| ~Chapter 10~ Reims, France ~ April 20th, 1917 Satine placed Sara on her small, wooden changing table and handed her a light brown stuffed bear. �Do you want your bear, sweetie?� Sara�s eyes lit up as she chirped, �Bear!� She took the animal in her hands and began to talk to it while Satine shook some powder on her small bottom. She wrapped the cloth diaper around Sara�s waist and pinned it, careful so as not to harm her little girl�s soft skin. Once Sara�s diaper was successfully put on, Satine lifted her from the table and placed her on the floor. Satine helped Sara, who was still enraptured in conversation with the bear, put on the red nightgown. As Sara poked her head of bouncy, sweet smelling curls out of the nightgown, and beamed at her mother, Satine remembered the first time she laid her eyes on her precious daughter� Reims, France ~November 10th 1914 �Oh GOD!� Satine screamed. Her contractions were getting so strong and frequent that she thought she wouldn�t possibly be able to make it. The doctor tried, in his utmost calmest voice to soothe his patient. �Satine, you�re so far along now. You�re almost there, you�re doing perfectly.� After her contraction subsided, Satine collapsed in a heap against the bed that she had been moved to. She turned her head to look at Emma, who, along with Melinda, she had asked to stay with her for support. �I can�t do this,� she moaned, her eyes watering in pain. Emma rubbed her hand. �Yes you can,� she said with a confident smile. �The pain will be gone soon and you will have a beautiful baby.� Satine nodded and nearly passed out when the doctor announced that he needed her to start pushing again. She clamped her eyes shut and tensed every muscle in her body, doing her best to remember to breathe. �I can see the head, mademoiselle,� the doctor smiled. �I believe that the next push will be the one.� Emma moved several, sweaty curls that stuck to Satine�s forehead. �Thank you, Emma,� Satine whispered. �Oh, it�s my pleasure, Satine! You�re my friend, I would never have you go through this alone.� Emma released her hand a moment and retrieved a damp cloth dipped in cool water and wiped her neck and face with it. �Just breathe,� she whispered. �Well, it�s hard to when you�re�sweet Jesus!!!� Satine ended with a shriek. It was time, she knew it. She carefully braced herself and pushed as the doctor instructed her. Her whole face was creased in tension and pain. She could only barely register the words of the doctor and the encouragement from Emma; all she knew was that the most intense, searing pain she had ever experienced. After what seemed like an extraordinary amount of time, the sound of a loud cry filled the room. Satine looked around frantically. �Is my baby all right?� she choked out. She had just produced another little person; it was almost too wonderful to explain. �Just perfect,� the doctor said, wrapping the baby in a towel and handing it to Satine. �Congratulations, she�s beautiful.� Satine gasped as she took the tiny bundle and held it close. �My girl,� she whispered. Her heart swelled and she whispered to her daughter, �Mama loves you so much. I�m so glad you�re here with me.� Satine was full of questions when the doctor took the baby away. �Where are you taking her? When will I see her again? Can I come with her?� Emma smiled at the genuine curiosity written all over Satine�s face and tried to distract her with a question of her own. �So Satine, what is this little girl�s name?� Satine and Christian had picked a name for a boy and a name for a girl. Satine sighed, �Sara Marie. My sweet girl�s name is Sara.� Langres, France ~ November 15th, 1914 It was Christian�s third month on the battlefield. He wasn�t as much in shock anymore, but his fear still remained. He trudged through the mud, staying as low as possible. There were noises everywhere, and Christian ducked down into a trench, his eyes straining to see clearly where he was. All the sudden, he spotted something he�s never seen before. An obvious German soldier was standing eerily still in the midst of the commotion, not 15 feet away from Christian, who was peeking over the top of the trench. He watched the man, barely hearing his own breathing quicken. A strangled gasp escaped Christian�s mouth as the man ever so slowly raised his gun. The man was aiming above Christian�s head and to the right, but nonetheless, aiming at a target. Before he knew what he was doing, Christian clutched onto his weapon that he despised, and brought it above the trench, standing on his feet. Raising the gun to the perfectly still man, he took a sharp breath in and closing his eyes, he pulled the trigger. A loud noise devoured Christian�s body, and he took a step backwards. He opened his eyes. The man was still perfectly motionless, but now he was sprawled out on the ground. The man�s gun was still in his hand, as it had been just a moment before. Christian could not move. His mouth grew wide and he let out a sharp, shaky breath. He stared in disbelief at what he had just done; the life he had just taken. He had turned his back on everything he believed in, betraying himself. Christian had killed another man. The next thing he knew, he was running in frantic directions, somewhat trying to find the way back to the camp. Tears streamed down his face for everything that had happened in the previous 5 months. It all boiled down to one question. Why did he leave Reims? He finally reached the camp, and throwing his gun to the ground, he walked briskly back to his brown, bland tent. He sat down in the middle of the small quarters, crossing his legs. His chin quivered and his hands still shook. �I�m sorry, Satine�I�m sorry I left you,� he whispered, looking up and closing his eyes. He let the hot tears fall freely, and his head slowly bent down into his hands. After several unbearable moments of wracking sobs, Christian opened his tear filled eyes and something caught his attention. He wiped his eyes with his filthy shirt sleeve, making his face a grimy mix of dirt, sweat and tears. Soon he was able to put everything back into focus. The mail must have come some how because right on the floor of his tent was a letter from Satine. With hot tears still falling from his eyes, he opened the letter as slowly as possible, brushing the envelope against his lips and nose, trying to get any trace of her scent from it. Once the seal was broken, he carefully pulled out the piece of stationary and began to read. Dearest Christian, I miss you every single moment with a pain that simply tears me apart. My eyes are usually filled with tears, but I hope the news in this letter brings a sparkle of a smile to yours. We have a child, darling. A perfect baby girl named Sara Marie. Christian stopped reading and realized that he had forgotten to breathe. His breath came out in a large sigh. �Sara,� he whispered. The beautiful name of his child rolling off his tongue. He had to steady his shaking hands before continuing. She was born on November 10th and is everything we could have ever asked for. Sara has your dark brunette hair and my blue eyes. She has the sweetest, softest cheeks that I just know will dimple when she shows her first smile. We have a child, Christian. I have to pinch myself to think that our love is so strong, that we created another person. It is the greatest feeling I could have ever imagined. I love you so very much and I know that we will soon be together again. Love always, Satine �My beautiful girls,� he spoke softly. He read the letter once more to fully comprehend what he had just been informed. Christian was a horribly tangled web of sensations. It was eerily strange to realize he had killed a person and brought one into the world in a matter of a few minutes. His conflicting emotions had utterly exhausted him. His eyelids were heavy and a dull, aching feeling filled his head. Christian rested his head onto the thread bare pillow and let himself fall into a sleep filled with dreams that not even a poet like himself could possibly describe. |