*Or so they would have you believe. History, as the Residents and/or the Cryptic Corporation tell it, is a veritable reef of half-truths, lies, distortions, red herrings, blatant contraditions, and the truth. Also, each story I'm telling here has been told in several versions: none of them is definitive, because there is simply no way to distinguish fact from fiction. In other words, it's all apocrypha. It's mythology.

Come on. Did you really think the Residents had kept their identities a secret for 30 years by giving honest answers to everyone who asked questions?

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