Saying Goodbye to You

By: Linz005

 

Of all the things I believed in
I just want to get this over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

Brian awoke to the noise of someone fingering through the clothes in the wardrobe he shared with his lover Curt. He had fought with Curt the night before and was glad to hear him in the room.

“Curt, what are you doing?” He asked without even sitting up or looking.

“Packing. As quickly as possible.”

Where are we going?” Brian asked naively

“Nowhere. I’m leaving alone.” He remained calm though he was falling apart inside.

I’ve been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I’m hearing
Are starting to get old
It feels like I’m starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,

“Brian, I can’t do this anymore. We can’t. We’ve been fighting non- stop since we came back at Hammersmith. I know we always said we wouldn’t let anything touch us, but it has. We’re hurting each other, using each other. And it’s killing me. I can’t live in your world. You told me to go and I am.” He held back tears as he yanked the zipper closing his last bag.

“I’ll die without you.” Brian cried, but Curt just shook his head in the negative.

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold onto

Curt turned to the door. His car was waiting for him. He loved Brian, but everything had just gotten way to big. He loved Brian, not Maxwell Demon.

Your all I want Curt! All I need. I can’t go on without you!” The tears began to stream down his face.

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can’t live a day
Without you
Closing my eyes and you chase
My thoughts away
To a place where
I am blinded by the light
But its not right

Brian spun Curt back around having gotten up out of the bed. He grabbed him and embraced him in his arms. He pulled his face to his and locked him in a passionate kiss. Curt fought with all his might to resist. He pulled away, but eventually he sunk into the kiss giving into the inevitable.

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold onto

“That’s why I have to go Brian. Because I can’t resist.”

And it hurts to want everything and
Nothing at the same time
I want what’s yours
And I want what’s mine
I want you

But I’m not giving in this time

He pulled away and walked out the door. He trudged down the stairs for the last time and made his way to the waiting car. On the way to the airport he fought the urge to turn around. His heart and soul burned for Brian. He just couldn’t do it anymore. He wouldn’t allow himself.

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold onto

“Out Jerry! O.U.T.”

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You’re my shooting star

 

 

~Lyrics belong to Michelle Branch~

 

 

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