Chapter
4
It’d been a week and I had no progress. If anything I was pushing her further
away. She was so far already could I
push her back anymore? However she was
doubly upset because Chris hadn’t called since that night we came home from
shopping.
I hadn’t stayed home all day… I was walking
around… After she came home from work I was actually unsure of what to say to
her. She looked so upset.
“What’s wrong?” I asked as she began
crying. She wouldn’t tell me.
“Nothing.”
“Liar.”
“Christian please spare me this once.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Me! My
life is falling around me and it’s my entire fault. Chris doesn’t want to call… I can never reach
him… I’m even considering what you said before…
Maybe he’s cheating on me… maybe if I had my head on straight I wouldn’t
have gotten fired today… I just want to die!” She cried as she fell on the bed.
I sat next to her and cradled her in my arms.
“Never say that again! Never.
I don’t know what I’d ever do with out you. He loves you I’m sure of it. I was just trying to think of excuses that
night… that’s all. All right?”
She nodded her head in comprehension. After a little while she relaxed. She stood and walked to the answering
machine, I hadn’t even realized there was a message… we started listening to
the only message she had. I watched in
bewilderment as tears streaked her face once again.
“Hello sweet. I am actually glad you’re not picking up. It
makes this a lot easier to tell you. I’m not coming back. To
What I had just assured her of
ricocheted and challenged her word… making mine, false. I felt horrible… She slowly sunk to the floor and covered her
face. She wouldn’t let me touch her.
“LEAVE!” She shouted.
“JUST… leave!” She coughed.
“HE LOVES ME! HE DOES!” She
cried… I tried harder to comfort her.
“I don’t want to see you… I don’t
want to see anyone.”
*And he did as I demanded and left.
“I just want to die.” I
whispered. I felt so sick so used. Not by Christian but by Chris. He used my love against me… to get what he
wanted only to run off with another woman.
But right now I didn’t want to see Christian either… I felt as if I’d used his love as well.
*”I WANT TO LEAVE! TAKE ME BACK!” I screamed as I sobbed. She didn’t want me and she’d never want me again…
I wanted to go back.
Suddenly a white light was all around
me and I could see Satine.
“What are you doing?” She smiled
wiping my tears.
“I want to go back. Now…” I whispered pulling my face away.
“But why? She loves you Christian… can’t you see it? It’s in her eyes you just have to reach far
enough into them.” She again smiled.
She’s helped me so much through out
this year.
“How do you know?” I relaxed. She smiled wider and shook her head.
“Because I can see it in yours.” I looked down. Maybe she was right.
“Do you really want to come back?”
“No.”
“Don’t quit now Christian… don’t quit
on her. You never quit on me.” Suddenly everything went bright and I was
once again standing in the dark street.
A sudden feeling of terror swept over
me. I was going to lose her tonight if I
didn’t get back!