The 12 Day Playa
These Christmas carols are getting out of hand. Some of these are terrible messages, with a terrible story as the undertone. By this point in our lives, we have all heard the marathon Christmas song The 12 Days of Christmas. Has anybody ever stopped to actually consider what is going on in this song? Because I have! What I see is a guy pouring his heart and soul into gifts, and overall getting played as a result. We need to wake this guy up to what is actually going on, and people everywhere must take the moral of the song to heart.
The song goes in quite some detail about the various presents one person buys for their �true love� for Christmas over a 12 day period. First off, you know the gender implications for this song from just this description alone. Although the song is not specific in any way, you know that is a man buying all of these gifts for a woman. You know that shit is a woman gold-digger, playing the poor guy for all he is worth at Christmas time. No way would a woman put that kind of effort into something for a man. She would just sit on her ass in front of her God Oprah, and bitch and moan about the lack of presents she receives, with a very selfish tone. Of course this is a hypocritical perspective, hence it makes sense when put in the context of the common woman. And that guy goes to some pretty incredible length to satisfy his so called �true love� too. He gets all kinds of exotic animals, such as geese, doves, hens, calling birds, and swans. Where the hell he managed to pull all of these birds out of is beyond me, but what I do know is that he had to have gone through a lot of trouble to get them. He also seemingly went to the four corners of the world to get his �true love� incredible entertainment, as seen with 10 Lords, 11 pipers, and 12 drummers. Imagine the price of all these personal musicians on a holiday salary? This guy is going all out. He even goes as far as to by this �true love� 5�yes, count them 5!�golden rings. Now granted, I do not know what this man�s job is, or where he is getting all of his money from to pay for all of these very expensive gifts, but he must be living in a cardboard box or something to satisfy his �true love�s� greed.
You know what sticks out in my mind through the midst of all of this insane gift giving? There is not one mention of a reciprocal exchange of gifts. Nope, this guy puts in the effort every day; he hunts down all of these crazy gifts without the aid of eBay mind you, and dishes out the cost to see a smile on the face of his �true love�. But he never gets anything in return. There is no mention of any gifts this guy gets for Christmas, but instead, the woman�like a ravenous beast�keeps wanting more, and more, AND MORE! Like, are you kidding me? Why does this guy bother? Unless this woman is putting out every night, and is REALLY good at it too, I cannot think of any logical reason.
This is the type of �true love� that men everywhere must look out for at Christmas time: The gold-digging, two-timing, selfish, �I�ll use you until you are all used up� kind of bitch! True love my hairy, sweaty ass! This �true love� is breaking up with this guy December 26th guaranteed. After all, what use does she have for a broke man? Companionship? Please! Unless the guy�s best friend is Benjamin Franklin, it�s over as soon as the cash flow stops. And in this case, that sounds like it is going to be pretty soon, considering the expensive nature of the gifts she is receiving.
And you know that bitch is playin� other guys on the side. What�s better than having one guy buy you expensive, elaborate gifts? Multiple guys doing the same thing all at once. That�s right. This skank is whoring herself all over town, getting guys to spend every last cent of their paycheck on her at Christmas. Once one guy goes broke, it is time to move on to the next guy. This poor sap figures he has found his true love�he has found the woman who loves him through thick and thin, and for that reason he does not mind dishing out for these crazy presents. Unfortunately, like many men of the world, this poor guy has been blinded by the promise (in this case false or not is unclear) of sex.
What concerns me most about this �sweet little Christmas song� is that it is used as a brainwashing tool. To begin with, you know 100% this song was written by a woman. With that in mind, women for many years have been playing this song in their house, in the mall, even in the car on the radio to subliminally implement the thought in the brains of men everywhere to blow all their savings on their girlfriend at Christmas. This brainwashing concept could very well explain why men unexplainably do not seem to expect a gift in return, and why they are so dubious to getting played like this. But you know what gold-digging skank from this song? Your trick did not work on me. I see what�s going on here, and I know what you are trying to do. I give you this warning men: do not fall for these sleazy tricks. Pick-up a girlfriend on February 15th. Once you have taken the gift exchange checkpoints of Christmas, New Years and Valentines Day out of the mix, then we will see exactly how many women seem interested in beginning a relationship. And although I would strongly recommend not doing the following if at all possible, but get your woman a gift if you feel compelled to do so. However, if there is not a box with your name on it under the Christmas tree by December 24th; take that shit back to the store for a refund, and dump that gold-digging bitch you are with! Do not let the 12 Days of Christmas scam make a victim out of you!
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