Shattered
Vejiita flew slowly, beneath the level of the
treetops, weaving around trunks and ducking branches, his thoughts not really
on where he was going. He just needed to move, to be outside, and he needed
time to think.
He almost didn’t want to. He didn’t want to be
alone with his thoughts, didn’t really want to know where they would take him.
But it would have been cowardly not to, and so he forced himself to try and
understand what he was feeling.
He was severely depressed, that much was
obvious, but he couldn’t seem to get past it. The feeling clung to him
stubbornly, no matter what he tried to get rid of it. It had been three days
since the incident with Goku had left him a sniveling wreck on the couch. He
hadn’t seen the other Saiya-jin since. But this time it didn’t really feel like
he was trying to avoid Kakarrot. It was more like he had just given up. Once
again, the only thing holding him to life was Trunks.
He hadn’t told him. He hadn’t been able to tell
him. How could he make Trunks understand what was happening to him? It was too
hard, and he had been unable to speak. But even then, in a show of loyalty
Vejiita could barely understand, Trunks had stood by him, providing the simple
support of his presence and... his love. He could not believe he had produced
such a son. Vejiita smiled faintly, realizing that the boy was likely the
single positive effect his life had had on the universe.
Sighing, he glanced around, trying to decide
where he wanted to go next, then paused, slowly sliding to a halt in the air as
something caught his eye. A flash of movement, of bright red shining through
the green of the trees. Mildly curious, he drifted closer, remaining silent as
he slipped forward with his ki suppressed.
What he saw surprised him for a moment and he
hung quietly in the air, his eyebrows rising as he watched. Then he smirked
faintly and settled onto a tree branch, leaning up against the trunk to watch,
eyes narrowing critically.
Pan was in the middle of a small clearing,
dressed in a red t-shirt and running through a sparring routine. The girl had
her black hair tied back in two ponytails and a look of intense concentration
on her face as she moved through her kata.
Vejiita tilted his head to the side, his
depression momentarily forgotten as he folded his arms over his chest,
interested to see what kind of a fighter Gohan’s daughter was becoming. His
eyes lost focus as he extended his senses to touch her ki, which she was not
keeping suppressed. After a moment he pulled back, gazing at the young girl
contemplatively. Her ki, while not anything amazing, was substantial for a
ten-year-old. She had the potential to be a competent warrior, if given the
proper training.
Vejiita noted the intensity with which she
performed her routine, all of her concentration on each moment. He shook his
head a little, frowning slightly. Not good. It was one thing to be focused, it
was another to completely forget about your surroundings. She should have
noticed him by now, if she had been paying attention. His ki was suppressed,
but he was extremely close to her and she should have picked him up. Curious,
he abruptly dropped his barriers, allowing his ki to spread outward. To anyone
able to sense it, Pan’s ki would have been totally lost in the strength of
Vejiita’s, reduced to an insignificant speck.
The girl continued to perform her kata,
oblivious, and Vejiita frowned in dissatisfaction. Then he smirked slightly,
his black eyes glittering.
Setting down the small box he’d been carrying,
he slipped silently off his perch and floated down until he was directly behind
the little warrior, barely a foot away from her. After watching in amusement
for a moment, he reached out and tapped her shoulder.
"You’re dead."
She screamed shrilly, stumbling as she tried to
twist around to face him and fell onto her backside, her scent sharply tinged
with startled fright. Wide black eyes stared blankly into Vejiita’s for a
moment as he stood over the fallen girl, his arms crossed over his chest as he
raised an eyebrow.
After a moment Pan released a heavy breath and
pressed a hand to her chest, looking extremely shaken.
"O-Oh... Vejiita..." she said weakly.
"You scared me."
"I shouldn’t have!" Vejiita snapped,
allowing more irritation into his voice than he actually felt. The girl
flinched. "If you’d been paying attention at all you would’ve known I was
here a long time ago."
She swallowed, glancing around nervously.
"How long have you been here?"
"More than ten minutes. If I’d wanted to
kill you I could have done it easily." In reality he could have killed her
easily even if she had known he was there, but that was irrelevant.
"You’ll never be a real fighter like that, girl."
An angry flush colored Pan’s cheeks and the
child jumped to her feet, glaring up at Vejiita with her hands on her hips.
"I’m a good fighter!" she said
indignantly.
"Then why didn’t you feel my ki?"
Vejiita said sharply, "It’s not even suppressed!"
For a moment Pan said nothing, fumbling for a
reply. Finally she said stiffly, "Well, I was concentrating on my workout.
I didn’t think anyone would be here and-"
"And that’s why you’re dead," Vejiita
interjected. "Being a warrior is more than knowing the moves, brat. You
have to think like a warrior. If I had come upon your father like this he would
have known I was here instantly, just as I would if he approached me. You must never
let yourself be taken by surprise. If you know someone is coming you at least
have the chance to run away."
Pan had been standing huffily with her arms
crossed in a posture that reminded Vejiita of himself, but he knew she was
listening. When he said that last, however, she gave him her best glare, which,
needless to say, was less than intimidating. "Run away?! A real
warrior never runs away! You wouldn’t!"
Vejiita forced himself to keep his face in its
normal scowl, fighting the grin that wanted to break free. He snorted. "I
wouldn’t need to run away, little girl. You, on the other hand,
might."
Pan stamped her foot childishly, clenching her
fists. "I am not a little girl! I’m as strong as everyone else!
You’re just a big old jerk! I bet you’re not so strong!"
Vejiita took a slow breath in an attempt to keep
from laughing out loud. "I see. Very well, girl, come and get me."
Pan grinned and stuck her tongue out at him,
blissfully assured of her own youthful prowess. "Fine, I will!" She
crouched into a fighting stance while Vejiita remained standing with his arms
folded, one eyebrow raised. "And don’t you dare go easy on me because I’m
a girl, or I’ll know!"
He inclined his head slightly. "I will
certainly give you my best," he lied. He had no intention of making it
easy on her, but he didn’t want to kill her, either.
Un, he
grunted to himself, Somehow I think Gohan might be upset...
With a ferocious battle-cry, Pan lunged at him,
teeth bared. Having already guessed that she would immediately try the head-on
approach, Vejiita merely side-stepped, giving her a sharp, restrained chop to
the back of the neck that tumbled her to the ground. She rolled onto her knees
and quickly regained her feet, looking slightly disoriented but raising her
fists in determination. Vejiita’s tail swayed from side to side slightly as he
stood still and awaited the next assault. After several moments of unproductive
circling, Pan danced closer to him, then suddenly slid to the side and twisted
into a spinning kick aimed at his abdomen. Unable to suppress the slight smile
that crossed his face, Vejiita caught her heel in his hand and jerked upward
sharply, causing her other leg to slide out from beneath her and once more
toppling her to the ground with a crash.
Pan slowly climbed to her feet, spitting grass
and glaring murderously. Vejiita smirked at her and shook his head, ‘tsk,
tsk’ing in an intentionally irritating manner. The young girl wiped her face
with the back of her hand before resuming her fighting stance again.
Suddenly she screamed in rage and rushed him
again, flailing at him wildly with her fists as well as throwing the occasional
kick. Vejiita lightly slipped around all of them, every once in a while
deflecting a blow that required too much effort to dodge. After several moments
of humoring her he abruptly curled his hand into a fist and punched her
sharply, sending her flying backward across the clearing.
This time it took her longer to get up. Vejiita
had paid careful attention to the amount of force he struck her with. Not
enough to do any real damage, but certainly enough to hurt, enough to leave her
head spinning.
Pan staggered to her feet and swayed slightly as
she looked at him dazedly. Vejiita folded his arms again, shifting his weight
at as he gazed back at her. "Think about what you’re doing, brat. It’s
quite obvious that you will not be able to take me head-on, yet you insist on
that approach. Use your head when you fight! When your opponent is stronger
than you, you must try a new tactic!"
Pan snarled at him. "I don’t have to listen
to you!"
Vejiita nodded in agreement, an amused smile
pulling at his lips. "No, you do not. But I promise you that you’ll be
wishing you had if you continue to try and defeat me with brute force."
"Ahhrrghh!" Pan screamed, dark eyes
flashing. "What do you know?!"
She immediately flew at him once more and a few
seconds later found herself face-down in the dirt again. Vejiita sighed and
shook his head, bending over to dust off his jeans, then straightening and
adjusting his leather jacket.
Over the next half an hour Pan proceeded to
amaze Vejiita with her stamina, though not particularly with her intelligence.
She continued to rush him and he continued to bat her down. Each time she
determinedly stumbled to her feet and attacked again, her movements becoming
more and more clumsy.
After Vejiita had knocked her down for what
seemed to him to be the hundredth time, he leaned back against a tree, crossing
his ankles and watching her through half-lidded eyes as she lay sprawled in the
grass for long moments. Then he saw her stir and begin to climb to her feet
again and he sighed, pushing away from the tree in exasperation. "Don’t
you think it’s about time you stopped, brat? Are you trying to prove something
by this, or what? You don’t honestly think you have a chance of even scratching
me, do you?"
Pan paused in the middle of getting up, then
suddenly collapsed so she was sitting in the grass, wiping miserably at the
blood trickling down her chin. She shrugged in an attempt to appear nonchalant.
"Naw... I... I knew I couldn’t beat you, Vejiita. I just wanted to try
that’s all... I wanted to see how... what I’d do..."
Vejiita raised an eyebrow at her, beginning to
take several steps away. "Well, I hope you enjoyed yourself, kid. Maybe
you should stick to your dolls from now on. It’d be a lot less painful for
you."
He smirked, then turned and was preparing to
leave when an odd sound halted him. He froze in place, then, almost against his
will, slowly turned to look back at her.
"Oh, dammit..." he said under his
breath.
Pan was crying softly, her head bowed as she
tried to muffle the sounds. Vejiita stood uncertainly for several moments,
wanting badly to just leave, but feeling like that would be cowardly. He idly
fiddled with the zipper of his jacket for a moment, then cleared his throat.
"Hey, brat, come on. What’s your
problem?"
Pan sniffled a little, wiping at her eyes as her
ears turned red. A soft sigh escaped her as she gazed down at her hands. For a
moment Vejiita thought she wasn’t going to answer, then she finally mumbled,
"Nobody takes me seriously."
Vejiita looked at her blankly for a moment.
"What?"
Pan shrugged and began tearing at the grass
beneath her fingers. "You guys... all of you... Grandpa, Dad, Uncle
Goten.... everyone thinks I’m a joke. Even Trunks just humors me, I know
it."
"What are you talking about?" Vejiita
snapped.
The girl suddenly looked up at him, her large,
dark eyes shimmering with tears. "I want to be a fighter, like all of you!
But all of you just think I’m funny, or ‘cute’. No one wants to really teach me
anything... Everyone thinks that I’m a weakling just because I’m a girl. If
Daddy had had a boy somebody would have been training him for real by
now."
Vejiita frowned, folding his arms over his
chest. Once he thought about it, the girl was probably right. As far as he
knew, no one had ever really seriously thought about Pan as a warrior.
And, from everything he’d seen of her as she’d fought him, she really did want
to be one, very badly in fact. She’d just never been given any true training.
He nodded thoughtfully to himself. On Vejiitasai female warriors had been
nearly as common as male ones; every Saiya-jin was expected to learn how to
fight. If he’d had a daughter he would certainly have expected to have her
trained. Looking back down at the girl sitting dejectedly on the ground,
Vejiita’s eyes narrowed. Finally he sighed, shifting his weight
self-consciously as he cleared his throat again.
"Well, first of all, your fighting style is
too restricted. You attack pretty much the same way every time, and you become
predictable very quickly. What you need to do is..."
About an hour later Vejiita watched Pan fly off
excitedly after thanking him repeatedly, eager to show Gohan her new
techniques. He hadn’t really taught her anything much, but it was a start, and
hopefully it would make her father realize how intensely she wanted to be a
warrior. He was mildly surprised that he had bothered to take the time to tell
her anything instead of just brushing her off. He didn’t know why he had felt
compelled to help her, but she had been amazingly grateful and eager to learn.
She was a bit cocky, too. She really did remind him a little of himself.
Shrugging Vejiita gathered his ki together and
floated over to the tree where he had abandoned his iirlanth, carefully
extracting it from the nich he had left it in. Tucking it against his chest, he
again flew into the quiet woods, his mood slowly darkening again after the
surprising lift Pan had given it. He closed his eyes briefly, wishing for the
thousandth time that that day in the woods had never happened, that Goku had
never discovered what had happened in his past.
Everything... is so much harder now...
His throat tightened and he clenched his teeth,
trying to ignore the emotion, pushing it aside, away from him.
I never wanted him to know... And I didn’t
want to know... how I felt...
Ignorance truly was bliss. If he could only have
continued to tell himself that he despised Kakarrot, he would not be suffering
like he was now. If he had never realized... But in truth, there were things...
that he could not give up now. He and Trunks might never have come to understand
each other... His son could still be alienated from him now, if not for what
had happened with Kakarrot.
But God, it hurt. Feeling him like he
did... and wishing...
Shaking his head, Vejiita slipped downward,
landing softly on the forest floor. After a moment he crouched and carefully
set down the iirlanth, flipping the latches and opening the case. The
dark instrument was barely visible in the dim light of the forest as he pulled
it out and put it together, the pieces sliding into place smoothly. Still
feeling an ache low in his throat, he quietly adjusted the pitch, tuning the
instrument until he was satisfied.
Breathing shallowly, he brought the iirlanth
to his lips and began to play, his eyes falling closed. The song came to him
without thought. He did not try to direct his fingers, merely let them move
across the keys in whatever patterns they chose, the music clear and
unrestrained. The song the iirlanth sang was grief. It was loneliness
and hopeless pain, spun together in a heart-wrenching melody of terrible
longing. The whispering ache of the minor key was accented by the soft sound of
the leaves rustling around the kneeling prince, the murmur of the wind
strangely melancholy as it swept through the branches.
Vejiita’s whole soul was pulled into the song;
the music had always been his release, ever since he was a child. He played his
feelings, letting conscious thought slip away as he lost himself in the sound,
the notes drawn from his very being as he became his music.
But even through the depths of the song, he felt
him, when he came. His presence was soft, unobtrusive, remaining quiet and
respectfully distant, but Vejiita could feel him. But he could not release his
song now, and... that presence... was not offensive. So he continued to play,
until his song was concluded.
When the last note faded he slowly lowered the iirlanth,
letting the instrument rest in his lap as he felt the coolness of the earth
through his jeans. He opened his eyes, gazing at the ground for a moment before
he looked a little beyond, at the pair of feet standing several yards away.
"Kakarrot," he said softly, his voice
an acknowledgment.
Looking down again, he carefully pulled the iirlanth
apart, taking out a soft cloth and beginning to clean it. He could feel the
other Saiya-jin approaching quietly as he placed it in the case and shut the
latches, setting it against the base of a tree.
When Goku was very close he crouched down, and
Vejiita slowly lifted his gaze to meet those dark eyes. And when he did a
longing ache built in his chest. His throat tightened. And he knew he
shouldn’t. He had no right, none at all. Everything in him knew it, knew that
he was wrong, that he should stop and move away. He knew it. But it hurt so
badly, and in that moment he didn’t care.
Vejiita’s eyes closed as he leaned forward,
unable to stop himself and not willing to try. He couldn’t do it anymore. And
so he kissed him.
Kakarrot’s lips were soft as their mouths
pressed together, warm and gentle against Vejiita’s. He felt Goku start slightly
in surprise, then the other Saiya-jin’s hand slid around to cup the back of
Vejiita’s head, fingers threading through dark hair as he returned the kiss.
Vejiita reached up to grip Goku’s shirt in unsteady hands, a soft moan escaping
him at their contact.
God... please...
Then a sudden chill touched him and he pulled
back, away from the other Saiya-jin’s warmth. He could not do this.
He could feel his cheeks flushing faintly as he
drew away, his fingers catching hold of the iirlanth as he rose to his feet.
What the hell was wrong with him?! He knew that this wasn’t for him,
even if Kakarrot didn’t.
"I’m sorry," he said roughly as he
turned away. He was forced to halt half a moment later, however, as strong
fingers caught his wrist. He closed his eyes briefly, then opened them again,
looking out into the forest with his back still to the other Saiya-jin.
"Yes?"
"Vejiita, wait... I... We need to talk...
please..."
Vejiita took a slow breath, then turned around.
"What do you want to talk about?"
Goku glared at him for a moment. "Don’t
play dumb, Vejiita! We both know that we have to resolve what’s happening
between us."
Vejiita glanced to the side for a moment, then
looked down at Goku’s hand, still grasping his wrist. "It’s resolved.
Nothing is going to happen, that’s the end of it. I’m... I didn’t mean to do
that. I’m sorry."
He tried to pull away, then frowned slightly as
Goku’s grip tightened. He looked at the other Saiya-jin again.
"I’m not sorry, Vejiita," Goku
said, straightening but not releasing Vejiita’s wrist. "And nothing’s
resolved. I think I at least deserve to know what’s going on before you run
away on me. I want you to explain to me... what you said before."
Vejiita’s chest tightened in apprehension. It
was clear what Goku meant by ‘before’. He wanted Vejiita to explain everything
he had said when he had told Goku to leave him three days before. And he
did.... he did deserve an explanation. But he was so.... he didn’t want to talk
about it. He had never talked about it. He wet his lips, feeling a faint
tremor shake him. He had to.
After a moment of silence he pulled against
Goku’s hold slightly. "You can let go of me, Kakarrot, I’m not
leaving."
There was a slight hesitation, then Goku’s grip
fell away and he stood quietly, watching Vejiita. The Saiya-jin prince took a
deep breath, idly adjusting his jacket as he stared out at the shifting leaves
of the trees surrounding him.
"What," he cleared his throat,
"What, then, do you want me to tell you?"
For a moment Goku said nothing, shifting his weight
and sliding his hands into his pockets as he regarded the smaller Saiya-jin.
Finally he said quietly, "I want you to tell me about you. You said if I
really knew you, I would want to kill you myself. Just... tell me about your
life. I want to know you."
Vejiita gave a short, harsh laugh, completely
devoid of humor, more a sign of nerves than anything else. "Getting right
to the point, I see." He brushed his hands off on his jeans, exhaling
slowly. He pulled back into his mind, trying to find the coldness, the
distance, so the memories would not hurt. When he spoke his voice was flatly
monotone.
"As you know, I was born on Vejiitasai. My
father, obviously, was King Vejiita, and my mother was Queen Kukembura. As far
as I understand, she was called Bura by those closest to her. I never knew her,
however. She died giving birth to me. I was their first living child. My
sister, who did not survive long enough to be honored with a name, was
stillborn. I, myself, was not called Vejiita until I had reached four years of
age. By then I had proven I would be worthy of the name."
Goku looked at him oddly. "You didn’t have
a name until you were four? What did they call you then?"
Vejiita shrugged, lifting a shoulder carelessly.
"Brat, whelp, runt... Or, if they were feeling kind, they might call me
‘child’ or ‘boy’."
"That’s terrible..." Goku trailed off
for a moment, then frowned as another thought occurred to him. "But if
Saiya-jin children aren’t named until they’ve ‘earned’ it, how can I have a
name? I was only a baby when they sent me to earth, but they still named
me..."
Vejiita nodded in agreement. "Yes...
Kakarrot... Children of the common class are named when they are born. It is
only within the royal household that names are with held until the child has
proven himself. Or herself, as the case may be. The name of the heir has always
been Vejiita. Until they show that they are worthy to be the next King or
Queen, the name is not given."
Goku realized that they were drifting away from
what he really wanted to know, but he found himself becoming interested in how
things had worked on Vejiitasai. "So, could a woman become the next ruler
as easily as a man?"
Vejiita tipped his head slightly, considering
the question. "It was considered preferable for the heir to be the
firstborn male child. If the child was female, however, that alone would not
remove her from the line of succession. If she proved herself and was able to
demand the respect of her Saiya-jin warriors, she would be the next Queen.
Also, if the firstborn male was deemed unfit for succession, the crown title
would fall to the next sibling in line, whether they were male or female, until
a child was accepted."
Goku started to ask something else, then
stopped, shaking his head. He did not want to talk about Vejiitasai’s
history right now. "Anyway," he said, releasing a breath,
"Vejiita... tell me. Please."
The Saiya-jin prince remained still for a time,
then hunched over and began idly tearing at the grass on the forest floor.
"After... After my Naming Ceremony I was truly the crown prince, and the
warriors were expected to treat me as such. It didn’t take long for me to earn
their respect, as I was already stronger than some of them by the time I was
six. My life, such as it was, revolved around my training." For a moment
he glanced at the iirlanth that lay next to him. "This.... was my
only other interest...." There was a brief silence. "And then I...
there was Frieza."
Another, longer silence this time. Vejiita
straightened, brushing his hands on his pants and then tucking his fingers into
his pockets, moving with forced casualness to stand next to an enormous tree,
looking out into the woods. After a moment he brought up a hand and lightly ran
his fingertips over the bark, still gazing blindly ahead. The movement seemed
relaxed enough, but when Goku looked closely, he could see that the prince’s
fingers were trembling faintly. His tail flicked back and forth very slightly.
Sensing that he needed his space, Goku made no
attempt to approach him, instead remaining silent and simply waiting. Vejiita
coughed.
"He, ah.... He honed me for
fighting... Even more intensely than my father. Everything centered on being
the best, on conquering everyone. He didn’t seem to have any motive
other than the desire to dominate, to subjugate... To destroy. As a Saiya-jin
fighting, and, yes, conquering, were in my very blood. But even I.... I had
never seen such a ruthlessness as Frieza possessed. He could not be satisfied.
Nothing was ever enough. As soon as he had conquered a people they were
forgotten. All of his pleasure was taken from the process, the act of
destroying. The end result was only a byproduct...
"He raised me to kill. At first I
thought... I thought only of fighting him, of killing him, but then I...
He kept... kept me in line." There was a twisting, jagged bitterness and
humiliation in Vejiita’s voice as he spoke, and Goku didn’t have to guess at
how Frieza had kept him in line. He closed his eyes for a moment as bile rose
in his throat. "And I hated him. I hated him with more
violence, more utter, mind-destroying passion.... I don’t think... I can’t even
describe to you what it is to feel it, Kakarrot. You couldn’t understand it,
you’ve never imagined it." Vejiita looked at him for a moment, his eyes
burning darkly. "And I don’t want you to ever feel it."
Vejiita looked away again, taking a slow breath
and gathering himself before continuing. "But... as time passed, the
hatred I felt for Frieza, it.... It didn’t grow less... If anything, it
matured, but... That hatred was transferred to other things. To the people I
fought, to the people I killed. I hated everything, Kakarrot, you don’t
understand. You don’t even know what hate is." Vejiita’s voice was
ragged as he spoke. "You think I’m noble, Kakarrot? You think I’m
good? You have no idea... I killed those people, all of those people, and I enjoyed
it. The one time when I felt any pleasure for myself was when I was
inflicting pain on others, when I was in control, and watching them cower and beg
for their pitiful lives."
Goku felt a faint touch of alarm, watching the
prince. Caught in his memories, Vejiita’s face was twisted cruelly, teeth
together in a vicious snarl even as he spoke. There was such a hostility, a
frightening coldness to him...
"It made me laugh, to watch them. To listen
to them whine, how they’d promise to serve me, they’d do anything if I
would let them go free. As if I cared. As if I would spare them. But I
knew how to play, and I did. I’d let them hope, for a moment, and then I’d kill
them, and I smiled when I did it. All that mattered was that I was powerful,
and I forced others to acknowledge it. They would know, they would know
that I was not weak... I was never weak!"
There was a fevered intensity to Vejiita’s voice
now, an almost insane gleam in his eyes, his muscles tight as he nearly
quivered with the violence of his thoughts. Goku stared at him, feeling
horrified, but at the same time deeply moved, and extremely saddened. He
watched the prince, and realized where everything was focused, where it had
always been focused.
"It was because of Frieza," he
whispered, hardly realizing he had spoken aloud. Vejiita’s gaze snapped to him.
"Everything... you wanted Frieza, so your hatred turned on others."
"Yes," Vejiita hissed, "It was
Frieza. But I still did it. And every time I killed someone I imagined it was
Frieza who was dying, Frieza who was screaming. Every time I killed someone,
someone innocent they were merely a release, a vessel for my hatred. I
killed them for my pleasure, I used them for their deaths. And Frieza
loved it. He knew I hated him and he used it, used it to further my power, the
blood I shed for him." Vejiita’s voice was clipped and hard as he nearly
threw the words at Goku. "He even increased it, he... he pushed it. The
moment I showed the slightest streak of independent thought or action he
punished me. And he punished me in the most humiliating, horrifying ways. And I
knew what he was going to do and I couldn’t stop him and he loved
it."
Goku vaguely realized he was pale. "You
mean," he whispered, his voice raw, "He still... Even when you...
When you were... were an adult, he still... still..."
Vejiita sneered at him. "Of course,
Kakarrot! You think that just because I was a ‘grown up’ now Frieza was suddenly
going to be nice! Don’t be naive! You’re so pathetically innocent! You have no
comprehension of the things that go on, the abominations that live
inside people’s heads. You want to know what hell is, Kakarrot? Other people
are hell! We are hell! We create it, no God needs to do it for us! We
are... I am... the most perverse, most disgusting of all living
creatures. If you really want to know, the last time Frieza had me was a
whole week before I first met you!" Vejiita’s face twisted as he
said viciously, "I was still aching from that fucking! But I was
feeling better, you know why? Because I was going out. I was going somewhere
where I could dominate, where I could be the master. I was ready to drag
myself from the pit of my worthlessness by causing the destruction of
others...."
Vejiita slowly turned to face Goku fully,
seemingly shaking with rage, his breathing harsh. "And you know what
happened then? I met you."
Goku blinked, his lips parting but nothing
coming out. Vejiita took a step forward, his body taut with fury. "I met
you..." His voice suddenly rose as he screamed, "And I lost!"
His chest heaved as his hands curled into fists,
eyes glittering. "I lost!! Everything, everything I had ever
believed, anything I had left was gone! We fought and I... I had never
even conceived that I could lose! It had never... I-I-... But then you
came and y-y-you beat me! You never knew, you have no idea!!
Kakarrot, you bastard, you destroyed me! Never, I could never be
the same again. The little world I still had was shattered and I could
never, ever get it back! Because I wasn’t the strongest, I wasn’t the
best, not even among my own people! And so I was worthless and utterly,
completely wretched, and it was you! It’s always been you! Everything
is because of you!" As Vejiita spoke, his hair began to slowly
stiffen, brightening, his irises gradually growing lighter. A choked, sobbing
laugh escaped him. "And then, when you had beaten me, you didn’t even have
the decency to let me die! You fucking spared me and you forced
me to live with my humiliation. You shamed me with your mercy! And I- God!"
With that sudden, despairing cry, Vejiita’s hair
and eyes blazed and he lunged at Goku, fully powered up to SSJ3. Goku barely
had time to dodge the attack, his brain still reeling with everything Vejiita
had just told him. As it was Vejiita clipped his shoulder, spinning him to the
ground. The Saiya-jin prince immediately rounded on him and kicked his ribs
sharply, sending him flying backward through the air. Gasping in pain, he
managed to right himself, then snarled and made the jump to SSJ3. But even as
he let the anger consume him, needed the anger to maintain his power, he was
detached from it, and he knew that Vejiita had not truly angered him. But he
knew, too, that Vejiita needed the fight. He did not want to be coddled,
he did not want to be pitied. He needed the release, and, honestly, with
everything he had just heard, Goku needed it too. Some of Vejiita’s tension,
his agony had spilled over into him, and the fight, the mindless, brilliant art
of it was something they both craved.
The two Saiya-jin’s met each other head on, and
in this fight their was no holding back. There was no casual air, no feel of a
sparring match, only a desperate intensity, an almost fevered pitch to their
combat. Their was no use of energy, no expending of ki for this battle. It was
punishingly physical, brutally intense as they pummeled each other with
bone-crunching force, relying purely on the greatness of their strength. Goku
did not hold back. He did not want to, and in Vejiita was the person for which
he didn’t have to hold back, who wouldn’t tolerate it. Vejiita would
take his blows and return them point for point, matching his ferocity in every
way. Goku was, in fact, amazed at the prince’s strength, astonished by his
skill. They had been closely matched before, when Vejiita had first reached
SSJ3, and now he had his tail once more. Goku was pressed painfully hard to
keep up with his prince, and it left him with a faint but growing sense of
urgency.
A vicious strike to his gut doubled him over,
followed by the tip of Vejiita’s combat boot meeting with his nose, snapping
his head backward, and he felt blood beginning to trickle over his lips,
joining the crimson liquid already spilling from numerous other cuts. As
Vejiita twisted into a follow up kick, he spun and struck out with his own
foot, blocking Vejiita’s attack with a painful kick to the prince’s thigh.
Vejiita grunted but recovered amazingly fast, whirling with astonishing speed and
cracking his elbow into the back of Goku’s neck.
Pain lanced up Goku’s spine and for a moment he
saw white, then shook his head sharply, gathering his wits enough to slide
around another attack from the prince. He was nearly shaking with nerves.
He could not lose.
Everything in him screamed it. For whatever
reason, right now, at this moment, he could not lose. Regardless of anything
that happened in the future, or what had gone on in the past, he could
absolutely not afford to lose this specific fight. He had to win,
he must...
He felt it more strongly, more intensely, than
he had ever felt anything in his life, and from somewhere he pulled out the
strength. Goku’s power had always been in finding seemingly impossible reserves
at the moment they most needed it, at finding the strength from somewhere,
dragging it from inside himself seemingly from sheer will. He could do it. He
had to.
Moving impossibly fast, Goku snapped around
behind Vejiita, locking his arms through the prince’s and slamming his knee
into the smaller man’s back. Vejiita’s momentary look of surprise turned into a
hiss of pain, lips curling away from his teeth, and in an impressive burst of
struggling, he managed to break free. But now Goku could not release what had
gripped him and he followed, pressing Vejiita without mercy, taking painful
blows himself, but never letting up.
Finally after what seemed hours of exhausting
struggle, Goku dealt a crushing blow to Vejiita’s head, blood spraying from the
prince’s mouth as his head snapped to the side. Vejiita went limp, his long
locks bleeding into black as he lost his golden form and plummeted toward the
ground, landing heavily. He did not get up.
Goku immediately dropped out of SSJ as well, his
lungs screaming with exhaustion as he fell to the ground beside the Saiya-jin
prince. Trembling with weariness, but somehow also desperately relieved, for
long moments he lay quietly, very slowly recovering his breath. Finally he
turned to his right, bracing himself on his elbow to look at the prince lying
motionless beside him. The smaller Saiya-jin’s eyes were closed, blood
streaking his face, which was twisted into a mask of pain. Gently, his hand
shaking faintly, Goku reached out and brushed his cheek.
"Vejiita..."
Slowly, the prince’s eyes opened, his gaze
shifting to Goku’s. The black irises shimmered with tears and Goku swallowed,
his heart aching.
"Kakkarot...," Vejiita whispered back,
licking blood from his lips, "please... just... end it. Please... It seems
you are fated always to win and I... I want... to stop. I want it to be
over." The tears spilled, tracing paths down his cheeks in the slowly
fading light. "I’m so tired, Kakkarot. I’m tired of everything. I don’t
deserve to live, we both know it now... You know... you know what I am. I kind
of wished once... that... you might not have to know. Because you are
innocent... But I..." The prince closed his eyes for a moment, taking a
shuddering breath. "Please... Kakkarot... tell..." Vejiita hesitated
looking up at the stars that were slowly beginning to appear in the deepening
sky. A slow sigh. "Tell Trunks that I love him."
For a moment there was an odd silence as they
both realized that it was the first time Vejiita had said those words aloud.
Then Goku seemed to startle awake, shaking his head. "Vejiita," he
said, his voice hard and gentle all at once, "I will not let you do this. I
will not do this. You are the prince of Vejiitasai, and you are a worthy
person. I want you to stay, Vejiita, please. I won’t kill you. And I don’t
think... I don’t think that’s really what you want.
Vejiita stared up at him for long moments, the
hazy pink-orange sky casting long shadows around them. "Kakarrot," he
whispered finally, his voice tight and strangled, "how can you not
hate me? Why don’t you hate me? I hate myself..."
Goku tried unsuccessfully to swallow the lump in
his throat, feeling the tears rise in his eyes. Gently, he pressed his forehead
to Vejiita’s, simply looking into the prince’s eyes. His voice was a
barely-audible whisper. "Oh... Vejiita-sama..."
For long moments nothing was said, the two
Saiya-jins unmoving as they gazed at each other. Finally Vejiita looked away,
shifting slightly. "I’m... I’m sorry, Kakarrot. I’m sorry for breaking
down like this. It’s... Of course I’ll... I’ll go on living. I just..."
He flushed lightly, gradually dragging himself
into a sitting position, groaning as he did so. Goku staggered to his feet,
wobbling slightly, then reached down and clumsily helped Vejiita up. For a
moment they leaned against each other before Goku said softly, "Why don’t
we go over to my house and find some bandages, or at least some
antiseptic." He laughed softly. "I think we both need it. Goten’s not
home tonight; he’s out with some school friends."
After a moment of silence, Vejiita nodded.
"Yeah I... I guess."
The two took several stumbling steps forward
before lifting gracelessly into the air, heading toward Goku’s home with a
slow, swerving flight.
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