"In Between The Lines"
By Magenta
'Until I'm Completely Satisfied'
Part 4 Chapter 4
Summary: Christian and Satine are angry at each other after their first fight regarding The Duke. Both begin to regret what they said and did...
Satine fled from the garret, tears and mascara trailing from her eyes. She made her way down the stairs, onto the street and into Montmartre Square. Satine decided she couldn’t go back to her room in this condition, in case people started asking questions that she couldn’t answer. Instead she stood for a moment and then turned to look at the large Elephant Room. It hadn’t been in use since the beginning of the production, so Satine decided to flee to her familiar safe haven.
***
Christian stood by the window, hand to his forehead, and anger pumping through his veins. He lifted his eyes to the street and saw Satine appear in the Square and then stop for a moment.
Seconds later he saw her head off in the direction of the Elephant Room...the ‘Red Room’ and he was shocked.
‘What on earth is she doing?’ he wondered.
Christian picked up his jacket and headed out the door.
***
Satine collapsed on the familiar bed, clutching a small pillow to her chest. She wasn’t sure why she had come here. She had so many different emotions attached to the room. It became her domain after her mentor and friend Jane Avril had passed away, and she associated it as a place of power. Satine felt strong here, always in control of her life and the situation before her.
Yet this was certainly one time when she was not in control and she felt completely lost. Satine couldn’t help but remember a not too distant night where she had felt exactly the same way in this room, and it was all because of the same man.
How could one person make her feel so many different emotions? She had opened her heart to him, exposed her feelings and today he took all of that and used it against her. Satine wondered if this was why Harold warned her of falling in love.
***
“What are you doing here then?!”
“I didn’t know where else to go,” Christian said, his voice unsteady.
“To hewr you foowl! You know where she is, go to hewr.” Toulouse said exasperatedly, throwing his arms in the air.
“Why should I?! You out of all people should know what that room is used for,” Christian said heatedly.
“Don’t be wediculous Cwistian, no one’s using that now that the production is underway. She probwably just went there for a touchstone...”
Christian looked at Toulouse questioningly.
“Jane used to work thewre, and a few times when Satine...met with some weally rough customers, well, she’d go seek out Jane’s assistance.”
Christian stared at Toulouse in disbelief. He couldn’t believe that someone could hurt Satine. Why would they want to?
Momentarily realization dawned on Christian; he was no better than any of those bottom feeders who had physically hurt Satine. Sure, what he said wouldn’t leave a visible scar, but he was sure it had cut Satine deeply.
Christian winced at the idea that he could have hurt her so, and in doing this, felt the painful reminder of Satine’s rage lingering on his cheek.
“Have I ruined everything Toulouse?” He asked, now eager to right what he decided was his wrong.
Toulouse shook his head slowly, “I don’t think so. Hewre, take this,” he said handing Christian a small daisy from the vase beside them, “and go see hewr. Do whatever you have to, to make things right. You don’t want to loose her Cwistian.”
Christian took the flower and clasped his other hand around Toulouse’s, “Thank you, you’re a dear friend Toulouse.”
***
The sun had faded, and the night sky lingered over Montmartre. Satine lay on the bed, unable to sleep, yet drifting in and out of a conscious state. Images of Christian flashed before her; his sparking eyes, his loveable smile, the way his face lit up when she entered the room.
He loved her so completely, Satine knew, because she felt the same way. Yet it didn’t seem like he could accept that. Yes, The Duke was a complication, and a big one at that, but that didn’t change how she felt for Christian, and she wanted him to know that.
Satine thought back to Harold’s mantra on love, but now could consider everything she had experienced over her time with Christian. Falling in love was risky; she had given herself completely to Christian, which meant she could be hurt...but the positives far outweighed the negatives. Opening yourself to love another also meant letting your lover in, considering their feelings. Perhaps she should have looked at her situation with The Duke from Christian’s perspective a lot earlier...but it was too late now, she’d lashed out and ruined the purest thing she’d known.
Her head rest against the red velvet pillows, and she drifted, remembering the first time she heard Christian’s beautiful singing.
“My gift is my sooong, and this one’s for you, you can tell everybody, that this is your song...”
Outside the Elephant Room, Christian latched on to the tail, and once more brought himself to the roof. He took the daisy from behind his ear and held it in his hand. Singing, he walked toward the heart shaped window, determined to win Satine back.
Christian reached the entrance and upon the sight of Satine laying silently on the bed, continued, “it may be quite simple, but, now that it’s done, hope you don’t mind, hope you don’t mind that I put down in woooords...”
Satine’s eyes opened, hearing the voice so clearly now, as if Christian were really there.
She turned to the window to see Christian standing, daisy in hand, and singing, “How wonderful life is, now you’re in the world...”
“Christian?” she said, almost checking if she were dreaming.
“Yes?” he replied softly, and walked toward her.
“What are you doing here?”
Christian paused, not sure how to take that question. Did she mean for him to leave?
“Satine, please don’t hate me. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said...”
“I don’t hate you Christian,” she said interrupting, then sighed, “I love you...I’m just angry at you.”
“Oh,” he voiced softly.
She caught his saddened gaze, “or...was angry at you.”
Satine patted beside her on the bed and Christian sat down. Eager to apologise, he handed her the flower and went to speak, but Satine felt the need to explain her actions,
Christian, I was dreaming of the past
And my heart was beating fast
I began to lose control
I began to lose control
Satine closed her eyes in remorse, then opened them at the feel of Christian’s soft caress on her cheek. His touch was so tender, and his eyes were welled up with tears as he sung,
I didn’t mean to hurt you
I’m sorry that I made you cry
I didn’t want to hurt you
I’m just a jealous guy
Christian took Satine’s hands in his, and tried to tell her what he’d been feeling, why he lashed out at her earlier,
I was feeling insecure
You might not love me anymore
I was shivering inside
I was shivering inside
Feeling Christian’s insecurities, she brought her hand to his face, and wiped away the tear that had sprung from his eye. She grazed her hand over the red mark on his cheek and Christian grimaced. His pain was like an arrow through Satine’s heart and shaky with tears, she took him in her arms and sung,
I didn’t mean to hurt you
I’m sorry that I made you cry
Christian wrapped his strong arms around Satine’s small frame. He wanted her to see that it was his fault, just as it was hers. They both did and said things they now regretted. He softly sang into her ear,
I didn’t want to hurt you
I’m just a jealous guy
I didn’t mean to hurt you
I’m sorry that I made you cry
I didn’t want to hurt you
I’m just a jealous guy
Satine pulled out of Christian’s embrace, and saw the truth in his expression. He had worked through what was bothering him and put it into sweet song. It was obvious that he wasn’t ready to give up on ‘them’. He explained to Satine why he climbed the elephant to come and see her,
I was trying to catch your eye
Thought that you were stranded high
I was swallowing my pain
I was swallowing my pain
Satine nestled her head on Christian’s shoulder and softly kissed his neck. He responded to her intimate touch and soothingly stroked his hand over hers, clasped in his lap,
I didn’t mean to hurt you
I’m sorry that I made you cry
I didn’t want to hurt you
I’m just a jealous guy
“...I’m sorry Satine.” He whispered into her ear, “it won’t happen again, I promise.”
Satine’s chest grew lighter, and her heart heaved a sigh of relief, just to be near him again, hear his voice, feel his soft hands.
“I know darling,” she said exhausted, lying down on the bed.
“...never, ever, ever
again. I want you to know that I trust you completely.” He said placing a soft
kiss on her head. Then he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, “...and if you
think it’s best for the Moulin Rouge, go to Paris; with The Duke.”
“Christian, you know I’d never let anything happen...I
wouldn’t…I couldn’t.”
“I know, I don’t know why I said what I did...it’s just that...that...” he trailed off, lost for words.
Satine breathed a knowing sigh, and softly whispered, “You love me.”
“Till the end of time,” Christian breathed into her hair.
Christian lay down beside Satine, and brought her close to his chest. She could rest easy now, knowing that they had made it through another day. Together, and with love, they could overcome all obstacles.
* "Jealous Guy", by John Lennon
Post FEEDBACK Here! Truth, Beauty, Freedom & Love Index