I’ll Kick Your Ass!

      Have you ever physically threatened a person before? Suggesting that if they do not change their behavior to better meet your personal expectations, you will kick their ass? Or even go so far as to threaten to kill them? Many forms of threats can be used, and probably most people by first grade have heard them all. Those little kids are getting pretty vicious in these days…like a pack of feared, overly aggressive chiwawas. (Parents, please be careful of the age warnings for professional wrestling). Of these usually empty threats on one’s physical well being, there are two specific common threats that are used more than many others. These two taunts include beating someone up, and beating someone down. However, often times these terms are used in the wrong context, as they are two completely different challenges involving two completely different methods of assault. To clear up any confusion a person might have between the two; this essay will now elaborate on these differences.

      The concept of beating someone up is entirely different then that of beating someone down. When one suggests that he/she will beat another person up, it insinuates that they will carry out this objective using their weapons given by nature. This means that to beat someone up, only your own body, (i.e. Hands, feet, elbows and knees) will be used. One example of a beat up is the stereotypical schoolyard fight. We all know how this goes: One kid says something vulgar, and in most cases something sexual about the other kid’s Mother, the second kid gets offended and threatens to kick the first kid’s ass, a group of people form a human ring chanting, “FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!” and in most cases nothing happens. However, when this scenario does in fact result in an actual physical confrontation, it follows the principles of beating someone up; as there are no weapons involved, and the declared winner of the fight has done so with his/her own two fists. Generally, beating someone up is done in a one-on-one situation. Such as the one-on-one schoolyard fight previously mentioned. However, also in existence is the much rarer outnumbered beat up. One can watch any Jackie Chan movie to understand what this is. This is a low budget gang beating in which a group of people are beating someone up. Although the victim is outnumbered, they are still getting assaulted by fists. Not to mention that many punches, such as the uppercut, move in a vertically upward motion. Hence, it is known as beating someone “up”. So of course, keep in mind next time you make this kind of a threat, and if you plan on using your own appendages for an onslaught against another person, remember to threaten to beat them up.

      The idea of beating someone down is opposite in many respects to that of beating someone up. When a person suggests that he/she will beat their peer down, they are insinuating that it will be done in a more brutal and vicious manner. Beating someone down, to fit this description, is always done with some sort of weapon. Keep in mind that to beat someone down, it must be a blunt weapon. For example, if two people (often hillbillies) were to go stickin’ (fight using 2X4 pieces of wood for the purposes of gambling), the winner of this fight could boast that he/she just beat someone down. He/she can do so appropriately because they won in a vicious manner, and they used a blunt weapon, following the principles of beating someone down. An example of where the term “beating someone down” is a misappropriation would be something such as a monkey knife fight, something made more famous by “The Simpsons”. Although this type of fight would follow one principle of beating someone down in that a weapon must be used, it does not do so with a blunt weapon. In this case, it uses the sharp weapon being a knife. It also does not fall under the category of beating someone up, as it does not involve only one’s body. Just as beating someone up could be done at unfair advantages, so too can be done when beating someone down. An example of this is the stereotypical gang beating. This is where a group of people target a particular person, and assault him/her as a group all using baseball bats to do so. A bat is a blunt weapon, so it is known as beating someone down, not up. For simplicity sake, keep in mind that a victim will drop to the ground quickly when being beaten down, so most swings of the bat are in a vertically downwards motion. Hence, you are beating someone down. Remember that next time you are going to threaten someone physically, think about what exactly you plan on doing. If it involves a blunt weapon, please use the correct term of beating someone down.

      There are differences of opinion when it comes to which of these two concepts is better. While some people prefer the idea of beating someone up, others prefer the notion of beating someone down. On the one hand, it can be argued that beating someone up is superior to down. Beating someone up involves only you, with no outside inanimate enhancements. Beating someone up proves that you are physically stronger, and physically better and above the person you have just beat up. Some will say that by beating someone up, you are increasing your own personal image as seen by observers in society, and that it is more humiliating for your opponent, because they have just been shown that their best is not enough to compete with you. And after all, who would not want to humiliate their opponents to the extreme in this situation?
      On the other hand, it can be argued that beating someone down is more fulfilling than beating someone up. This argument often states that since this person has pissed you off to the degree that you want to fight them, you should really leave your mark, along with the mark of a bat, by crippling them as much as possible. This bone-shattering impact will remind the opponent everyday of who is the boss. Not only that, but this is the chance for you to take out all your rage and frustration throughout your whole life on some poor sap. There can be logical arguments made for both beating someone up and beating someone down, but more often then not, it comes down to a person’s personal preference.

      There is a distinguished difference between beating someone up, and beating someone down. As previously mentioned, this is written to explain the difference so that the overly violent, life-threatening types can get it straight. After all, anything worth doing is worth doing right. So please keep in mind that if you are going to say to someone, “I’m going to stick my foot so far up your ass you will be eating shoelaces for breakfast!”, you are planning on kicking their ass in a more literal sense, using your own two hands and feet to do so. Keep the schoolyard fight in mind for an easy way to remember this. On the other hand, if you are going to say to someone, “See this bat? I’ll just be jamming that right down your pee hole”, you are planning to kick their ass using a blunt weapon, to inflict more long term damage and therefore, plan on beating them down. So please, now that you know how to use these terms appropriately, do just that, and stop mixing them up.


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