Numb
© Black Tangled Heart
~Unable so lost
I can't find my way~
The blackness inside his conscience had kept him from
discovering a lingering sense of solace. He lived beneath a constant storm
cloud of narcolepsy, lapsing into perturbing bouts of sleep. Hours of darkness
brought him no solace. As he watched the scarlet sun disappear, its blazing
tendrils blending beautifully with the Moulin Rouge's light, he found himself
wishing that daylight could be eternal. The warmth could heal the sickness that
plagued him: body, mind, and soul.
~Been searching, but I have never seen
A turning, a turning from deceit~
He seemed to be the only one shrouded in misery. Christian and Satine were in
love, regardless of the situation with the Duke. It was love all the same. He
could see the sparkle in their eyes as they shared a secret smile.
~Coz the child roses like
Try to reveal what I could feel~
He wasn't sure if he possessed the capability to feel. It wasn't the women in
his life that plagued him any longer. It was the sickness that gripped his
body, preventing him from finding solace in the smoky light of a brothel, or
even onstage, rehearsing with the Sparkling Diamond.
~I can't understand myself anymore
But I m still feeling lonely
Feeling so unholy~
He watched the inky velvet sky become clustered with stars. As the iridescent
glow shone on his brown face, the world began to spin and shift, becoming a
blur of obsidian and scarlet. Reality dissolved as he slid into
unconsciousness.
~Coz the child roses like
Try to reveal what I could feel
But this loneliness
It just won't leave me alone~
Pain seemed impenetrable, like an opaque curtain of pain draped across his
existence. Inside a perturbed realm of sudden blackness, faith melted. His hope
lay in the glittering stars, but he couldn't reach them. They remained
untouchable and pure.
~I'm fooling somebody
A faithless path to roam
Deceiving to breathe this secretly
This silence, a silence I can't bear~
He felt ice against his throat, ice that smoothed itself across his forehead
and lips. Ice that danced down Nini's
cheeks in a glittering salty trail of resentment. She knelt beside him,
breath stained with Absinthe, voice raspy with passion. She kissed his fears
away; she shielded him from anguish.
~Coz the child roses like
Try to reveal what I could feel~
He awoke, cold and alone. His chest constricted. Had she been next to him? Had
her kisses adorned his flesh and melted his agony? Had it all been a hope, a
prayer, a futile wish made on the glimmering, glowering
face of the pewter star above his head?
~And this loneliness
It just won't leave me alone
And this loneliness,
It just won't leave me alone~
On the floor of his garret, he closed his eyes. Upon the rough wooden planks,
he fell into a dreamless sleep, cheeks still stained with saline frost, and
mouth dry from forceful, live giving kisses. Her breath lived inside him, and
brought him an obscure tranquility.
~A lady of war…a lady of war~
Song used: “Numb”
Portishead