What are you gonna do today, Napoleon? Whatever I feel like I wanna do, gosh!
I spent like three hours shading the upper lip.
Stay home and eat all the fricken chips, Kip. Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter. Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time. Try and hit me, Napoleon What? I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me.
Take a look at what I'm wearing, people. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it. Last off, my students will learn about self respect. You think anybody thinks I'm a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it!
Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again? I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines!Did you shoot any? Yes, like 50 of em! They kept trying to attack my cousins, what the heck would you do in a situation like that? What kind of gun did you use? A frickin 12-gauge, what do you think?
I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.
What about your girlfriend? Well, things are getting pretty serious right now. I mean, we chat online for, like, two hours every day so I guess you could say things are gettin' pretty serious
Tina, you fat lard, come get some DINNER!... Tina, eat. Food. Eat the FOOD!
I'm trying to earn money for college. Your mom goes to college
Is grandma there? No, she's getting her hair done. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... What do you need? Can you just go get her for me? I'm really busy right now. Just tell her to come get me. Why? Cause I don't feel good! Well, have you talked to the school nurse? No, she doesn't know anything. Will you just come get me? No. Well, will you do me a favor then? Can you bring me my chapstick? No, Napoleon. But my lips hurt real bad! Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has like five sticks in her drawer I'm not gonna use hers, you sicko! See ya. Ugh! Idiot!
Well, what is there to eat? Knock it off Napoleon, just make yourself a dang quesa-dilluh!
Why do you love me? Why do you need me? Always and forever... We met in a chatroom, now our love can fully bloom... Sure the world wide web is great, but you, you make my salivate... I love technology, but not as much as you, you see... But I STILL love technology... Always and forever. Our love is like a flock of doves, flying up to heaven above... always and forever, always and forever... Why do you need me? Why do you love me? Always and forever...
Last week, Japanese scientists explaced... placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally.
Dodgeball
Go ahead, make your jokes, Mr. Jokey... Joke-maker. But let me hit you with some knowledge. Quit now. Save yourself the embarrassment of losing with these losers in Las Vegas, La Fleur. Alliteration aside, I'll take my chances in the tournament. Yeah, you will take your chances. I know. I just said that. I know you just said that. I'm not sure where you're going with this. I'm not sure where you're going with this. That's what I said. That's what I'm saying to you. All right. Touch�.
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood. NOBODY.
Quit? You know, once I was thinking of quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I'm sure you have a good reason to quit. So what are you dying of that's keeping you from the finals?
I know you. You know you. And I know you know that I know you.
Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? Probably not. No, but I do it anyway because it's sterile and I like the taste.
Always remember the five d's of dodgeball: dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge!
You were adopted, your parents don't love you.
You're about as useful as a poopie-flavored lollipop.
Thank you, Chuck Norris.
Oh, I don't think I'm a lot dumber than you think that I thought I once was.
That's me, White. W-H-I-T... E.
We ARE the Globo Gym Purple Cobras... and we will, we will, rock you!
I'm gonna catch up with you guys later. I'm gonna have a bathroom... go to the drink... in the bathroom Whatever you do, wash your hands.
Wait, you're telling me that there's a guy who dresses like a pirate on our team?