Out of the Darkness... Reaching the Sun's
Ray
The sun was setting slowly, and a sole spectator watched alone in Christian's
garret. She hadn't spoken to him since they returned, and she hadn't moved from
her spot. Watching the sun was the only thing keeping her mind off the duke.
From his spot on the bed, Christian watched her sadly. She hadn't been herself
since she'd been found, and he was really missing the Satine he knew. Christian
felt guilty about his thoughts, but more and more he found himself wishing this
Satine would disappear the real one would return.
He caught himself before the wishing began. Christian looked at his beloved
sitting alone on the windowsill. She was alone, scared and depending on him.
Ashamed at his previous thoughts, he focused on the love he had for Satine,
this one as well as the "other". They were, after all, the same
person.
"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked her quietly, the guilt fresh
in his mind.
She didn't respond but contented herself to coo at a sparrow hopping on the
windowsill. "What a pretty bird..."
Christian walked up to her and grabbed her arm gently. "Satine, are you
okay?" he repeated. She avoided his gaze and didn't answer. He cupped her
chin and their eyes met: his were filled with concern, and hers with tears.
"Talk to me! Tell me what's wrong."
She pushed away from him and began pacing about the room. Her hands fumbled
restlessly as she paced, back and forth.
"What's wrong is that I'm humiliated! Everyone saw, Chris! They all know
what a weakling I am! And no thanks to you, I crumbled when I promised myself I'd
stay strong and he punched me in the face and I practically let him do it. Just
like before, I let him do what he wants with me and I don't know why and he
just has his way with me and I don't lift a goddamn finger! So no, Christian,
I'm not okay!"
Christian's stupor lasted only a moment. Not only did she swear, she spoke so
angrily that he almost didn't recognize her.
"No thanks to me!?!" he exclaimed in disbelief. "I distinctively
remember jumping the duke because he punched you in the face! And don't you
dare say you let him do it because you don't care! I won't let you talk about
yourself that way!" "I'll talk about myself in whatever manner I
please, Christian! And I distinctively remember you gaping stupidly at the duke
while his fist collided with my face," she retorted hotly, not caring
about the fact that she was yelling.
"Gaping stupidly? I was terrified because I happen to love you and I
didn't want you hurt again but obviously that doesn't mean much to you!"
Christian yelled back. "The woman I love died a long time ago, and all I
can think of is wanting her back, but I can see it's not going to happen."
In his anger, he was glad his words struck home. But it all melted away when
she didn't yell back at him and simply looked at her feet. He hurt her. As much
as he promised he wouldn't, he did. And the guilt enjoyed tearing him on the
inside.
"You were supposed to protect me," she murmured sadly. He rushed to
her.
"I know, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any of it..."
She looked up at him and smiled her first real smile in a long time. "Can
we stop fighting?"
He nodded, his forehead touching hers. Smiling, he kissed her nose playfully.
Satine laughed happily and draped her arms around his neck, while his encircled
her small waist.
"I love you," he said, and to his surprise, her eyes twinkled
mischievously. Their lips suddenly met for the first time in months.
And it felt like the first time.
Lightheaded and blissfully giddy, they pulled apart, but didn't let each other
go. "I love you too."
The sun's rays danced in the garret and played on Christian's face. Satine
reached out to touch one of them. He realized that she was back to her old self
again.
"I missed you," Christian said.
"I'm glad to be back, but the other Satine's got a thing or two coming for
you," she replied, trying not to laugh.
Feigning fear, he whispered in her ear, "we'll just have to keep you
bother busy." Christian swung her around and, to the sound of the song
that brought them together, they danced the night away.
"I was made for loving you baby and you were made for loving me."
"The only way of loving me baby..."
~”The Elephant
Love Medley” from Moulin Rouge~
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Thirteen