Easy As A, B, D
Why do we tolerate the letter C? It contributes nothing to the alphabet; all it does is sit there all smug, pretending to be a relevant part of the English language, when it knows full well that it is a leech. The letter C is an imposter; a poser that needs to be punished, and I for one would not hesitate to cast my vote to remove it entirely from the alphabet.
The letter C does not accomplish anything on its own. Instead, it pretends to be hard at work in our everyday vocabulary by imitating other letters. One example of this kind of bullshit includes words like contact, colour, or carpet. Notice that in all of these words, the letter C is used to pronounce a �K� sound. With this in mind, what the hell do we even have C for? We already have a K that can make its own sound thank you very much; we do not need some half-assed K on top of that. Think of how much better the world would be if we just gave the letter K the full recognition it deserves, such as the sentence, �The letter C is a kok-suking kunt�.
Unfortunately, the insanity of this despicable letter does not stop there. It is also used as an inferior substitute for the letter S. Examples of this may include the words city, censor, or certain. Again, what the hell is that? I for one, do not want some fake poser letter replacing my S�s. Like, the only time the letter C makes any kind of original sound is in words like cheat, check, or challenge. Even then it only survives because the letter H is putting in overtime to keep C�s ass out of the fire. No letter C, this is not good enough. Either do your own work, or get the hell out of my alphabet.
To make matters worse, the letter C is a pretty high ranking letter, which is particularly scary considering its highly useless nature. Could you imagine what would happen if the letters A and B got killed in the same car crash? That would instantly propel the letter C to the top of the alphabet. Now sure, there are some perks to the letter C being in charge. After all, if �C� was the new �A�, then all of the sudden I would be doing a lot better in school. But do not let this asshole�s bribery hypnotize you. Do we really want such a lazy, worthless dick-hole in charge of our entire language? As it stands right now, the letter C has already taken work away from the letters K and S. Who knows what it might be capable of if it lands at the top of the alphabetical hierarchy. To begin with, the letters K and S might encounter an �unfortunate accident� conveniently leaving the letter C to dominate their sounds. Also, the letter H is already C�s bitch, who knows what kind of inhumane slave labour H might be put to under C�s command. And that is just to start with; it would not be long until the letter C went on a Nazi like campaign to ethnically cleanse the entire alphabet until it is the only one left.
Letter C, you are an irrelevant leech on the welfare of this language, and I for one will not stand for it anymore. All you really do is confuse people in terms of spelling by not being phonetic, and making up crazy rules like ��I� before �E� except after �C�� that almost never apply. I will not stop until the public is aware of your bullshit, and dismisses you from the alphabet. And if any other letters are thinking about joining when C gets the axe, you had better make damn sure that you are a better contributor than this asshole.
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