Since the dawn of time man has been a very confused being with respect to understanding his counterpart in life: the woman. From the beginning of time, men have wondered in great and elaborate detail about several aspects of female behaviour, formulating specific questions such as, �What is it that women are actually thinking?� �What do I say when I get asked �does this dress make me look fat?�?� And, perhaps the most important of all, and the subject of this essay, �Why do women always go to the bathroom in pairs?� It has been a male tradition for many years that once a man is born, he spends a great deal of his life asking himself questions of this nature, trying to devise a logical answer for contribution to all men everywhere. It has also historically been tradition for men to fail at this attempt. It is with great excitement to announce that on this day, the question of why women go to the bathroom in pairs is finally answered.
It is no secret that women like to go to the bathroom in pairs. However, it is a secret, to men at least, as to what this second woman is used for, or what her purpose is to the original woman. This is a strange phenomenon in which the answer is just as confusing, if not more confusing than the question itself. The primary reason a woman needs to go to the bathroom with another woman is companionship; somebody to talk to. This is a disturbing concept for men to think about, as they are the complete opposite in that they take offence in someone talking to them in the bathroom. Generally when a woman has to go to the bathroom, she will announce this fact to another woman, who in turn will agree to accompany her. One question that still remains from this however, is exactly who is the second woman to accompany the first? There are three schools of thought with respect to this. One is that the second woman must be a friend to the first. After all, if you need someone to talk to, it should be a friend of yours. The second thought is that perhaps this is simply part of the woman�s code, and any woman must be willing to attend to the bathroom needs of any other woman upon request without exception. The third thought comes to mind in the event that there are no other women around with which to go to the bathroom. In this event, it can be assumed, particularly for things such as upper class restaurants that a woman will be assigned to you upon your solitary entrance to the bathroom. In any of these cases, the fact remains that there will be a second woman along with the first.
It was previously mentioned that the purpose of the second woman is to provide conversation for the first. The ironic thing with respect to this is that it is forbidden for the two women to converse during the actual urination itself. During this part of the bathroom experience, it is actually the obligation of the second woman to urinate herself, whether she finds it necessary at that specific time or not. The first woman takes a certain type of comfort in knowing that she is not alone in this very simple, otherwise very personal task.
After the urination is concluded, the two women, joined by other pairs of women carrying out this same action, meet at the sink to �wash up�. (Yes men, I know it is a mind boggling thing for some of you to think about, but some people do in fact actually wash their hands after taking a piss). It is at the wash up phase of the bathroom experience that the actual conversing between to two partners begins. This is done while both women fix their hair, adjust their dresses, apply more make-up, etc, which is the reason why women inevitably take forever in the bathroom. Now, what this conversation actually consists of can vary, however, it can easily be assumed that the most common topic of conversation is the women synchronizing their methods for keeping men confused about certain matters, such as why they go to the bathroom in pairs.
Once both parties have agreed that enough time has unnecessarily been spent in the bathroom, they will together enter the final stage of their very unique journey in the exit. Since this experience has now been a team effort from the beginning, the two women will leave the bathroom together, heads now held high as they are triumphant in victory after conquering the biological necessity of urination.
Now, because I have seen the male mind in action, and have seen first hand what its capabilities are, I will put this peculiarity into simpler terms. Associate this aspect of the female life if you will, to that of one going to the movies. Everyone goes to the movies with at least one other person, just as women must also go to the bathroom with another. The ideologies here are the exact same in that it simply seems abnormal to do either of these things by oneself. After buying a ticket and entering the theatre together, you may first visit a snack shop inside the theatre, or you may visit a candy dispenser if you have the desire to. This is not dissimilar to women first visiting dispensers of womanly matters (which I would prefer not to discuss in elaborate detail for obvious reasons) before entering the stall, or for the purposes of this analogy, the theatre. Another option to this that many people choose is to sneak candy into the theatre in one�s pockets as to avoid the outrageous price of the dispensers that lie within. Before entering the bathroom, for similar reasons, some women take it upon themselves to be fully equipped with these objects of womanly matters upon entrance, �sneaking� it in their purse. When the two people enter the cinema, they will discuss their personal preferences over the seating arrangements and their specific comforts, then will sit down and talk about whatever matters cross their minds. However, once the movie starts, both parties get right down to business, and ideally do not speak again until the conclusion. This is similar to the women�s bathroom scene in that once the pair has agreed upon two stalls adjacent to each other, they may engage in conversation temporarily, but once the show starts, it is expected that you will be silent. Once the feature presentation has finished, the party at the movie will often times stick around for a few minutes, and re-engage in conversation, speaking of whatever matters they find necessary to the time. Perhaps even, they will talk about whether or not they liked the movie (this concept is a little to disturbing to be related back to the bathroom scene). Similarly, women will hang around the bathroom and discuss with their partner whatever they feel the need. Whether it is the movie theatre or the women�s bathroom, both partners to the party will leave through the exit having accomplished their goals together.
While many questions still remain in the male mind about the activity or intentions of his female counterpart, hopefully this essay can put at least the thoughts over the women�s bathroom to rest. Indeed, the buddy system used for the women�s bathroom is one that is not experienced in the male world, and is a difficult concept to grasp. However, the simple and lone reason for this unprecedented phenomenon is companionship. Women feel a sense of comfort having someone encounter their bathroom experiences with them, perhaps even finding this fun. If this concept is confusing, as I expect it would be for most, remember to relate it back to the movie theatre analogy, as the two are very similar. The female friendship bond is indeed a strong one, and while many factors play part to this, I like to think that the companionship women find in the bathroom is a very large contributor.