So, you want to move to Redding, Ca.
This was sent to me by my friend who has been communicating to a woman who moved to Redding recently from elsewhere. He's been taking her experiences out of the e-mails and saving them. Finally, he compiled them and sent them to me.
A typical story from a typical outsider.
(My notes)
And yes, I live in Redding too.
From: M. C.
Sent: Friday, August 19, 2005 10:43 AM
Subject: Beautiful Redding....
May 30th:
Just moved to Redding! Now this is a city that knows how to live! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! It is beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here!
June 14th:
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.
June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
July 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat?
(Use the A/C less? That's how I do it. But, what I make at what I do, A/C is a
luxury.) At least, it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
July 15th:
Fell asleep by the community pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
July 20th:
I missed Lomita, my cat, sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a water balloon. The car now smells like Kibbles and shits. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat. Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.
July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.
July 30th:
Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now, $225,000 house and I can't even go inside. Lomita is the lucky one. Why did I ever come here?
(How did she find a house so cheap? All the other outsiders and greedy assed
realtors are driving the prices to insane heights.)
Aug. 4th:
It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate Redding!
Aug. 8th:
If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!
Aug. 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire. My skin melted to the seat. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass ....... Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.
Aug 10th:The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do shit for two damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this place? Water rationing will be next, so my $1,700 worth of landscaping will just dry up and blow over. Even cactus can't live in this damn heat.
Aug. 14th:
Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. (Only 115? What a wuss.) All plants are dead. My yard looks like Hiroshima. Forgot to crack the windows and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?"
. . . . My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking Redding. What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??