children being made holy by believing parents... I expect there is something key there!

What happens when we "delegate" the spiritual training of our children to others??? what if others are more spiritually mature? or less? If we are with our children, we can learn together - and if there are problems with the teaching we can straighten it out immediately. and what an opportunity to be motivated to keep learning and advancing ourselves (and being obedient and trusting, and having faith in God and glorifying Him in our lives - ourselves!)

..........

I Sam 16:24 "I have sinned... because I feared the people and obeyed their voice." I am seeing how serious a sin it is to follow the voice of the world over the voice of God. And how "peculiar" we are actually called to be, how "called-out" - how "holy!" -- even as we "live in but not of this world." Oh my! (see Psalm 101!)

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Your Church....Repentence, Surrender, Obedience To You
Date: September 12, 2006

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for Your love and Your will and purposes!

Thank You for speaking to our church through your servant, Sid. Thank You that You had already prepared the hearts of so many of Your people to respond to Your call for repentance and surrender and obedience to Your will and love. O Lord, please continue to do so and to fulfill this great work which You have started. Please bring it to completion for Your glory and the fruition of Your kingdom! Amen! Thank You, Lord.

Oh Lord, please bring all my children back into Your will, and bring their spouses, too, in Jesus' name, I pray, Amen!

Lord, I pray for the women's ministries, that it be Your will that is done, and not mine or anyone else's. Lord, You know that You called it into being; now, Lord, Your will and purposes alone be done.

Father, I pray the same for the Christian School, and "my part" in it - Your will be done. Not mine. As Sid preached, Lord, EMPTY ME! Make it all about You, Lord! Thank You, Jesus!

Lord, "Take my life and let it be, consecrated, Lord, to Thee. Take my moments and my days, Fill them, Lord, with ceaseless praise."

Lord, I wish to have time to do so many things and be involved in so many things - but, oh Lord - only let Your will and plans be fulfilled. Lord, please empty me of "MY" desires, and replace them with Your heart, with the will and desires of Jesus Christ, my Saviour, Lord and God.

Thank You, Lord, Amen.

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It Takes A Village to Help People Die?
...(And It Takes You Most of All, Lord)

Date: September 16, 2006

Thank You, Lord, for taking care of Mom and Dad. It just seems to me like it would be kinder for them to go straight home to You right now - but maybe You still have a work for them here - or at least a work for us, for me. I have come to realize how self-absorbed (yes, self-centered) I am about my own interests, even "passions," and how I feel like I am being "inconvenienced" by my parent's needs - and that is so wrong. I did not know my heart was like that. I see I too am caught up in the ways of the world. It is true, I suppose, that it would be easier to take care of them if it were a situation of the "whole village" - or whole church - pitching in (I see now the value of the small life cell/home church/ etc). But still - I do want my comfort, my interest, my physical well-being, etc. They say it takes a village to raise a child - but perhaps also a village to support adults and families, and a village to put people to their final rest, to help them die.

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Dad Dying Quickly of Cancer... And Mom Slowly of Dementia
...Burdens Down, Lord, Now I Lay My Burdens Down

Date: October 1, 2006

I didn't want any unresolved issues... and now there is a BIG unresolved issue and that is what has me woken in the middle of the night: who is going to tell mom that dad has died, and how are we going to do it? Apparently she was wondering to my my aunts (her sisters) where "My Bill" is, and some nurse told them that the care home staff all want her told, but that we don't (well, we were advised by her doctor and various other care home staff that we shouldn't). I did ask the family, well my brother at least, if mom should come to the funeral, and he was quite sure that she shouldn't... maybe for the same reasons she shouldn't come to my nephew's wedding...

Dad never did say goodbye to mom. He just got too tired and sick to go see her anymore. I asked him if he wanted to go, and he didn't. I think it was just too much for him.

And went I went to see her she never mentioned him any more, she never mentioned anyone who wasn't right there in the room. I have talked to her about heaven and being able to go there soon and meet Grandpa and Grandma and Dad....

Maybe I should just take up the slide show on my computer, and read her what I read at the funeral? Or would that be just too overwhelming? [Would she understand any of it all any, anyway?]

Dad never did tell that he was dying - as far as I know - but he was alone with her a few times before the end, and he did tell others right in front of her, and early on in the cancer she did ask him a few times if he was sick. But mostly they just gazed in each other's eyes and kept saying, "I love you." It was very sweet, I think, but at the same time I felt like I was invading just being there (which is why I'd leave them alone)... and the way mom said it was kind of like a sad, frightened little child... How can one know what she is thinking or feeling? She does seem sad, but when I ask her what's wrong, she just goes on about "They don't like me... I just want to be friends," and it seems mostly like she feels bad because of way some of the other residents rebuff her (especially that one lady).

Maybe all the people visiting her have triggered memories. Maybe looking at family pictures with her sisters. Maybe the things I said to her about heaven. Maybe someone has even said something to her, not knowing we haven't told her. I do think she needs to be told. My brother said he'll deal with it this week. I told him I could go with him. I don't mind helping tell her, but I just can't - or don't want to - do it alone.

I've hardly cried about dad, but I feel like if mom cried, I'd have a total meltdown. Maybe I should talk to our pastor? Or should I just take it to You, Lord? I mean, here I am, Lord, and I am telling You, right now, that this is something I totally don't know what to do about. Dear God, it just doesn't seem fair to me that mom should have to suffer sorrow like this in the midst of such confusion of mind. I have to admit, Lord, I wish she could just go home to You. And yes, sometimes I've wished that for myself. But now... I wish it for her. But maybe that isn't for her best after all?

It's kind of sad about mom... I mean, I feel like it's all over now that the funeral is done, and we have to "get on with life" but in a perverse way it feels like mom is a "loose end" that can't be tied up. She is still sweet, but so helpless and sad, and she seems like kind of a little helpless stranger-child, kind of clinging to me. I do love her, but don't know how to help her. I feel as helpless as she does, maybe?

I wish I can just "give it all to Jesus" and not worry about it anymore... when when I say that, I realize that mom... at least some of her... is still needing my attention and care... and... I'll be honest, Lord... it feels like a burden... and I feel guilty and helpless... and even resentful and selfish about that. I'm just tired. And I want it to be over. Yet compared to most of the world I have no troubles at all, and it just makes me feel like a big, mean, fat, ugly, stupid, gross, selfish, ugly PIG. (Okay, now I'm crying).

Well, can I at least give you the burden of it all, Lord? "Burdens down, Lord/ Burdens down, Lord/ Now I lay my burdens down.../ Feeling better, so much better/ Since I laid my burdens down..."

I want to feel better, Lord.
Please help me.

Lord, I guess I just think it would have been nice to go through the dad thing with mom, together... maybe even leaning on her a bit... like the old days... or at least leaning on each other, Lord? I don't have her to "lean on" anymore, Lord... so please, help me to lean on You... however much it takes, and in whatever form!

Thank You! Amen!


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Step By Step, Child...Yes, Lord
Date: Monday, October 2, 2006

Step-by-step, My child. That's how to follow Me, And to let me take your burdens.

****

Yes, Lord. I'd forgotten... I'm sorry... Please help me. Thank You.

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Thank You, Lord!
Date: October 8, 2006

Pastor Sid phoned to thank me for an email I sent, and for the talk I gave at Dad's funeral. He said that he knows that God is very happy and delighted with me! That was such a blessing to hear, because I have been kind of feeling a bit discouraged about things. But on the other hand, yesterday on the way home from the teacher's conference I was so happy because going through Manning Park the sun was shining, the leaves were in full fall colour, the air was fresh and crisp - and I strongly felt that the Lord was telling me that He is opening wide the door to new, bright adventures!

Thank You, Lord!

And thank You, too, for answering my prayer that my daughter wouldn't have to take a taxi the long ride home from the airport - and thank You, too, for protecting her and my grandson on their flight! Thank You for answering my prayers and showing her Your love in such a clear way!

Please forgive me for not praying faithfully, lately, Lord. My heart just doesn't seem to be focused on You like it should be. Please forgive me and help me. Fill me with Your precious Spirit, dear Lord God, I pray, in Jesus' Name. Thank You! Please cleanse me and make me whole in You. I want only and always to be filled and directed by Your Spirit so that I can truly follow and live (be) like Jesus! Thank You, Lord!

Pastor also said that my sending that email was a "prophetic word." Lord?

Thank You, Jesus. I love You. Amen.

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