The Rubber Bouncy Ball
Once upon a time there was a happy bouncy ball. The ball bounced, and it was happy. I will attempt to write an entire page about the happy bouncy ball, although it is inevitable that I will ramble on unrelated topics, such as right now. But back to the story. The bouncy ball was named, or, to increase the word count, �christened�, Fred. Fred was red, bouncy, and happy. Fred was special, red, bouncy, and happy. I am not sure why he was happy. His life must have sucked, as he was a rubber ball. He was bouncy because he was a ball. I am not sure why he was red, but it was probably related to the pigment used in the factory to create him. He was special because he was red, bouncy, and happy. That is the explanation of his characteristics. Characteristics should be the first thing you give to a character, because otherwise they would be called something different, and they wouldn�t be a character. Therefore, not only should it be the first thing you give to a character, but it wouldn�t be a character if it didn�t have characteristics, meaning it wouldn�t be a character anyways. Even though Fred was happy, he never smiled. This was due to the fact that he had no mouth. That was probably a good thing, because if he had a mouth he would have had to eat, and I highly doubt that little kids would remember to feed their rubber bouncy balls. Also, if they had a mouth they would eat part of the ground when they were bounced, and that wouldn�t be a good thing. Although it would be funny. Then again, I have a strange sense of humor. I don�t think anyone finds me funny because my sense of humor is very different. But if no one else thinks it�s funny, could it really be called a sense of humor? Wouldn�t it be a sense of unhumor? If that was a word, I bet that would be what it is. Chapter is a fun word to type. That is relevant, but not to this. But since this has no relevance to anything else, perhaps it is relevant, simply because it�s not. I don�t know if Fred liked being red or not, because he didn�t have a mouth (as mentioned above), so he couldn�t talk. He didn�t have any hands either, so he couldn�t use sign language. But that�s okay, because I don�t know sign language anyway. So maybe Fred wished he was blue or green or some other color. Maybe Fred was colorblind. He probably didn�t have eyes, so he probably wasn�t colorblind. Which means he probably didn�t care what color he was. However, sometimes you care about things that you can�t see, just because you�re self conscious. I still think that Fred didn�t know he was red because there wasn�t a way for him to find out. He couldn�t see, and he had no ears, so no one could tell him. They probably wouldn�t have told him anyway, because people don�t like to tell you things that make you self conscious unless they don�t like you. Since Fred couldn�t have spoken to them or communicated through sign language or writing, they didn�t know if they liked him or not. But it doesn�t matter because Fred didn�t have ears. Not that someone should be self conscious because they�re red. I�m not saying that there�s anything wrong with being red, it�s just that people don�t know what others will be self conscious over. Maybe Fred wouldn�t have liked being red. Even though he would have no idea what that was, because he had no eyes and no one could tell him what red was because he had no ears, which is how they couldn�t have told him he was red in the first place. Therefore, I don�t think Fred was self conscious, because he didn�t know he was red. So Fred also had a characteristic of not being self conscious, even though he was red. Because he didn�t know he was red. Whenever my dad wears a red shirt to a store, people always think that he works there and ask him questions about the merchandise. He�s created a standard reply to the questions. He says, �Well, I don�t work here, but I think...� I think he should purposefully give them the wrong answers, because they should know that the people at Walmart don�t wear red shirts. They deserve it. Pansies. I don�t know if my dad�s shirt was the same color red as Fred, because I�ve never seen Fred and the shirt right next to each other. But it doesn�t matter, because since Fred couldn�t see color because he had no eyes and no ears to be told he was red, he didn�t know what color he was. Therefore, it isn�t that important to his personality, because since he didn�t know he was red, he couldn�t take a position on his color and join the council. Or is it counsel? I�ve always had difficulties with the differences between capital and capitol. I�ve also wondered which way is the correct way to pronounce �either.� There have been theories and multiple tests to try to see if Fred�s happiness spouted (that is now a word) from him not knowing what red was. If that turned out to be the cause, the scientists were planning on banishing red. However, since Fred didn�t know what red was, he didn�t know whether or not him not knowing about it made him happy. So therefore, the scientists created a machine that banished red from the entire universe. They called (or christened, to bump up the word count) a random color red in place of the old red. So the red you know now isn�t really red. And you�ll never know what the real red is because it doesn�t exist anymore. So sorry. But you have Fred to thank for that. But if you asked me, the scientists behaved irrationally. Obviously, they couldn�t get Fred�s opinion because he didn�t have a mouth, and he didn�t have hands to use sign language or to write anything down. So they made up their own conclusion and banished red. I liked red. I saw it before it was banned. It was very pretty, much prettier than any reds we have now. It makes me wonder if there will ever come a time when the scientist ban the new red. I wonder what color my dad�s shirt would turn to. So now you know everything there is to know about Fred.
Walmart is copyright to Walmart.
At least I hope Walmart is copyright to Walmart. I didn't actually check my facts on that one. They'll probably sue me. But I'll sue them first for using a name that isn't copyright to them.