Out of the Darkness... Chasing the Sun
Fortune was smiling upon them this morning. In one day, Satine broke free of
withdrawal and began trusting Christian. Amazing, impossible, but true.
Marie had brought some breakfast for the both of them, and left immediately
after that; Satine still feared everyone else. They both sat on the bed facing
each other, with a large plate in the middle. He tore a piece of a croissant off
and held it in front of her, but she seemed reluctant to take it.
“What’s wrong? These are your favorite Satine!” he exclaimed. She looked down
at the bed. A pearly tear fell down her cheek.
“What is it? You said you were hungry... Satine, talk to me, please!” Worry
filled him with fear. “Why won’t she take it? I don’t understand...”
She refused to look at him. He tried to lift her chin so he could make some
sort of eye contact, but she pushed him away and curled up in a tight ball.
“She’s so thin! If she doesn’t eat soon she’ll wither away...But why won’t she
take it?”
They stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity; Satine cowering from
the food, and Christian, confused and sick with worry, trying to figure out
what was wrong with her. She wouldn’t say a word to him, so he was on his own.
“She’s been beaten and starved like an animal” Harold’s words echoed in his
head. She... wasn’t used to eating anymore? No, that couldn’t be it. She wasn’t
allowed to eat before? Obviously, but there was something else...
“She afraid to eat!” The realization struck him directly between the eyes.
“That bastard Duke... Whatever he did, he’ll pay for it... I swear...” He
quelled his anger quickly and tried to find a solution to Satine’s eating
problem. She was afraid to eat, but she has obviously hungry. She trusted
Christian, but was afraid of the food. “A trick? The Duke tricked her with
food?” Another realization, this time more shocking than the first. “He starved
her, then taunted her with food and...” The mere thought of the Duke tricking
Satine into being easily raped made the poet shake with fury.
Irrepressible anger boiled inside him, and the strong urged to hit the wall
(only because the Duke wasn’t here) was hard to ignore. But Satine caught his
eye; he couldn’t frighten her like that. The boiling stopped instantly, and was
replaced with an emotion more powerful than anything: love.
“Hey...” he spoke softly as he approached her. She flinched as his arm brushed
against her. He hushed her gently and reassured her, “I’m not going to hurt
you, it’s alright...”
She lifted her head to look at him. Her eyes mirrored that of a broken woman,
lost and afraid. She nodded, letting him know that she believed him. He opened
his arms and she gratefully found comfort in them.
“I know you’re hungry Satine, and you know you can trust me. I won’t force you
to eat, but... You need food.”
She nodded against him.
“Do you want some croissants now?”
She nodded again. He took the piece her offered her previously and she timidly
took it. Still cuddled against Christian, she nibbled on the piece. In a few
instants, it was gone. She held up her hand as a sign that she wanted another.
He raised his eyebrow at her.
“More?”
She nodded and smiled, like a small child playing a game. He took another piece
and held it just above her reach. She pouted like a spoiled two-year-old and
crossed her arms.
“First say it: I want more,” Christian smiled in spite of the worry building in
the back of his mind.
Her lip quivered as she shook her head vigorously. “Why won’t she talk?”
Since she came back, she hadn’t spoken a word. Christian hadn’t noticed before
this.
Instead of pressing her to talk, he took the doctor’s advice not to rush her.
He would be here for her, not to force her to do something she wasn’t ready to.
He gave her the piece and she smiled happily. At least she was eating.
Christian kissed the top of her head as she nibbled on her second piece.
Silence reigned for the rest of the morning. Satine in his arms, slowly eating,
and Christian with his thoughts. A song played itself in his mind (or to be
more accurate, a part of a song) over and over.
“Want to be free,
Talk to me
I can feel you falling
Wanted to be
All you need...”
He could feel her falling deeper into the darkness. And he felt as though he
couldn’t save her unless she talked to him. “Maybe I’m not what she needs...”
he thought sadly.
“Talk to me, I can feel you falling...”
~”Gone” by the
Goo Goo Dolls