Chapter
Twenty
Satine put on a smile and sat down beside Christian on the
bed. “I got Sara to bed early,” she said
and took his hand in hers.
“Oh really,”
Christian said flatly, keeping his attention on the paper work in front of him.
Persistent,
Satine continued, “and I was thinking maybe we could…” she trailed off and blew
a breath of air into his ear.
“Not now,” he
said, almost annoyed.
Satine got an
angry, pained look on her face. “We
haven’t been together in awhile,” she offered.
“Can’t you see
I’m busy?” He snapped and looked down at his papers.
Satine was
infuriated and hot tears fell from her eyes as she picked up the papers and
threw them across the room.
“What the hell
are you doing?” Christian demanded, finally looking at Satine.
“Getting your attention!”
Satine cried. She looked into his
angry eyes and felt the tiniest twinge of fear.
“Are you going to hit me, Christian?” she challenged in a strangely soft
voice.
His bitter
exterior crumbled and he was left feeling as if a knife had been driven into
his heart. “You know – you know that I
would never hurt you.”
“Not anymore, I
don’t. You’re not the man I married
anymore,” she whispered.
“That’s
ridiculous,” he said, looking down into his hands.
“Oh is it? What happened to the man who taught me to
love? That love was all I would ever
need?”
Christian didn’t
have an answer.
“You’ve stopped
writing! You’ve stopped living!” Satine swallowed and choked out, “You’ve
stopped loving.” Her frustration boiled
up within her again. “The last time we
made love, I felt completely empty inside.
You made me feel like a courtesan again, Christian.”
The words killed
Christian. He raked his fingers through
his hair but still, he said nothing.
Satine went on, “If
you don’t change for me, at least change for Sara. Tonight she asked me, ‘Why doesn’t Daddy ever
play with me? Doesn’t he love me?’” Satine was unaware of the streams of tears
falling down her cheeks. “Your baby girl
wants a father.”
“I don’t know
what to say,” Christian whispered.
“Well I do!”
Satine yelled. “You need to pull
yourself together and stop feeling sorry for yourself. I want to help you, but I can’t if you won’t
let me in!” She calmed herself, not
wanting to wake Sara and sat down beside Christian. “Now, more than ever, the world needs the man
I married,” she said and shook her head as she made her way to the windowsill
and looked out to the stars that she had wished on for so long.
There were several moments of tense silence before Satine began;
Close the
door
Shut the
world away
All the
fight’s gone from this
Wounded
heart
Across the
floor
Dreams and
shadows play
Like
windblown refugees
Christian held his head in his hands, wondering what had
happened to him. What happened to the
reassuring faith he used to have in the world?
Christian was
always touched deepest by music and Satine was hoping was hoping that this song
would reach his heart. The world needed
him and his bohemian spirit.
Satine felt a tear drip down her face as she sang the next
verse;
Call the
man
Who deals
in love beyond repair
He can
heal the world
Of hearts
in need of care
Shine a
light ahead
When the
next step is unclear
Call the
man
He’s
needed here
It had never occurred to Christian that he was needed. He had always done what felt right in his
heart.
He sighed and looked at Satine, who was singing to him, begging
just to be loved;
I close my
eyes
I remember
when
Your sweet
love filled this empty room
The tears
I cry
Won’t
bring him back again
Unless the
lonely star should fall
Satine had never felt so lonely.
It was even worse than with Christian gone. At lease then she was filled with hope that
he would come back to her. But she
wouldn’t let herself let go of that last bit of faith, it was what kept her
going.
Call the
man
Who deals
in love beyond repair
He can
heal the world
Of hearts
in need of care
Shine a
light ahead
When the
next step is unclear
Call the
man he’s needed here
Satine gasped when she felt Christian’s arms encircle her
waist. He had risen from the bed and
limped over to her. She turned to see
him with tears in his eyes as well. She
wrapped her arms around him and he softly cried into her shoulder. Satine stroked Christian’s hair and in his
touch, found the strength to continue;
Needed in
the chaos and confusion
From the
plains to city hall
Needed
where the proud who walk
The wire are set to fall
“Forgive me,” Christian pleaded and kissed across Satine’s
face. “Take me back-please…” he
whispered.
“Shh,” Satine
said and put a finger to Christian’s quivering lips. “I don’t need to take you back,
Christian. I never let you go.”
Satine hugged him
to her and could feel his hands caressing her back as she finished;
Call the
man
Who deals
in once upon a time
Maybe he
Can mend this
broken heart of mine
Shine a
light ahead
Now the
future isn’t clear
Call the
man
He’s
needed here
Call the
man
He’s
needed here
Christian tasted Satine’s lips and breathed in the scent of her
hair, memorizing her all over again. He
kissed along her throat and cradled her face in his hands and breathed, “Let me
make love to you, Satine.”
Satine nodded and
Christian let his smile come through that hadn’t graced his face for so long.
The two were
quickly undressed and Satine was situated safely beneath the man she fell in
love with one starry night at the Moulin Rouge.
Christian felt
new life as he remembered what it was like to hear his heartbeat as one with
Satine’s. He worshipped her with his
hands, exploring her entire body.
He felt his
desire reach its peak and he looked into Satine’s eyes before bringing her with
him to the ultimate connection.
“Yes,” Satine
whispered hoarsely and pressed her palms against his back to bring him to her
faster.
Satine let out a
quick gasp and Christian experienced a new kind of perfection as she gently
rocked her hips against his. He let his
hands wander along her arched spine and panted “I love you” into her neck.
“Forever,” Satine
breathed.
They spent the
entire night in each other’s arms.
Christian finally opened his soul to Satine again and told her of all
the horrors that had haunted him from the war.
Whenever he became possessed by the ghostly memories, Satine would
soothe him with comforting words and her gentle touch.
Christian felt
completion again. Even though he was a
long cry from being himself, he knew that Satine would help him get there.
Neither of them
knew what to expect in the future. The
war still raged on around the world.
People were dying and money was low.
But despite all
the evils of the world, they would live on. Live on with each other and their
precious daughter. Live on with the hope that exists inside every heart with
the breaking of each day.
They would dance
across the starry sky as the embers of fire are swept into the night, into the
future, with passion and love.